How do I get him to trust me again?
My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 8 months. We started this relationship on the heels of the untimely death of my previous boyfriend. I have known this man for about 15 years and never knew he had a crush on me when we were children. I have been married twice and have 5 children. All of my previous relationships had some type of Big lie where the man has been cheating, closet bisexual, etc. My current boyfriend and I reconnected at a party at a neighbors house. When we first got together I realized he had a lot of female friends that he used to sleep with. He said they were his best friends. I could not in any way believe that. It took him over a month to tell one girl that he was in a relationship and this was after she called him for money to get her nails done. He said he was afraid to tell her because he waited so long to do so. I was very upset. I really didn't see this going anywhere and on top of all that, he had moved into the house, he wasn't paying any of the bills, putting gas in my car, or helping with the kids. They really didn't respect him in the slightest. He blames me for down talking him in front of them. He was right and I stopped. Now its been 8 months and he just recently looked on a website I have been chatting on to many many men. There was some really vulgar talk between them and myself. One of them was my ex boyfrend from Detroit and I said something about sleeping with him and I also called my current boyfriend a sorry no good man. At the time I was pissed. We agreed that I wouldn't talk to him anymore but I was still chatting with him online (which was wrong). Mind you this has been going on for months on and off. Tlhe vulgar talking part of it was months ago around my 30th birthday that I spent at home, crying, on my porch, with witnesses. He told me I was dramatizing. I still haven't received my gift nor has he taken me out anywhere that doesn't consist of pool shooting or something to do with him making money. When we go to the grocery store he leaves me to talk on the phone. I haven't yet received MY time. My boyfriend thinks that everything we have been through this entire time is a lie. He swears I have been cheating with guys in our town and in various states. I told him that the chat line was something to do and how I'd been telling him I needed some time with him (that I've been asking for our entire relationship and not getting) Don't get me wrong, he is better now than he used to be. (Still no time) I asked him how I would have the chance to cheat when he always has my car and cell phone. He says on my break at work. He picks me up for lunch and drops me off. He tells me that it must be on my 15 minute break. I jokingly said " I hope it lasts longer than that". I did something stupid. I cheated via internet. I apologized and swore it wouldn't happen again, deleted the page, and apologized for lying about talking to my ex. Now every time I don't agree with something he's doing he throws that up in my face. He hints around that I'm a whore and I haven't slept with everyone the entire time we have been going out. What time do I have? You have got to understand, I love this man. I might be wrong but How is it he can point out all of my flaws and not see his own. Sometimes I feel like I should have cheated and is there a way to get the trust back? He says he feels like anyone can have me any time they want and I'm just looking for his replacement. I told him this must be love because I feel like I'm the one whose been cheated. I need advice PLEASE!!