Hi there,

The title explains a lot. My step daughter is acting out because we are moving and this is the house that she grew up in. While I understand this (I moved 25 times before age 18), her behavior is completely unacceptable. She isn't showering, she isn't brushing her hair or teeth, her hygiene is tumbling downhill basically. She's half doing her chores and then when she's busted for it, she's like oh I didn't know you meant to do that... Things that she has known how to do for a long time. The lying and stealing is getting MUCH worse. I think it has to do with all the changes all at once. Moving-Wedding-Baby. How do I get through to her that her behavior isn't getting her what she wants?

Have you tried to get her to participate in things involving the new home? Is there any painting or decorating to be done? Have you taken her by where your moving and drove the neighborhood? As far as hygene goes you can tell her that she is letting not just herself down but her friends too. Have you made plans so she can stay connected to them?

I would tell her until she bathed and groomed herself.. no fun privileges.. No TV.. No Ipod.. No phone... If she doesn't do her chores properly she will keep doing them until they are right.


No allowence.. worked with mine.. they called me a meanie, but they turned out to be great adults. Good Luck.. I'm sorry you have to go through this at such a happy time. Hugs:)

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

Have you tried to get her to participate in things involving the new home? Is there any painting or decorating to be done? Have you taken her by where your moving and drove the neighborhood? As far as hygene goes you can tell her that she is letting not just herself down but her friends too. Have you made plans so she can stay connected to them?

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The house is brand new so the only things we're doing is putting our stuff in it, it's not that time yet so no. But she has been involved in the packing, cleaning and storing of things in this house preparing to move out. Yes, she's seen the neighborhood and went to the showing of the house with us. I even made her a notebook to take to school and got all her friends to sign it and write down their phone numbers.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I would tell her until she bathed and groomed herself..no fun privileges..No TV..No Ipod..No phone....If she doesn't do her chores properly she will keep doing them untill they are right.


No allowence..worked with mine..they called me a meanie, but they turned out to be great adults. Good Luck..I'm sorry you have to go through this at such a happy time. Hugs:)

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First paragraph is already done. It doesn't seem to phase her. And she doesn't get allowance. I have however told her that we are buying a new computer for everyone in the family and her privileges for that are already revoked before the thing is even purchased. I don't know what else to do here. Her Dad is at a loss as well.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

First paragraph is already done. It doesn't seem to phase her. And she doesn't get allowance. I have however told her that we are buying a new computer for everyone in the family and her privileges for that are already revoked before the thing is even purchased. I don't know what else to do here. Her Dad is at a loss as well.

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What works with my grandchildren was grounding after we sat them down and told them how their behaviour was affecting us. Sitting in a room with no TV, no video games worked. Of course when they did something outstanding like bringing home straight A's or doing something without being told we started a little bank jar. They added the money when they received it and had a choice of how to spend it.:)

She's been grounded for two weeks already. She gets great grades, her teachers want to bump her up a grade but aren't because she's too immature and disrupts other's learning.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I don't know what else to do here.

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Ask HER for ideas.

What's positive about the move? What will be pluses at the new location?

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

She's been grounded for two weeks already. She gets great grades, her teachers want to bump her up a grade but aren't because she's too immature and disrupts other's learning.

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Gosh I'm stymied! How old is she?

We've had that discussion. It seems like after the talk its great, until the next day... the behavior starts again. She gets to recreate herself in the new school, she can meet new people, learn new things, live closer to her grandmother, do more things since mom and dad are saving money. She knows all this and doesn't seem to appreciate it until we tell her to and then the next day its back to same old same old.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Gosh I'm stymied! How old is she?

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What does stymied mean? She's 10.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

She's been grounded for two weeks already. She gets great grades, her teachers want to bump her up a grade but aren't because she's too immature and disrupts other's learning.

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The teachers should put her to work as a peer tutor (and find a few more kids for this). The responsibility will do wonders for her. The peer tutors will have to devise worksheets and lesson plans with the teachers.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

What does stymied mean? She's 10.

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It means I am at a loss for answers. Bless your heart. Gosh 10 years old is a hard age. I hope you and she cand work it out. Maybe some girl time, just the two of you. Good Luck.:)

That's not a bad idea. I think though that she might have to reprove herself in the new school before that can happen.

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

It means I am at a loss for answers. Bless your heart. Gosh 10 years old is a hard age. I hope you and she cand work it out. Maybe some girl time, just the two of you. Good Luck.:)

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We have girl hour everyday, something we came up with when I was working swing shift (which I'm going back to next week). Honestly, NOTHING seems to get through to her. NOthing we do seems to make her realize that she is punishing herself

Has she become a peer tutor? Has anyone looked at all the positives with her?

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

That's not a bad idea. I think though that she might have to reprove herself in the new school before that can happen.

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You can do it! Mark my words.. she'll grow to love and respect you because children don't know it but they like boundaries. Stick to the rules and no matter what is happening now , she'll respect and love you for it... You are going to be a great mom... Hugs:)

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Has she become a peer tutor? Has anyone looked at all the positives with her?

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I just answered both of those questions :P

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

You can do it! Mark my words..she'll grow to love and respect you because children don't know it but they like boundaries. Stick to the rules and no matter what is happening now , she'll respect and love you for it....You are going to be a great mom...Hugs:)

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Thanks Kitty. I hope so. I'm trying hard. It's difficult because this is the first poerson that I have been with that has kids and now we are getting married and having more and I'm becoming a step mom. I'm trying not to overstep my boundaries while doing my best to be there for everything that she needs.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I just answered both of those questions :P

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She's 10. An hour is like a thousand years. There is no yesterday or tomorrow, only this very minute. Don't expect her to think like an adult. Have you asked for her input as to what YOU can do differently?