Here's my story.. so unique and so similar to all sad love stories...
I was in relationship with a man who is younger than me.. I'm in my 40's and he's in his 30's. First 2 years we were just friends (with romantic feelings) and after that 4 years together.. until Monday.we fought a lot in past 3 or 4 months... almost about everything.. and he broke up 2times but we made up same day... and now it's final. He says he loves me but can't go on anymore, he doesn't see the point of continuing something it doesn't work.. he is miserable just as I am.. but he doesn't want to be with me anymore... and I'm devastated.. I don't know what to do. I just want the pain to stop and I think I'm not going to make it... I tried not to contact with him, but in wednsday we texted all afternoon... and he is determinant not to be with me... I sugested a pause... time out.. but he said -no point... he said his heart was bleeding too but that was the best for both of us.
Now it's Friday... I'm in NC again, day 2... and I... hope.. he will call... :(
.. and my question is... of course... will the pain ever stop? He was my everything.. and.. sad but true.. I've never been so deeply in love... in fact.. I never loved before him.

Its sad and of course painful,but that pattern of breaking up,then trying again-without resolving your issues is not healthy.

You really should go no contact proper.

You are prolonging your own suffering by staying in touch.

You need to allow yourself time to heal,and,yes,that will take time.

Be with friends and family,make plans for your day,your week and keep busy.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

Be patient with yourself and take care.

Of course the pain will stop.

Much as you don't like it, it's a natural part of grieving the loss of someone you love. It hurts when you accidentally burn or hit yourself doesn't it? But the pain eventually stops.

Try to see this experience like a terrible wound. It hurst like hell, but it will heal if you look after yourself.

It takes time and you've got to give it time. You will love again, even though it seems as if you never will.

I know you're in a tremendous amount of pain right now, but you just have to accept the fact that your relationship is over and start making the effort to move on.

Healing doesn't take place overnight. Sometimes it takes months, but I promise you that it will get easier everyday.

You've got to go full NC to get over him. Don't call him, accept any calls from him, text, see or e-mail him. It's the only way to heal.

The pain stop once you leave him alone, and heal properly, and start rebuilding your life without him in it.

I'm really sorry to hear about your break-up Heart_Line. I'm still in the healing process myself, but in my experience; yes, it does get easier. Like everyone has been saying, you really have to go NC, hard as it is. Spend as much time with friends and family as possible, and let them know that you need some support. Try to have something to look forward to everyday, even if it's just a small thing.

Check out the NC related threads in my signature so that you can do NC properly. You are torturing yourself by staying in contact.

It's very hard to breakup with someone you care about, it seemed the relationship was going downhill. You must of expected it. Time heals everything. You just have to keep yourself busy, as hard as it is. He told you he didn't think things would work, and it was best for the both of you. There is nothing you can do to change things, It is was it is, at this point. Sad but it happens to all of us. We learn from our mistakes and hopefully you don't carry them into the next relationship. Just say strong and if you have to vent, vent to us, don't call him or text him. It just makes it worse in the long run. Good luck.

All of us in this site had experience a heart break some like me once and others more then once, they were all in our shoes thinking that we can't move on and life has no reason without that person in our life. But life is to good to think your only happiness is to be with that person, we let our emotion control our judgement's and thoughts and that's what makes it hard for us to move on and heal. We tell our self that we can't face tomorrow without that person in our life. Initiating NO CONTACT in the beginning is going to be torture, but you need to establish self control so you can oven come the bumps in the road and eventually start seeing the sunlight in your life again. Like what they said, its not going to be overnight, its going to take time, in your case many months or even a year but know that each day gets easier and easier and the pain you feel eventually dies down and disappear. Be strong and know that its better to love and not have love at all.

Thank you all for your support... of course, hope dies last... so I spent last week hoping he would change his mind... and I broke nc again in Friday.. we talked almost an hour in relaxed maner.. with lot of laugh... and he wanted to see me.. so we did it in Saturday... and he hugged me and talk about what happened last week.. and he kept saying he missed me... even cried... but.. he didn't want to kiss me :(.. he said.. sorry... I can't go back.. sorry... and that was pretty much it.. . (except the part of me crying again and accusing him of being cruel and then apologizing and leaving and then coming back again and all over again... )
So... after 3 hours of wich last one and a half was pretty ugly... I yelled at him to go away.. he tried to kiss me in hair but I pulled back... and that was it.
He won't change his mind. And I don't want to think he will.
I'm calm now... (I think I cried all my tears when I was with him in saturday) and I hope I will be calm.. forever :)
I packed all the stuff he gave me... deleted his number.. his email... changed the number of my cell (I started to use my old number again)... and I hope eventually my heart will heal.

Now you are doing all the right things.

You WILL heal,with time and patience.

Keep NC.

Take good care of yourself.

Hi heartline. Even though Im a lot less experienced in life as you, and you might think Im still a kid, Im in the same boat as you. (If you read my thread you'll understand). While I am not 100% over my ex or even close to it, I can say that it does get better. It has been almost 3 weeks since my ex asked for a "break." This might sound mean, but I'm happy that your ex didn't allow for a break, because this only leads to false hope. I wish my ex had to the guts to do what your ex did, and that's tell you straight up that its over. This allows you to start healing right away, while I have to wait to properly start healing. Even though I know its over and she isn't coming back, I know deep in my heart there is still hope that she will. You said it best, hope dies last. And even though I don't think of her all day like I use to, I know that when this break turns into a breakup, Im going to be back at square one. You are very lucky in a very unlucky situation. Breakups suck (this is the first true love I had also), but I know you will heal faster than me even though I got dumped before you did.

Yesterday I accidentally ran into him on the street.. I was... stunned. I tried to be cool... he asked me how am I... I said.. OK... and then he said some stupid thing like.. hey.. smile... you didn't see the devil... and I just turned and left.
..
Then I did something foolish... I texted him saying I was confused... he didn't text me back, of course. So I vent to his home and trow the book he gave me and wich I carried with me all the time until he broke up with me (love poetry, To my true love) in his front yard. No one saw me...
...
Oh, I'm so mad at myself... why can't I let go? Yes, I'm better now then a week ago.. but still... I wish I could simply forget everything about him :(

Give yourself time and stay no contact.

And don't go anywhere near his home in future.

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Originally Posted by heart_line

yesterday I accidentaly ran into him on the street.. I was...stunned. i tried to be cool... he asked me how am i... i said.. ok... and then he said some stupid thing like.. hey.. smile... you didn't see the devil... and I just turned and left.
..
then i did something foolish... i texted him saying I was confused... he didn't text me back, of course. so I vent to his home and trow the book he gave me and wich I carried with me all the time until he broke up with me (love poetry, To my true love) in his front yard. no one saw me...
....
oh, I'm so mad at my self..... why can't I let go? yes, I'm better now then a week ago.. but still... I wish I could simply forget everything about him :(

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Don't beat yourself with it, everybody broke NC when they started up with it in the beginning. The cold hard truth is perhaps you will never forget about him but the key is to come to accept it and be in peace with it and be happy and move on. Stop breaking NC now, and stop texting him forever andy a just move on with your life. Do the things you love and time will pass you by and before you know it you ll be over him and meet someone new.

Best wishes.

Heart line you make the mistake of contacting him after you ran into him. We all have done it! But, your back to square one, again. Throwing the book on the lawn isn't going to accomplish anything he will just laugh, oh she still cares. You need to be independent, and not chase this man. He has made it clear it was over. If, and I say if, there is any chance of this man coming back to you, your going around it the wrong way. He thinks, oh she still cares. Maintain NC, let him miss you. The more you run after him, the more he will go further away. Work on yourself now, and keep busy. Good luck.

It hasn't been that long since the break up, and your wounds are still very fresh, and tender, of course you had a very emotional reaction. Who wouldn't.

I think you were just caught off guard, and reacted badly after, but not something to beat yourself up over, its done. You just have to get back on the path, and keep it moving on.

I'll try to move on. I know I have to. There's nothing else it could be done.
I 'm thinking... our exes have as much power over us as we give them.. I refuse to give him that much power anymore. I'm not mad at him... he broke up because of his.. sake... not because he wanted to hurt me... I'm still desperate about it.. but nothing will change and he will not come back... so I have to accept that. I still love him.. and part of me will love him forever... but it's time to wipe of my tears and move on. It's going to be tough, but I must and I can make it.
Thank you for all your support, it's... priceless.

Good thinking,I agree with you!

One day at the time.

And come here whenever you need to
Take care.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by heart_line

our exes have as much power over us as we give them.. i refuse to give him that much power anymore.

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I like your thinking, your attitude. Mindset is very important.