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-   -   How do I get your dad to treat me nicer? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=465558)

  • Apr 18, 2010, 08:18 PM
    evap57
    How do I get your dad to treat me nicer?
    My name is Eva and I am 11.
    My dad always acts like he like my brother, Michael better than me.
    For example, he buys me an old secondhand computer desk for my new room and I don't even get to choose what desk I want and now him and michael are looking for a NEW desk for michael and michael gets to choose! UNFAIR!! :mad:
    The other day my mum bought a new computer chair and she didn't want to set it up YET and I asked her if I can set it up the on next day. She promised me that I could and today while she's at work my dad told michael to set it up while I do the dishes! I told him that mum promised that I could set it up and guess what he said,
    "IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD, I'LL WIP YOU ACROSS YOUR A*S!
    NOW DO THE DISHES!"

    And now I locked myself in my room and they've gone out to get michael a haircut without even telling me!
    I'm home alone! ILLEGAL! I'm only 11!
    I want to get adopted but I still want my mum.
    But sometimes she says, "I could kill you!!"

    I HATE MY DAD FOREVER!
    So pleaaassseee help me!!
  • Apr 18, 2010, 08:34 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Wow, that's pretty tough! Have you tried talking to your parents about the way you feel? If you can't talk to them, what about another family member? You need to approach it in a mature manner, with out telling them that you hate your father.

    Start by telling them how it hurt your feelings when they leave you alone, or promise that you can do things and then don't follow through with that.

    It may be hard, but try to leave your anger and resentment at the door.
    So did they explain to you why your brother got to choose his and you didn't? Do you think you may have gotten something better another time?
  • Apr 18, 2010, 09:27 PM
    Kitkat22
    I am so sorry for what you're going through! You need to sit both of them down and tell them exactly how you feel. I'm sure they love you. Do you have counselor at your school? If so then talk to them!


    Maybe a favorite teacher... Sweetie just hang in there and I'm sure your parents will listen if you ask them too. Parents say things to kids sometimes that they don't really mean so don't take it to heart.

    We'll all be here if you need to talk.. Okay? Blessings little one:)
  • Apr 19, 2010, 01:58 PM
    dontknownuthin

    Sorry you feel so frustrated. Sometimes parents don't treat their kids the same, and sometimes treating kids the same doesn't really work anyway. When they are different ages, ones a boy the other a girl, well - what's best for one kid may not be best for another kid.

    Perhaps they feel that your brother's need for the right kind of desk is more important right now than yours. Is he older than you? Does he have more homework? Would the desk they found for you have worked properly for him, or were there other considerations?

    As for putting the chair together, it could be they just aren't confident of what you can do. Sometimes it takes us parents a while to catch up to how capable our kids have become and how much they've grown in their abilities. And they may view assembing a chair as a chore, not so much a "fun activity", so assigned dishes to you, chair assembly to your brother.

    I would suggest that you talk to your parents when you are not angry about your feelings that they don't respect what you are capable of doing, and that you sometimes feel like you are second best in the family. You have to be willing to really listen and be open to truly accepting what they have to say to you.

    Parents make tons of mistakes because we are human, but with a few crazy exceptions, we don't want our kids to feel that we don't love them or that we like them less than their sibings - I think your parents should get a chance to set things right, so talk to them.
  • Apr 19, 2010, 01:59 PM
    Kitkat22

    Let us know how things are going...
  • Apr 19, 2010, 03:21 PM
    cdad

    How old is your brother? Usually relationships are not just sex based ( boy / girl ) they also have to do with the ages of the children. You have stated your age. But if he is older then they are going to treat him different no matter what. Plus he will always be "first". What type of relationship do you have with your brother? That also has a bearing on how you might be treated.

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