Ask Me Help Desk - Do I have a chance with my ex after I broke all the rules

Do I have a chance with my ex after I broke all the rules

3 months ago my ex of only a few months broke up with me over something I said and she took it the wrong way. Ill admit I broke basically every rule when it comes to trying to get them back. I text nonstop, called, begged, cried. You name a way that you can do it bad and I did it. Finally about 6w ago we had our final falling out. She told people I was psycho and stuff like that and immediately started dating another guy. Well last week a mutual friend told me recently she has been talking about me a lot, talking about how great I treated and all the fun times we had together. I hadn't inniciated any contact whatsoever since she started with the new guy and she starts messaging me wanting to be friends. We now casually chat. Just wondering if you all think she may be missing me or wanting me back.

You begged and cried over a three month relationship loss? Dude, get a grip. That's 90 days! What are you going to do for a three YEAR loss? Cut an ear off?

I think when she called you a "psycho" the damage was done.

You should move on. Good luck next time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

You begged and cried over a three month relationship loss? Dude, get a grip. That's 90 days! what are you going to do for a three YEAR loss? Cut an ear off?

I think when she called you a "psycho" the damage was done.

You should move on. Good luck next time.

I fell in love with her and her son both and it was the best 3 months of my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by efeezell

I fell in love with her and her son both and it was the best 3 months of my life.

That's not love, that's the honeymoon period with a combination of obsession!

Quote:

Originally Posted by efeezell

I fell in love with her and her son both and it was the best 3 months of my life.

Do you care to share what it was that was misinterpreted by her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Do you care to share what it was that was misinterpreted by her?

While I was playing with her son I told him "someday i would like to be your dad, since no one else does" his father has never seen him or had anything to do with him. I meant it that I loved him enough to take the responsibility and she took the worst possible way. She didn't say anything until 2 days later when she broek up with me

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarrotTalker

That's not love, that's the honeymoon period with a combination of obsession!

We still were in the honeymoon period, but I have dated a lot of woman and I truly believe she was the one

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

You begged and cried over a three month relationship loss? Dude, get a grip. That's 90 days! what are you going to do for a three YEAR loss? Cut an ear off?

I think when she called you a "psycho" the damage was done.

You should move on. Good luck next time.

She has apologized for the psycho thing

I think you both sound a little odd to me.

You broke up three months ago, with a woman who has a child, after being together only 2 months. She immediately hopped into another relationship with another man.

There is nothing harmless and 'casual' about mixing it up with her. You were way over the top after the breakup for starters, and she is now leading you on thinking you may have a chance again.

Please consider the child. It was inappropriate to tell the child that you'd like to be his daddy someday, after dating his mother only 2 months. In my opinion, that shows immaturity. Saying you were in love with her, and her child after such a short time, also shows immaturity. That was not love. You may need to be loved, and thought you were loved, but you weren't.

While you may have had rose coloured glasses on, but they blurred your vision; that she would split after a mere misunderstanding, shows there was no real connection there.

A relationship doesn't start as love- love grows from starting with a friendship, a courtship, getting to know each other, being realistic about life's goals, knowing what kind of person they truly are, what kind of parenting philosophies they may have, who their families are, friends are, what is their track record for relationships, do they drink too much, how do they manage their finances, or are they up to their ears in debt.

You need to know the good, the bad, and the ugly of a person, up front and truthful as a relationship develops in order to know what you are getting yourself into.

Stepping into a relationship that involves a child in the mix, requires even more foresight and more understanding. Children aren't fashion accessories, they are human beings and your influence over her son is a major consideration on his development and well being.

It is up to you to further another stab at a relationship. If you decide to, evaluate your priorities, learn all you can at a slow pace, be honest with yourself, and whatever you do, don't lead her child on thinking that you are going to be his father in the process.

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She broke up with you over a comment she chose to misunderstand,then,hey presto,is dating somebody else very quickly

And in my opinion,I hope she keeps her romantic interests separate from her child in future,if she plans on chopping and changing partners often.

A child needs stability,not a number of potential fatherfigures coming and then leaving .

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You crashed and burned with this one.

Let it go and move on with your life.

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I agree with JMJ about getting a grip and with Jake's comments about actually putting some thought into how you behave in your relationships (had to spread the rep guys!).

I'm not sure if you should pursue this woman because I'm not sure if the same situation wouldn't repeat itself. Neither of you sound very sensible or capable of self control so it might just be the same old drama all over again.

In any case, she's with someone else now - which lets you off the hook - but I think you should back off.

I'll have to agree with Jake2008 and Amicon on this one. They both gave some great advice.

And I would also agree with Gemini54 about the situation repeating itself. Once you keep giving back into her after you begged and pleaded, and she ignored you and called you a psycho, she might start to think she can just do whatever she wants and treat you in any way she wants, and dump you time and time again, just to have you begging for more. Because she will know she can. You need to watch out for that. That is something that you could end up going through for a very long time, and all the while, you will be put on an emotional rollercoaster that will do nothing but deteriorate who and what you are.
I think you should leave this one alone before it gets worse for you.
And think about it, if she really loved you to begin with, would she have broken up with you over something so silly as what you said? And especially moved right on to another guy? I think not.