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-   -   Sleeping with my ex but didn't know he had married! Why is he still pursuing me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=465182)

  • Apr 17, 2010, 01:39 AM
    scotishgodess
    Sleeping with my ex but didn't know he had married! Why is he still pursuing me?
    After ending our relationship we continued making love all this time. Recently he has been trying to arrange a romantic encounter. I knew he was in a relationship w/the girl he cheated on me with,but he never talks about her. I had 2 tell him they were living together. We have an intense chemical sexual relationship. We had sexual trysts for a couple years. Before I made plans this time I searched a database & discovered he has been married for a couple yrs, and he even spent allnight holding me less then a week B4 his 1st anniversary. He has said that he never wants to end our sexual relationship. When we're together he even uses the "L"word. He always said he never wanted to marry so I never thought. Now that I know I am confused if he is married why does he still want me 4 & what does he plan on doing in the future w/me. I need men's advice? I know I am 10yrs younger but that's no reason for him to want access to me forever after he is married. I don't know why he is doing this. When we are together it is very loving,gentle,and romantic. When we talk he is sweet,friendlike,and helpful with good advice. What is a married man behaving this way 4?
  • Apr 17, 2010, 02:15 AM
    Gemini54
    He's behaving like this because he's a cheater and a liar.
    He's behaving like this because he can have a bit on the side.
    He's behaving like this because he's dishonest.
    He's behaving like this because you allow it.

    He's married to someone else, he's not married to you is he? So sadly, you can't mean that much to him, regardless of what he says.

    The question is what do YOU plan to do with YOUR future now that you know he's a liar and a cheat, and are you going to continue to be part of it?

    Start behaving with some integrity, I would suggest, and kick this guy to the curb.
  • Apr 17, 2010, 02:55 AM
    amicon

    So you've discovered he is a firstclass player,and a cheating liar.

    He does this because he can get away with it.

    Have nothing more to do with him.
  • Apr 17, 2010, 04:35 AM
    Devorameira

    He has sex with you because you let him, not because he loves you. He's a married man and you are just his "mistress" on the side.

    He's lied to you, cheated on you, and cheated with you. You need to put an end to this relationship NOW.
  • Apr 17, 2010, 06:01 AM
    Cat1864

    The question isn't what are his intentions, but what are yours?

    You have been letting him use you for sex since the relationship officially ended. You even admit that you knew he, at the very least, had a girlfriend while he was still playing games with you. The wife really doesn't change anything other than to show just how much of a jerk he is.

    You have been using him for sex and companionship. How long did you intend to keep playing games with him? Have you thought about what you want in a 'real' relationship? Have you thought about finding someone you want to spend your life with?

    After he cheated on you and the 'official' relationship ended, you should have ended everything with him right then and there. You should have respected yourself enough to let yourself heal and move on from someone you knew is a cheater. When you found out he was seeing another woman, you should have walked away. Somehow, I think you have been enjoying knowing that he was cheating on 'the other woman' with you-a bit of payback. Now, you know he is married, do what you should have done before. Let him go. Heal. Live your own life. Find someone who is free to be in a relationship with you.
  • Apr 17, 2010, 06:54 AM
    jmjoseph

    You are still "woman #2". He says things that make you want to disrobe.

    Stop letting him use you like a sex toy.

    Have some self respect, and move on.

    Who cares about WHY he does things?

    The question is WHEN are you going to stop being the other woman?
  • Apr 17, 2010, 09:32 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    What is a married man behaving this way 4?
    To keep you having sex, and that's all he wants from you forever.

    Quote:

    He has said that he never wants to end our sexual relationship.
    What part of that is confusing you? Seems really clear to me.

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