OK so we have been going out for almost 8 months. At first she would always get mad at me for like flirting with girls and talking with girls she thought that I had some chemistry with. So I decided to stop talking to them for her because she couldn't take me talking to them. So when she was talking to guys that she used to have things with, I told her I didn't like it because I expected her to stop talking to guys she had a thing with like I did.

We both stopped talking to guys or girls but recently she has been given me less affection and like not wanting to be as close to me as we had always done and she has been saying I love you less. Also recently, she has been saying she wants her old life back and a break for a week. She also want talking to the guys she kind of had things with again. She has also said that I have been too clingy and not letting her be with her friends and talk with guys again. I want her to hang out with her friends more but I just don't want her to talk with those guys again. Its just I think she made me not talk to the girls and then I realized I was fine with it, and she had done the same, but now she wants to talk with them again. And like after a couple arguments she like wants to talk to them again. I don't know what to do.

OK here's the thing. If you don't want her talking to other guys, then you are a jealous controlling man. But if she is doing the same to you, than maybe you both aren't ready for a relationship. Because if you trust and love the one you are with, it doesn't matter who you talk to as long as you are coming together after and its still that person you love, then it doesn't matter. I have been with my fiancé a year and so far he has talked and flirted with girls, and I do the same, the way I see it is that I have him and he has me and that it kind of makes us proud that the other is getting flirted with, because we know we have what others want. Calm down a bit and take that break, maybe she will see that she wants you. Or you can propose lol just kidding that would be way too clingy

Humans are social creatures.

Prison wardens stopped putting people in solitary confinement ( or at least toned down the use of solitary confinement), because people go insane when they are deprived from contact with other people. By only being intimate and flirty with each other, you probably feel like "tired" of the same old, same old. Perhaps you need something to spice up both of your lives, to get out there together and have some fun around other people. You've been in a relationship for 8 months so your obviously want a relationship and feel that you love this person. I agree with what serenity said, I think that you shouldn't worry about talking and flirting with other people, as long as you're faithful to each other.

Wow, I should be arrested by the grammar police. I forgot to re-read that before I posted it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Carl17

Humans are social creatures.

Prison wardens stopped putting people in solitary confinement ( or atleast toned down the use of solitary confinement), because people go insane when they are deprived from contact with other people. By only being intimate and flirty with eachother, you probably feel like "tired" of the same old, same old. Perhaps you need something to spice up both of your lives, to get out there together and have some fun around other people. You've been in a relationship for 8 months so your obviously want a relationship and feel that you love this person. I agree with what serenity said, I think that you shouldn't worry about talking and flirting with other people, as long as you're faithful to eachother.

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Thanks

In a healthy relationship you trust each other - you just know that person won't cheat on you or do anything to jeopardize the relationship.

Really doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship at all. Sounds like grade school antics.

It's time to trust one another OR move on.

Not good that your playing those insecurity games this early into things.

If your worried about others coming between you and your partner then what the heck are you with them for? If you need all these rules and regulations for each other then you don't have a healthy relationship to begin with, so why waste time?

Is this even a relationship? It sounds more like two people who are putting up with the other, but really don't have any intention of being serious.

A woman wants a strong man, and a guy demanding she not talk to other people is not someone who is strong. On the flip side, a woman's should (and if she is really into him, will) respect her man, and your girlfriend shows you no respect by talking to the other guys. She also clearly wants distance because she wants a break. A break is a break up but is her easy way of putting you on the back burner in case something goes wrong with the other guys.

This "relationship" is not based in anything with strength such as trust, love, or understanding, but rather you're here now so I'll put up with some of it to an extent. That's not a relationship and it's not a recipe for something to grow on.

Man I'm in the same boat. My girlfriend of a year and a half just said she wanted to take a break. She said a few weeks or a month or two. I didn't know what to think, maybe she was laying me down easy. She always said I was too clingy, then sometimes would tell me she loved how clingy I was. That confused me even more. She also said she wanted her old life back too. We talked about it, we agreed to take a break and if anyone asked we said its complicated. Bottom line is, you have to trust her with not hurting you. If you love each other things will work themselves out. She wants to see her friends in which one or two of them she has previously dated, we've been together long enough, and you just got to let her do what she wants to do because in the end she will be back with you.