Fallen for my best friend
We're a lot like Harry and Sally:rolleyes: From the moment I met him I knew he would play an important role in my life. But that's not to say I liked him right away, in fact I really despised him. He really pissed me off and was the one person who could one-up me (me.. THE one-up queen)! But he really was the most interesting person I'd ever met. Soon after meeting and moving into our freshman dorms (we lived on the same floor) we became unlikely bestfriends. Sometimes we fought like we were married but I could tell him anything and would have trusted him with my life. I think people thought we were a strange pair because we seemed like polar opposites. In high school he was the semi-nerdy, way-too-into-video games guy who always made people laugh, while I was the shy, cheerleading captain and homecoming queen (cliche, I know). I had a tighter bond with him then I did with my then boyfriend of 3 years. (About the boyfriend-he wasn't around much and didn't have a lot of involvement in my college life, we're now broken up). When freshman year ended I was so depressed. I didn't realize what a big part of my life he was, and I had made a decision to transfer colleges two hours away (stupid, stupid, stupid!) During the summer we had a couple of drunk exchanges over the phone where we both confessed our love for each other, but nothing ever really came of that. We continued to talk and visit each other this last school year, but we were still stuck in the "friend zone". I tried to get over him.
I went to visit all my old friends last weekend (him aswell). He didn't talk to me all that much and couldn't even look me in the eyes. I'll admit that I was a bit devistated because I couldn't wait to see him. That night I sheepishly text him asking if he was over me. He told me that he was frustrated because he's in love with me and just doesn't know what to do anymore and doesn't know how to share his emotions with me. I feel the same way. I saw him the next day and it's like that conversation we had never happened. The one thing we do have in common is that we are both horrible at talking about our feelings and emotions. Why can't we just have a sober, in person conversation about "us"... WITHOUT blowing up on each other? Maybe I should write him a letter explaining exactly how I feel..? Idk. Right now all I know is that I love him and could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. But we can't be just friends anymore, because we're not. I feel like I either have to let him go for good and never speak to him again or begin the next stage of our relationship. I'm just so lost, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
