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-   -   Not being allowed phone contact with my child by ex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=465469)

  • Apr 18, 2010, 12:31 PM
    Inhell
    Not being allowed phone contact with my child by ex
    My ex is not allowing me to say goodnight to my five year old who he has just been given provisional custody of as he has told lots of lies to the french court and the judge deemed it fit to send him back to an abuser because I do not have any proof to hand.
    I tried to have telephone contact to say goodnight and I was told no I'm too busy and I can do what I like now.

    What can I do as this judge has only given me 2 hours contact in a centre once a week after having been in my sons life for most of his five years.

    How can I get people to see what this man is?
  • Apr 18, 2010, 12:44 PM
    JudyKayTee

    I assume you are in France - ? Might be a stupid question but you never know.

    Get PROOF of what you have posted here concerning the father's abuse and ask for another hearing.

    How did you end up with two hours total contact a week? What was the proof against you and also the proof against him?

    If the order does NOT address telephone contact it may not be allowed - at least not here in the US - particularly if the contact upsets the child.
  • Apr 19, 2010, 01:45 AM
    Inhell
    Hi yes I am in France it is nigh on impossible for me to get any evidence and proof as I keep telling them here because we lived in rural france and had no neighbours
    Also my family know of this man but because they are angry with me for emigrating still today after four plus years and taking their baby brother away from them they do not want to help me by doing statements etc
    So I really on my own on this one
    My mum has helped but no one does anything in the correct format so I doubt the statements will be used
    My son knows what his father is but they haven't spoken to him as yet but put him back with his father for the second time so that he is influenced by being with him and won't speak out whereas when he was with me he did tell people around him
    Its an impossible task
    There was a sexual assault on me over xmas but I am still waiting for the police reports
    As he clearly denied it
    I asked for help by the doctor but they just said nothing about the sexual abuse in the report they submitted and even suggested it was my behaviour that was causing my sons behavioural problems even though I know it is the pattern of abuse he has suffered from the age of 2 to now.
    I took (abducted) so I have been accused of twice once in france and once in england to flee the abuse but as no proof as such then they don't believe me so that is why I have only just 2 hours a week
    I need to be in my sons life as I have been given little to no legal advice since last June and also no active solicitor
    I used so much thousands of my pounds in england fightting this alleged abduction I have no spare money now to get an expert avocat so only get the raw end of the law deal
    I've only ever loved my child for all his life and anyone would think with this harsh treatment I had murdered someone
    Might as well have put me in prison
    The ex has made me out to be a mental unstable person just because I suffer with depression is it any wonder living in this illegal country.
    Any advice welcome

    Inhell
  • Apr 19, 2010, 04:13 AM
    ScottGem

    You were sexually assaulted by him 4 months ago and you still don't have police reports? I can understand rural police working more slowly, but that's ridiculous.

    On the other hand, you apparently defied the law by abducting the child instead of fighting the abuse illegally. That put you in a poor situation to fight for custody.

    The first thing I would do, is push for that police report and push for prosecution of the assault. That would seem to be the best way to change custody.
  • Apr 19, 2010, 04:37 AM
    Inhell

    No I suffered a sexual assault from him on christmas day last year and interviewed him but of course he denied it
    I am still waiting there notes made and a copy of the video that I sat for two hours through to explain all the abuse that I and my child have suffered but they said that had not received it so sent another fax
    The trouble is because to them it is not a rape case the cps won't be prepared to take the matter to court so all it has done is add fuel to his accusations that I am a nutter from hell who takes her kid for no reason away from an abusive situation
    The main reason is has provisional custody is because I have not had the benefit of time and legal advice since this all began last June in France then again at christmas in England
    I have not been listened to by the judge as she insisted that I did not need the whole proceedings for three times now translating so not had a chance to respond to anything
    I am seeking to fight this injustice at present
    But this is clearly domestic abuser versus a helpless woman and child
    Because he has lied to the judge the police and to his child
    He has used and is still using my awful life against me and I am traumatised by the taking again of my son back to his father in rural france by this bent judge

    Please reply if you have any thing to add
  • Apr 19, 2010, 05:43 AM
    JudyKayTee

    Without NEW PROOF that the father is abusive and a danger to the son (emotionally or physically) there is nothing you can do.

    Apparently you have both testified and the Judge has believed him. In order to change that you need proof - and you need to do whatever it takes to get that proof.

    I suspect that your decision to flee with the child is costing you dearly.

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