I've been in a relationship with this girl for 8 months before we broke up. Just a month before we did, I came across my long-lost 7 years church member (we never talked), and we got in a chat. Then we started texting frequently and it eventually got mushy. I denied the fact that I had a girlfriend when she asked if I was single. My girlfriend sensed the awkwardness of my character and she found out about it through my text messages, yet she remained calm. She did not blow tantrums, instead she threw the ball at me; giving me the choice to catch it or to let it go. At first I broke down crying and apologizing, she accepted me. But I still continued texting the newbie. Finally after a couple of weeks we broke up, and it ended with me pouring out what I felt and thought about myself, and that she deserved better. She told me she was sorry she couldn't be there for me after this, and she wished I fought for our louve. It hurt me more to know how supporting she was. Story over.

Now it's almost a month gone by, and I sort of got into a relationship with the newbie. But my heart still aches every time I think about my 8 month long girlfriend, and the strong urge to get back with her. I finally decided to, but at the same time it's a little difficult to let the newbie go.
My ex and I were really easy; she is the best for me. I know that. We share secrets, we even exchanged phones. Being with her makes time fly. I was very stable with her; no way had we predicted this outcome. But after what happened, I still feel very much vulnerable and insecure that I keep going back and forth.
I yearn for my ex, but every time I decide to cut it off with the current one, I tend to linger on.

You said yourself that your ex deserves better... so, you need to just move on with your life and let her get the better that she deserves. Of course you yearn for her, it seems as though she was a great girl, but you took advantage of that. The best thing you can do, is let her meet someone that won't do that... learn from your mistake and make sure you don't do it to the next girl.

Your ex probably doesn't want anything to do with you now, so maybe you need to just stay gone.

I was in your shoes before man, I'm guessing why you had a thing for the newbie is because the relationship you had kind of got a little doll, boring, easing, you want to have some thrill, that's how I felt. The only you can do now is break if of with the new girl and stay single. Its unfair for her that you still have feeling for your ex and it would be unfair for your ex if you try going back out with her. You need some time alone for yourself and really think what is it that you really want.

You seem to not be ready to settle down in a relationship.

The way you got involved with B while you were with A speaks volumes for where your mind was at the time. It wasn't on being in a committed relationship. It sounds like you didn't hesitate in telling B that you were available. You lied to both women. A figured it out and ultimately made a decision. I wonder if you ever told B about A. She deserves to make the same informed decision that A made or for you to come clean and break things off.

So far, you seem to be thinking of yourself and not the women you get involved with. It tells me that you are thinking more like a single person dating rather than one half of a partnership. You feel insecure and vulnerable because you aren't fully involving yourself in the relationship. You're looking for something new, better, different, spicier, etc. Until you find it inside yourself to build those qualities in the relationship you are in, you need to stick to dating without emotional strings attached.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Three way relationships don't happen by accident. The choice you made, even after your ex forgave you, to carry on with the second woman, pretty much sealed your fate.

While you may have lost your ex, you can still determine your future. Take all the good qualities she had, and along with that, all the things that made you compatible in the first place, including your own attributes.

While you are still not over your ex, you aren't doing the second woman any favours by leading her on. Your ex may not be physically in the picture, but you are still emotionally attached to her, and that makes in impossible to give yourself freely without baggage to this new girl.

For your sake, I hope you take a breather. Take time to reflect on the past, and how to come to terms with it before you get yourself exclusively involved with someone else.

Hm a note though * I did tell the newbie about my ex, and how I left the latter since the time I got along with her.

Anyhow, today the newbie kissed another man, her friend. She said it was a mistake, the guy just broke up they got all sensitive and it happened.

I don't deny that I'm hurt, and it all seems like an act of karma.

It's hard to think how to go on the next few days without feeling all cooked up in the inside.

In all the years I have been with one man, I can't think of a single time that I got 'all sensitive' and kissed another man.

Why don't you take a breather, and not be involved for a couple of weeks. Take some time for yourself and clear your head.

Think about your life and how much of it is tangled up with either what you can't have, or what might be rebound behaviour toward another.

Might be time for a little break from relationships entirely.

You wanted to be a player, so go play. You are not ready for any relationship as long as you can bounce around so easily. The bad part is you had fun until your game got called and NOW you feel bad. To bad. You can do better if you want to, but it may mean doing what you don't want to.

Staying out of any relationship until you can get your act together. The newbie will never trust you either.

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Anyhow, today the newbie kissed another man, her friend. She said it was a mistake, the guy just broke up they got all sensitive and it happened.

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She got all sensitive? Yeah, right. Teaching you a lesson is more like it. More to come.