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-   -   Both of us are getting bored with the relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=469529)

  • May 8, 2010, 04:45 AM
    samybaby
    Both of us are getting bored with the relationship
    Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for five months now. I swear I love him and I still believe he loves me too because that's what he says and I believe him. The problem is, I think both of us are already bored with what we have. He has already told me that he's already bored with it and I kind of agree with him. This hurts me because I do try my best to communicate with him but sometimes the words don't get out of my mouth. Sometimes he tells me that he feels that it's like a one-sided love because it's always him who tells me what he feels and I never do that. We've also had problems before that we see each other almost everyday and it bores me and him too, so we tried not seeing each other that often now and it worked for a few weeks and not, it feels like both of us are single because we meet more people that way when we're not together. So my question is, what should I or we do to keep our relationship alive?
  • May 8, 2010, 04:53 AM
    artlady

    If you are bored after such a short time,perhaps you and he are just not meant to be together.

    You should still be finding out about one another and enjoying the journey of getting to know each other.

    Perhaps you need to rethink the relationship as it does not sound like a match to me.
    Maybe you would be better off as friends.
  • May 8, 2010, 06:01 AM
    Cat1864

    How old are both of you?
    How long have you known each other?
    How long after you started dating did you 'fall in love'?
    What are your expectations in a relationship?
    How well do you communicate with each other?

    To keep any relationship viable takes all involved parties working on it. While there may be times when one person seems to take the burden of doing most of the work over the course of the relationship it equals out.

    There are many ways to show how much you care about someone besides saying the words such as looks, glances, love notes, remembering small things like the other person's favorite movie or song, etc.

    I will admit that from what you have written I think you both let yourselves get carried away with a new relationship and thought it was more meaningful than it really is. You may be better suited as friends than boyfriend/girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that. It is better to realize it before trying to force a romantic relationship destroys the friendship.

    It is rather common for 'lust'/attraction to be mistaken for love. Love can be developed out of attraction, but it takes time and hard work on the parts of both individuals.
  • May 8, 2010, 11:57 AM
    Devorameira

    Wow - if you're already bored with each other can you imagine how awful it could be in a few years if you'd stay together?

    If you're both that miserable, I think it's time to move on... it's just not meant to be.
  • May 8, 2010, 06:00 PM
    Homegirl 50

    If you're bored with each other, end it.
    You've had had 5 months, that is like trial period. You're either a match or you're not.
    No harm no foul.
  • May 8, 2010, 10:02 PM
    jimseekinadvice

    Bordem can come from spending wayyy too much time together. Perhaps try spending more time apart to hang out with others. This will help keep things interesting.
  • May 8, 2010, 11:55 PM
    Showme_urmove

    Woow five months and honeymoon stage is already over. No hope no matter how hard you both try, your just not compatible for each other, you did your best, give it a hard try but didn't work, just be friends and find someone else. Hope for the best!
  • May 10, 2010, 06:02 AM
    Romefalls19

    Your boat was just a small tour, you need to dock this ship and find a new one. No way should you be bored that quickly into a relationship

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