Is it time to move on or should I try to fix things?
My boyfriend and I have been through a lot in the last two and a half years of our relationship and I'm starting to have doubts.
Here's the short version of what's going on: (I'm sorry, this is still going to be pretty long)
My boyfriend and I got together in our first year of college. He left his girlfriend for me and I left my former boyfriend for him. We couldn't have been happier, things were fantastic, best relationship I ever had.
We moved in together the following year (2nd year of college) and things were great till close to the end of the year... he grew distant and started talking non-stop to this other chick. He felt he needed some space to figure things out because he didn't see us going anywhere anymore. Needless to say when we were on our "break" he hooked up with this chick. (even though he was still lliving with me in a ONE bedroom apartment.)
I knew their relationship wouldn't last and that this had to be a phase but that didn't make it hurt any less. I feel awful for what I'm about to say next, but we slept together while he was with her (and not just in the same bed... I mean sex aswell) him saying how much he still cared about me and that he's unsure as to whether or not he made a mistake in leaving me. The cheating made me feel awful, and I vowed never to let it happen again (and it didnt).
Anyway, the relationship with this other chick ended three months later (into the summer) I won't say I was happy about it because breaking up is never easy on a person, but I can't say I was overly sorry.
As I foresaw, he told me he ended it with her because he didn't feel happy with her. He said that she wasn't the same as me and that no one had taken better care of him than I had. (which is true... I worked my butt off in that relationship!)
So we decided to give it another go. Everyone told me this was a huge mistake and that I should never have taken him back because of what he did to me. (the break up was a bit messier than I described there. :()
But we pressed on anyway. We went to the beach, out for dinner, hiking together and got right back into thigs really quickly. It was that same great feeling all over again. No, I never forgot what he did, but he did seem like he was trying to fix things.
Now here's my problem:
Upong returning to college (our 3rd year), things were fine till about Christmas time when I found out he was talking to his ex a whole bunch. (not the recent ex, the one I said he left for me) She had been sending him suggestive texts on his phone. I knew this because his phone went off when I was sleeping and I checked to see who it was (we both do that, he does it with my phone too).
When I asked him about it he said they just recently got back in contact and that was just how they talk to each other... I told him how that made me feel and he said he would stop.
I got paranoid because the texts didn't stop, and jealousy made me look in his email inbox (I know... bad) but I saw he had been exchanging graphic pictures with her! I was furious! So I told him he's to cut contact with her, or I'm gone. That seemed to hit home because he got real sad and said he wouldn't let that happen over an ex.
I foolishly believed him because I found out that he cheated on me while on Christmas break. (I found out 3 MONTHS LATER... MARCH)
I knew he would see her once over the break and I said I was okay with it (even though I really wasnt) and this is what he did to me. I found out because I took a sexy picture of myself and was going ot set it as his background on his phone and when I went to find the picture I took I saw pics of her naked...
After a long week of arguing he agreed never to talk to her again. I made him delete her off his Facebook, e-mail list, cell phone.. you name it.
He hasn't spoken with her since. Don't ask me why I'm still with him after all that but for some reason I am.
NOW I feel distant from him. Like he's not really trying anymore and I don't know how to fix it. He's got bisexual tendencies so he's been on weird sites like ratemycock.com and a bunch of other adult friend finder type sites. I fear he's looking elsewhere for someone but doesn't want to leave me. He's been talking to this chick he met at the bar (she's got a kid already so I'm not worried about her all that much) and letting her call him hunni and cutie even though I told him it bugs the hell out of me.
He treats me like a best friend... which is cool most of the time, but I want a relationship... I want what we had back. After everything I've forgiven him for, I just don't get it. I don't know what he wants from me. What should I do? I know a lot of you are going to say leave him... I'm just looking for opinions.
Thanks.