Ask Me Help Desk - I am married and date a girl for two months

Married, we date for about two months, she never showed her feelings but when we broke up she told me she loves me, that was a month ago, then I decided to broke up and text her, she got mad (of course she said she was not mad) and she started ignoring me, I text, called and tried to talk to her, she said she was all right. Last time I contact her, she replied to my text and she said "u r married last time I checked", then we talked by phone and she said she does not care what I am doing with my life, that pissed me off and I told her to avoid contacting me unless she ants something with me, she text me yesterday to initiate a conversation, I asked her to go out on Friday and she said she's free, I don't get what she wants, now I haven't heard from her... I am trying to fix my life but this process is not short and easy, but I don't know if I really want a 25 years old with me (I am 36 btw)

I don't get what she wants, it seems she wants me back but when we talked she is so cold, I asked her to tell me to stay away from her but she just remained quiet and changed the topic, I can't read her, I don't know what she wants, please help!

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Originally Posted by mandyelsa

Married, we date for about two months, she never showed her feelings but when we broke up she told me she loves me, that was a month ago, then I decided to broke up and text her, she got mad (of course she said she was not mad) and she started ignoring me, I text, called and tried to talk to her, she said she was alright. Last time I contact her, she replied to my text and she said "u r married last time I checked", then we talked by phone and she said she does not care what I am doing with my life, that pissed me off and I told her to avoid contacting me unless she ants something with me, she text me yesterday to initiate a conversation, I asked her to go out on Friday and she said she's free, I dont get what she wants, now I haven't heard from her....I am trying to fix my life but this process is not short and easy, but I don't know if I really want a 25 years old with me (I am 36 btw)

Are you married to someone other than the woman you just broke up with?

Are you asking about getting back together with a woman you are having an affair with?

Yes and yes!

I am getting divorced by the way!

I'll be honest. I think you need to take some time to be single before you get too serious about another relationship. Give yourself some time to really think about what you want and to let the divorce finalize so that it isn't a distraction to starting a new relationship.

I don't think she knows what she wants any more than you do. All the more reason to give each other some time and space. Two months isn't very long to know have gotten to know each other. That you broke it off says you weren't comfortable with the relationship. Think about why you broke up with her. Does her saying, after the break up, that she 'loves' you change your viewpoint?

Cat,
Thank you very much for your advice, this is probably what I have to do. I am probably kind of obsessed with her, or I don't know... as you just said, I am confused, but when I just wanted to stay away from her, she showed up again and the story starts again. The fact that she said she love me made a change on my viewpoint? I am not sure, it was finally god to know she was clear with that even though she keeps saying she does not know if she wants to start something with me, I just don't get what she want. Again, thanks for your advice!

Any other advice based on your experience? Please!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandyelsa

she replied to my text and she said "u r married last time I checked", )

When she says this she is obviously not interested in getting into something with someone who still has some demons to kill.

Get your divorce , sort out your life and learn why your first marriage didn't work , then you'll be in a position to maybe start a new relationship and not repeat the same mistakes again.

If she really Loves you (which I find hard to believe after only 2 months) then you can explain what you need to do and she will be there for you when your ready.

Sounds like everything has happened way too fast.

First off, you should have taken time to divorce and heal BEFORE you started dating her. Seeing her on the rebound is just not good - actually rebound relationships rarely work out.

I'm still trying to read between the lines in your post. Did you leave your wife because you wanted to be with her or did you meet her after you had already broken up with your wife?

Quote:

QUOTE BY mandyelsa;
Married, we date for about two months, she never showed her feelings but when we broke up she told me she loves me, that was a month ago, then I decided to broke up and text her, she got mad (of course she said she was not mad) and she started ignoring me, I text, called and tried to talk to her, she said she was all right.

Your still married and she knows all you want right now is fun and games... and sex.

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Last time I contact her, she replied to my text and she said "u r married last time I checked", then we talked by phone and she said she does not care what I am doing with my life, that pissed me off and I told her to avoid contacting me unless she wants something with me,

DUH!! She knows full well that you still have baggage to unpack from your failed marriage that your divorce is yet to happen, so she is keeping a distance so you don't use her as your rebound feel good sex buddy, which seems to be all you want.

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she text me yesterday to initiate a conversation, I asked her to go out on Friday and she said she's free, I don't get what she wants, now I haven't heard from her... I am trying to fix my life but this process is not short and easy, but I don't know if I really want a 25 years old with me (I am 36 btw)

If you think she is just going to fall in line and give you the good time your looking for without wooing her, and making her think you care, You are sadly mistaken. Work for it, or leave it alone.

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I don't get what she wants, it seems she wants me back but when we talked she is so cold, I asked her to tell me to stay away from her but she just remained quiet and changed the topic, I can't read her, I don't know what she wants, please help!

The whole problem my friend, is she wants to see how much you want from her besides a sex buddy, booty call, or a friend with benefits, when you have time. She will not fall freely for your charm, or put up with being treated like a rebound to fill your time.

She ain't giving it up for free nor will play any games, or fall for your rush act.

Either work for it, as a gentleman should, or leave it alone.