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-   -   I met a guy who I think is sexually confused, should I give him a chance? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=470400)

  • May 12, 2010, 11:36 AM
    Butterflies1987
    I met a guy who I think is sexually confused, should I give him a chance?
    A few weeks ago I met this incredible guy, he's sweet, funny and just love to hang out with him. We can be together for hours and just enjoy eachothers company. I seriously thought I met the perfect man.

    One thing I always like to say is that I have the Gaydar! I can honestly tell when someone is gay just from the first time I meet them. Sad to say when I met him I got that gay vibe, but I brushed it off because my friends always tell me "YOU THINK EVERYONE IS GAY" but the more I would hang out with him I would get chills. I was stressed out and I couldn't sleep so I decided to go to a Pyshic. She brings him up and saids "He's hiding something in the closet, he's been hurt too many times from girls that he's confused with his sexuality!"
    I knew it! I told myself that I would just be his friend but the more I hang out with him he tells me that he likes me and he feels good around me. I feel the same way too. I can't stop thinking about him. I'm just scared that he's using me to hide his sexuality.
    But I feel like I need to confront him on this matter? Should I?
  • May 12, 2010, 11:44 AM
    I wish

    You've only known him for a few weeks, why not continue to get to know him better and see where that leads?

    What's the rush? Enjoy the time that you spend together and keep getting to know each other better. Let things flow naturally. Eventually you can have that confrontation to clarify things, just wait until you're more comfortable with each other.
  • May 12, 2010, 11:50 AM
    artlady

    I would not place any credibility on what a psychic told you.
    Enjoy your friendship and stop trying to place people in boxes by using your *gaydar*.

    If you feel the need to ask him anything,ask him where if anywhere he sees your relationship heading.
  • May 12, 2010, 11:51 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    I don't know, while idea, ask him?

    And I am still laughing, you can tell they are gay, is that the apron they where, or the rainbow bumper sticker.
    There is nothing different in gay and straight people except one perfers the same sex, so in work, or in many things, there is no way to tell.

    And ( REALLY LOL) you went to a fortune teller, wow, asking him would have saved you a lot of money. And yes, you wanted to here what they told you, and they gave you an answer, not a direct yes or no, of course, so they can always be right
  • May 12, 2010, 11:56 AM
    Butterflies1987

    Hahaha I know I know!! Well actually the Psychic Lady is a friend of ours and it was free. I did not mention him she did.

    And "I WISH" You are right I'm just going to go with the flow and see if anything happens if not we can have a great friendship!

    I just don't want to get my hopes up that's why I feel like asking him, But I'm going to wait at least a month or two before. Thanks!
  • May 12, 2010, 12:04 PM
    Clough
    Hi, Butterflies1987!

    At this point in time and for some time in the future, what might be the most important thing for you concerning this other person, knowing about his sexuality or just simply getting to know him the way he presents himself to you as simply a friend?

    Also, do you like to hang out with straight guys equally as well as with gay guys?

    Thanks!
  • May 12, 2010, 12:06 PM
    Cat1864

    More importantly, is he in a relationship? If he is bi or straight, it might be a 'hope' killer to find out you have been waiting to ask about sexuality just to find out he is 'taken'. Miffed partners can be bad no matter what gender.
  • May 12, 2010, 12:13 PM
    Butterflies1987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    Hi, Butterflies1987!

    At this point in time and for some time in the future, what might be the most important thing for you concerning this other person, knowing about his sexuality or just simply getting to know him the way he presents himself to you as simply a friend?

    Also, do you like to hang out with straight guys equally as well as with gay guys?

    Thanks!

    Now that I think about it I feel more comfortable hanging out with gay guys more than straight but I put a lot of thought into this. I made sure that I didn't just like him as a "friend". I actually like him more I think about him all the time and he tells me the same thing, that he wants it to be more than friends.
  • May 12, 2010, 12:18 PM
    Clough
    He's actually told you that he wants "it to be more than friends"?
  • May 12, 2010, 12:42 PM
    Butterflies1987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough View Post
    He's actually told you that he wants "it to be more than friends"?

    Yes, I quote "BUT I like you more than a friend so I consider it dating." Those were his exact words. Do you think I should ask him if he's confused. If he is I'm still willing to give him a chance.

    I went through my curious phase so I do not judge him I would actually perfer for him to tell me the truth so I can be calm and relax lol.
  • May 12, 2010, 12:56 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Butterflies1987 View Post
    Yes, I quote "BUT I like you more than a friend so I consider it dating." Those were his exact words. Do you think I should ask him if he's confused. If he is I'm still willing to give him a chance.

    I went through my curious phase so I do not judge him I would actually perfer for him to tell me the truth so I can be calm and relax lol.

    Since you have gone through a *curious* phase and since you have this great need to know,you might broach the subject by asking if he ever had a *curious* phase.
    You seem determined to have an answer so I think that may be a good way to casually bring it up. :)
  • May 12, 2010, 01:01 PM
    Butterflies1987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    Since you have gone through a *curious* phase and since you have this great need to know,you might broach the subject by asking if he ever had a *curious* phase.
    You seem determined to have an answer so I think that may be a good way to casually bring it up. :)

    Hahaha is it obvious? You are right I will bring that up in one of our conversations. Hopefully he will be honest with me. :)

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