My stepdad has cancer and is in the hospital. They want to send him home but my Mother does not want him to come home because she says she has to work. She is being very mean about this and acts like she wants him to die. What can we do?

Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!

Do you think she might not be being mean, she might just want him to have the best care that he can get. At home, he won't get that because she will be at work. Perhaps she doesn't have the funds to provide a caregiver. How old are you? What does stepdad think about staying in the hospital?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!

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We are all in our 50's and we have offered to help and she doesn't want that at all. She said you take him home.

I don't understand, she says to take him home but doesn't want help?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Clough
Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dmhathig

We are all in our 50's and we have offered to help and she doesn't want that at all. She said you take him home.

---

Would you and others be able to take him home as well as care for him?

Also, is your stepdad able to have a say in all of this?

Thanks!

Is your stepfather terminal or just in the process of recovering from cancer surgery?

If he's being sent home to die, perhaps your mom just feels overwhelmed and doesn't think she can face losing him.

Sometimes people do get angry at a person for dying and leaving them alone.

How has their relationship been before his illness? I had a friend who fought feeling this way himself when his father was dying because his dad had mistreated him all his life. My friend felt that care-taking was a very intimate thing that required a level of mutual caring and respect, and he didn't feel either of these things for his father, nor ever from his father.

Another possibility is that your mother feels it's too much responsibility and she is not prepared to handle it. Perhaps you or a sibling should bring him home with you.

A third potential is that your mother has problems of her own, either medical or psychological. If she's elderly, consider that perhaps her medical needs are greater than you might be aware.

There is no reason to feel bad in here ;), I know the feeling of your mother she is just worried ,

Well my father was dying in the hospital, and we were all around him, but '" subhana allla"' we never felt worried so did he because we all had great faith in god '' alla ''..

When he passed , it was all calm, we all felt sad for the big loss, but we know he is still alive with god '' alla'' so we still pray that he is in a better place inshala ;).
Never lose faith .

If you need help: >Removed<

You are spamming the board and posting your email address - PLEASE STOP.

I am suggesting that your account be suspended if you cannot follow the rules.

Sorry judykaytee, I didn't know that emails aren't supposed to be posted, I hate breaking the rules so thanks .

To keep yourself out of AMHD trouble I would suggest you read all the rules - we've all been new here, made mistakes, learned and moved on, me included.