How to deal with a break up after 4 years
OK everyone so here goes,
My boyfriend and I dated for just under 5 years. We met when I had just finished school I was 18 and am now 23 ans he is 25. We had a great relationship, we hardly ever fought expect for the occasional little disagreement which was usually over something petty. Most of our relationship I lived with him in his parents house as he was not ready to move out of home yet. Actually not ready to move out of his comfort zone. Niether of us ever cheated and we both believed very strongly that a break is nonsense. You either want to be with the person or you don't, so we never had a break in the time we were together. His parents were married for 30 years and jan 2009 his mother decided to leave. Him still being the last child at home I think didn't handle it very well. His perfect family was now not so perfect, it may have even changed his view on relationships. But no matter what we were by each others sides and supported each other through the tough. When we met my parents were getting divorced so yes we both helped each other through these events in our lives.
I could pick up he became a little distant and he got snappy short tempered, but again I thought its his way of dealing with what has happened in his family life. In Jan this year I suggested to him that we go live in the uk for a couple of years take time for us and our relationship get back to how things were before everything in our families made a turn for the not so great. I said we young we have nothing to lose, we can travel and you know at the end of the day if we don't like it we can come back. But at least we can say we tired. So he said yes lets do that, so we decided to pack up sell our stuff and move in with his dad until dec (that is when we decided to leave to uk) it will also alow us to save some extra money until we leave. So yes we did that, we had been in his dads place for 10 days and I went to work one morning. I sent him a text asking does he think in his opinion its possible to fall out of love with someone? I didn't mean anything by it I was just curious to know his opnion. And that was probably a big mistake he texted back saying so much has gne on in his life in the last year that he's not the same person anymore and even though we love each other very much we just not good for each other.
In that instant my heart felt like it had been ripped right out of my chest, I had been stomped on a million times I had to read the text over so many times because I just thought no this is like a really bad dream. I never saw it coming. I went home that day after work and we talked and he said that's how he felt and I asked him we have come so far and been through so much together you don't just give up. And I begged him lets work at it lets get through this together and he just said well what if we try and it doesn't work. And I said then at least we know we tried and didn't just walk away from it.
And then he told me he had been trying and I said that's not fair because how can you try and work on something to fix when the other person is not even aware of how you felt or didn't even know there were issues. I really felt like it was all a bad nightmare. And since then we have almost been apart for a month now.
Its still so hard everyday and I still have hope. He seems to be so strong and sure of what he wants I keep questioniong how can he just not care about what we had and not even try make it work. He just through the towel in. I still had contact with him for a while but the last week I haven't had any contact and he hasn't contacted me.
He is a very stubborn person and I fear that even with time apart if he does feel he wants to be with me he won't say because he's so stubborn.
I've chatted to a lot of people and they have all given me advice such as time heals everything, time changes things, absence makes the heart grow fonder, if its meant to be it will be, there is someone so special out there for me that I just have not met.
But all I want is my ex, we were so great and we truly loved each other. Could it be that he's in a really bad space at the moment and he's confused, could it be what he really does want.
Do most guys at the time think it's the right decision and later realise it was a mistake they made, is it possible to fall back in love with someone when uve fallen out of love?
Please help any advice will be great :)
What does he mean by I love you but I'm not in love with u?
Threads merged
How do u deal with a break up which ended with the following reason
We want different things, when he tells you he loves you but he is not in love with you anymore.
Is it possible for him to be over you very quickly?