I am a father struggling with the fact that my ex is using him to get what she wants. I have always taking care of my son from the day he was born . Infant for the first 3 months of his life it was solely me that was taking care of him. Then my ex decided to move out with was for the best. Then I would take my son over the weekend starting Friday and would have him until Monday. Usually I would end up having him 1 or 2 more days then that at least 2 weeks out of the month. I want working at the time due to having lower back surgery , I returned to work when my son was 6 months . I would still have him over the weekends but could no longer take him during the week due to work. This went on for a few moths gradually I would get him more and more often. Around 9 moths my ex became addicted to pain medications mostly Oxycontin 40 mg. she was taking 3 to for a day I believe she was taking them way before I found out. Around 2 moths later he brother passed away from lung cancer and she finally told me that's where she was getting them. She started to go through withdraws because she could no longer get the pills. That's when it started she would threatening me with taking my son if I didn't give her some of my pain meds from the back surgery. If fear of losing my son I would give them to her. But she would leave him with me for days and not call if she ran out and I didn't have any she would just drop him off. I would have him for weeks sometimes I finally stopped giving them to her when one day I wouldn't and she smashed my microwave and stove. This was around 3 months ago the first week I had my son for 8 days. Then I would have him starting Friday threw Mondays also he would sleep over on Wednesdays . She was supposed to pick him up Monday morning & Thursday morning so I could work she stopped doing this. I found out the reason behind it was she was escorting out of town , and would be gone for 8 to 10 hours a day. And the days I couldn't pick him up she would bring men to her house to have sex with them for money. She now is threatening me that if I don't take him from 2 pm to 7 pm every day I can't see him , and she will go to child support. She is also telling me that I have 2 drop him off on the days he is supposed to spend with me ,because she didn't get him on her days.But yet she doesn't pick him up on the days she is supposed to have him. Not that it maters to me because I would take him whenever I can. It's the fact she thinks she controls my life because of are son. Please help I don't know what to do anymore. I would like to get custody of my son how do I go about it. Please help I am lost and don't know what to do anymore.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by atalostfather

I am a father struggling with the fact that my ex is using him to get what she wants. I have always taking care of my son from the day he was born . infant for the first 3 months of his life it was solely me that was taking care of him. Then my ex decided to move out with was for the best.

---

If you knew there was a problem, after you found you had to take care of him solely, why did you let your ex take the baby out of the home? Why didn't you fight it then? You let her move out 'because it was for the best'. No, I don't think so, atalos. You let her take the baby because it was less stress on you, even knowing it was not a good idea.

Tick

Your wife is addicted to pain pills, and she's an escort who brings men home to have sex for money to support her habit.

May I ask why, under those circumstances, you have not tried to get full custody of your son, with supervised visits for her until she can prove she is fit to care for a one year old?

I really feel sorry for your little son, who does not have a stable, safe environment with his mother.

My advice to you is to get to a lawyer, and see what can be done to ensure his safety, and get him out of her home entirely.

Until she has the capacity to address her problems, your son is in a dangerous position. Please take charge and protect him.

So how many times during all of this have you hired an attorney and filed in court to be the custodial parent ?
That is what you have to do. There is no other way to work this out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tickle

If you knew there was a problem, after you found you had to take care of him solely, why did you let your ex take the baby out of the home? Why didnt you fight it then? You let her move out 'because it was for the best'. No, I dont think so, atalos. You let her take the baby because it was less stress on you, even knowing it was not a good idea.

tick

---

No I tried to keep him she called the cops on me and they made me give him back to her.it was the worst fealing I ever had there was nothing I could do. I told the cops about what she was doing they didn't seam to care. They gave her a ticket for smashing my microwave and that was it then they took my son from me and she left. She threnting me al leats 5 times a week with not letting me see my son , it hurts more then you can imagine, but then she needs to do something and drops him off without warning , and then I have to find a sitter or pay for a sitter. Not to mention it usually makes me lat for work. I would like to go to court 2 get custody of my son I just don't know how to go about doing it. And what happens if I don't win then she will really try to control me with my son. Also the courts are not on the side of the father according to her I'm really not his father because paternity hasn't been established yet. I have tried to keep him but I am afraid I will get in trouble if I do keep him she will call the cops.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

so how many times during all of this have you hired an attorney and filed in court to be the custodial parent ?
That is what you have to do. There is no other way to work this out.

---

I haven't done that yet I was always scared that I wouldn't win , and if I didn't then she really would use him against me. But I have had enough of this and want my son away from her. That's why I am asking for advice or help I don't know how to start or what to do. I can't afford a attorney I am struggling with the bills as it is due to the back surgery. I was off work for a year and a half with no pay. My house is almost in foreclosure and all my bills are past due. But that isn't what is bothering me its her and what she is doing. Is there a way I can do this without a attorney that is a big reason why I haven't talk to one yet no money.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jake2008

Your wife is addicted to pain pills, and she's an escort who brings men home to have sex for money to support her habit.

May I ask why, under those circumstances, you have not tried to get full custody of your son, with supervised visits for her until she can prove she is fit to care for a one year old?

I really feel sorry for your little son, who does not have a stable, safe environment with his mother.

My advice to you is to get to a lawyer, and see what can be done to ensure his safety, and get him out of her home entirely.

Until she has the capacity to address her problems, your son is in a dangerous position. Please take charge and protect him.

---

I am trying I don't have money to pay for a lawyer at the moment. I am trying to get my house out of foreclosure at the moment while keeping the lights on and food for my son. And she isn't my wife she is or was just a girlfriend , that's why I can't just take my son. According to her I have no parental rights to my son. Witch I know is somewhat true I am on his birth certificate.

And how is not going to court working for you now?

You use proof of her drug addiction, proof of her criminal behavior and more.

You use proof that you have raised the child and she has not.

But at worst, you get visitation so you can always see and check on the child

Now that you are back to work, would it be maybe worthwhile checking out a loan with your bank, to consolidate all the bills, and get you back on track again?

If you are stable financially, that would certainly look good, and be a much better place for your son.

Next, consult with legal aid, and see if you don't qualify for some assistance in paying for a lawyer. At least to get the ball rolling.

Speak to people that offer resources through local charities, and/or non-profit organizations who assist families and children in need. You can often get assistance through local shelters, who can at least direct you.

I would think too that any lawyer listening to your story, and knowing that you are getting back on your feet, would cut you some slack. Especially where the welfare of this child is concerned.

I think that once you set your mind to taking control of your life, your finances, and your son, you will find a way if you really want to.

For your son's sake, I hope you do.