Is it considered rude to suggest family members to stay at a hotel when they come to your state for a visit? My husband and I live near a "tourist-y" city. We both work full time jobs with long hours. His brother mentioned he would like to visit soon when their boys get a bit older. I unfortunately do not feel comfortable leaving my home unattended with the sister-in-law as she chooses not to watch her kids and is disrespectful towards my husband and myself. My husband and I were just recently married and she bragged to our guests how she loves coming to these events because she gets a break from watching her kids. Her husband advised us they actually got into an argument due to her carefree attitude at our wedding because he stepped up to the plate a few months ago when her sister was married and he took care of the kids. As much as I would like to spend some quality time with our nephews, as well as the brother and SIL (if possible), I do not feel compelled to open our home to them. We can still spend time with them despite them not staying with us. Am I being unreasonable? I just don't want to put us into an uncomfortable situation, especially when we have been taken advantage by them in the past. Thank you in advance for your comments and opinions!

I believe that you should do what makes your husband and yourself comfortable. If they do not stay at your house, I would make a point to take them to dinner, do something fun with the kids, and/or perhaps have your SIL and brother over for drinks. This way it does not seem like you do not want to see them, which I know is not the case.

You are NOT being rude.

It is YOUR home, not hers.

When they come, meet them, but don't let them stat with you.

And I wouldn't blame you either….brother, SIL, kids, house will get small, especially if you don't truest the SIL to watch out for your personal possessions.