I thought I was a father at the age of 17, at the hospital alone and thought the right thing to do was to sign the birth certificate. After a year of the I was put on child support, never spent any time with the child, she never stayed the weekend with me and as the years progressed, so did the where abouts of the child. Years passed by then I was able to see the child twice before her and her mother went missing again. Three yrs later, I ran into family of the mothers and was told that , the mother had gotten married to a guy in the army, and they were stationed in Germany. Why am I still having to pay child support and I'm not the one in the wrong?

There is no right or wrong,

There is mother and father.

You pay because you were the father of the child and will pay though the court ordered child support agreement thought he court.

You did not see the child because you did not, you did not, it sounds, go to court, get court ordered visits, take her to court when she took off, took her to court when she did not allow vists.

You pay because it was and is the legal thing ( and the moral thing( to do. You don't see the child because you did not fight for that right to do so

Um yes, I agree but I'll put it this way. You can take her to court for custody, or visitations. I would do this if I were you. Also as a parent with legal rights to see the children, she has to get yours and/or the courts permission to move more than (I believe the amount is) 100 miles away. Even in military cases. I suggest looking at your rights here and stop being shafted.

Regardless though you are paying child support plain and simply because you are a father to a child that is souly being raised by his mother. You take no responsibility for the kid and thus you have to compinsate the mother of the child as a way to make up for not doing the primary raising and monitary things yourself. I know it sucks but it is what it is

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Originally Posted by tgverse

I thought i was a father at the age of 17, at the hospital alone and thought the right thing to do was to sign the birth certificate. after a year of the I was put on child support, never spent any time with the child, she never stayed the weekend with me and as the years progressed, so did the where abouts of the child. Years passed by then I was able to see the child twice before her and her mother went missing again. Three yrs later, I ran into family of the mothers and was told that , the mother had gotten married to a guy in the army, and they were stationed in Germany. Why am I still having to pay child support and im not the one in the wrong?

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At what point was support ordered? Why did you never file for visitation or custody of the child?

So yes, you are technically somewhat "in the wrong" because you are not taking the proper steps to ensure that you have a relationship with your child. It is not just the mother's job; you are the other parent. If she is violating a custody/visitation order, then your responsibility is to take her back to court and have them enforce the order.

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Originally Posted by Larken85

um yes, I agree but I'll put it this way. You can take her to court for custody, or visitations. I would do this if I were you. Also as a parent with legal rights to see the children, she has to get yours and/or the courts permission to move more than (I believe the amount is) 100 miles away. Even in military cases. I suggest looking at your rights here and stop being shafted.

Regardless though you are paying child support plain and simply because you are a father to a child that is souly being raised by his mother. You take no responsibility for the kid and thus you have to compinsate the mother of the child as a way to make up for not doing the primary raising and monitary things themself. I know it sucks but it is what it is

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EXCUSE ME? Child support is NOT punishment for a parent who is not taking an active part in supporting a child. The father does NOT have to "compinsate" the mother to make up for the father not doing the primary raising and "monitary" things himself. This doesn't "suck." This is how the law is and this is how the custodial parent feeds, shelters and clothes the child.

Non-custodial parents who see the child on a daily basis and do "monitary" things STILL have to help feed, shelter and clothe the child.

This doesn't "suck" - one of your favorite quasi legal words. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean it's an unfair or unreasonable law.

AGAIN - this is a legal forum. Our answers are based on education, knowledge, research, experience. I have no idea where your advice is coming from but you are clearly wrong and misleading. Please attempt to give correct advice.

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Originally Posted by tgverse

I thought i was a father at the age of 17, at the hospital alone and thought the right thing to do was to sign the birth certificate. after a year of the I was put on child support, never spent any time with the child, she never stayed the weekend with me and as the years progressed, so did the where abouts of the child. Years passed by then I was able to see the child twice before her and her mother went missing again. Three yrs later, I ran into family of the mothers and was told that , the mother had gotten married to a guy in the army, and they were stationed in Germany. Why am I still having to pay child support and im not the one in the wrong?

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As far as right and wrong. That is a matter of opinion. As far as the law you weren't being judged on right or wrong. It was about the child. If you want visitation you can ask for it. But some of the things you have now encumbered yourself with because you waited are going to be exactly how to see the child. If it is true and they are in Germany then your going to have to figure out how to fly the child here. For domestic flights there are programs for children to fly unattended but in this case it is an international flight. So that too will have to be added to the cost. In deciding to see your child you have a long road ahead. And there is going to be some kind of reuniting period so expect that it will be supervised by someone that your child is already familiar with. That will be your get to know you period. You have a lot to sort out but by going to court you can see your child. Just don't expect it to happen by magic.

You said you THOUGHT you were the father. Was there a DNA test? Are you the father? It's no one's fault but yours that you didn't see your child. You lost contact because you never saw the child. You signed the birth certificate. You are paying support because you stated you were the father which makes you financially responsible. Now, if you were interested in finding the child and getting visitation or custody you could do that. Or if there is no attachment you might ask to sign over rights to the step-father. But that doesn't always relieve your responsibility to pay child support.