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-   -   How should I explain this? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=464588)

  • Apr 13, 2010, 07:37 PM
    CoupletPoet
    How should I explain this?
    So I've been with my girlfriend for four months now since Monday. But, we've been friends for over a year now and I have these really strong feelings for her. Like, I lost my affections for other's, I can't see myself with anyone else and I know this is odd but, I had this weird daydream of asking her to marry me. I'm young enough but, I know what's right and wrong. And this, the feeling of wanting to marry her it just feels so right, so complete but, how do I explain my feelings to her when I'm so overly shy even with her.


    Here it is simply put: How do I explain the feelings I have been getting for her to her? How do I explain that I think of no other but, her in my life? And that I have had this dream of marrying her? Do you think I should? Because I do. I really love this female and she makes my heart soar to the heavens above and I love being around her, I love to listen to her voice. I love her intellect, her smile, her witty talk, I love her sadness, her anger, her happiness, her passion I love everything about her. Please, I really need help I want to tell her but, I don't know if I can or if I truly should.

    Thank you,
    Drae/Coupletpoet
  • Apr 13, 2010, 07:55 PM
    sohotitsscary

    Does she know your in love with her?

    Like have you said it and she said it back?
  • Apr 13, 2010, 08:04 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sohotitsscary View Post
    does she know your in love with her??

    like have you said it and she said it back??

    How old are you?
  • Apr 14, 2010, 05:09 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    Yes Kitty asks a good question.

    You are twitter pated, it's a wonderful, nauseating, sickening feeling isn't it?

    Don't rush into things too quickly, take one day at a time, and think with your head not your...

    You guys have only been dating for a few months, don’t say or get your slef into something you may regret in a month’s time.

    I don’t think there is any harm in telling her that you really like her, and you are glad you get to spend time with her and you hope that your relationship can evolve into something further over time.

    You can tell her how special she makes you feel, and that you are lucky to have her in your life.

    Just don’t get too carried away, and don’t bombard her all at once. Keep it light and casual. And sometimes saying the “L” word too early can be a real relationship killer. Make sure you are saying it because you truly 100% believe you love her. Being ‘in-like’ and being in LOVE are two totally different things, but can be easily confused. Tread lightly my friend!
  • Apr 14, 2010, 10:17 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell View Post
    Yes Kitty asks a good question.

    You are twitter pated, it's a wonderful, nauseating, sickening feeling isn't it?

    Don't rush into things too quickly, take one day at a time, and think with your head not your...

    You guys have only been dating for a few months, don’t say or get your slef into something you may regret in a month’s time.

    I don’t think there is any harm in telling her that you really like her, and you are glad you get to spend time with her and you hope that your relationship can evolve into something further over time.

    You can tell her how special she makes you feel, and that you are lucky to have her in your life.

    Just don’t get too carried away, and don’t bombard her all at once. Keep it light and casual. And sometimes saying the “L” word too early can be a real relationship killer. Make sure you are saying it because you truly 100% believe you love her. Being ‘in-like’ and being in LOVE are two totally different things, but can be easily confused. Tread lightly my friend!

    Again... How old are you both?
  • Apr 14, 2010, 03:22 PM
    CoupletPoet

    She's sixteen and soon I'll be fifteen in three weeks. Please don't say we're too young to know what love is because no one knows truly how it feels because it's different for everyone. We said I love you to each other before we started dating. I told her last year in Novemeber and I was really happy that she returned my feelings. It's not sickening it's wonderful, beautiful and so inviting that sometimes I sit there and just think of her. I do believe I truly love her, from the first moment I met her, I felt something like warmth spreading through me, complete peace through my being. I asked god even if it was all right for us to be together because we are both females if you had not figured out.

    I do tread lightly, because I feel so much for her I feel a bit of fear in being hurt because she is the first person to make me truly feel like this. And thank you everyone for the advice.
  • Apr 14, 2010, 03:28 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by CoupletPoet View Post
    She's sixteen and soon I'll be fifteen in three weeks. Please don't say we're too young to know what love is because no one knows truly how it feels because it's different for everyone. We said I love you to eachother before we started dating. I told her last year in Novemeber and I was really happy that she returned my feelings. It's not sickening it's wonderful, beautiful and so inviting that sometimes I sit there and just think of her. I do believe I truly love her, from the first moment I met her, I felt something like warmth spreading through me, complete peace through my being. I asked god even if it was alright for us to be together because we are both females if you had not figured out.

    I do tread lightly, because I feel so much for her I feel a bit of fear in being hurt because she is the first person to make me truly feel like this. And thankyou everyone for the advice.



    I think you have been watching too many movies. Even thinking about marriage at your age is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Young man stop this.. CONCENTRATE on your education.
    You are still a child! Stop being an idiot!
  • Apr 14, 2010, 03:29 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    I didn't mean you guys were sickening, I just meant that feeling in your tummy.

    Who I am I to say if you are in love or not? I was just saying proceed with caution.



    I do feel you are a bit young, but I certainly don't have all the answers, just trying to give a different perspective and a little bit of caution. Do you think you could be feeling such extreme feelings because this is your first same sex relationship? Maybe you find it a bit exhilarating?



    Good luck! If you both feel the same, why the dilemma?
  • Apr 14, 2010, 10:09 PM
    CoupletPoet

    To be quite honest I am in fact a female. I am not a young Man to be kindly put.

    And it's not my first same sex relationship either, it's the first one that has ever made me feel this way. I am concentrating on my studies, especially if I want to become a lawyer or a poet maybe a writer some day but, alas I rather be an astrologists. KitKat22 I do not watch movies very often, I read books most of the time. It's not ridiculous, girls younger then I were married back in the medieval times but, we are talking about the present.

    The dilemma is that I have such feelings for her but, I have no clue if she feels nothing towards others, or if she has ever thought of this marriage to say... myself. And, in that accordance I have told her what was needed to be told and she actually say, but, I wanted to propose. It was quite delightful indeed but, on the serious side I found myself wanting to wrap the darling cherub into my arms and tell her how much she means to me and how delighted I am to know that she does in fact return the feelings I have.

    And KitKat, I am not an idiot, I am quite smart in worldly things, I understand more then the average child yet, less then the most gifted one. I may still be a child but, I have grown up around adults. One would try to be a child but, I cannot due to who I have grown up around.


    And one last thing to those who do not know. I am a female. With the working parts as well. To be clean with my words. As one would almost say. I suppose, I assure you I do not use the male bathroom.

    Thank you for all of your help most definitely to you Aurora you have truly helped me and added to my confidence which is a bit on the low side. Anyway, thank you all once again.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 01:26 AM
    redhed35

    I have to echo aurora advice.

    Take things slow,the feelings you have are intense,take a step back,let the relationship develop.

    The majority or teenage relationships burn out quickly because there are so intense.

    My advice is too be just as proactive in other areas of your life,don't put all your happiness into one basket,enjoy your youth!
  • Apr 15, 2010, 01:31 AM
    Gemini54
    I think that you're a bit young as well, and even though you claim to know what love is, I think that sometimes we need to experience these feelings a number of times before we understand them.

    I think that it's lovely that you're feeling like this, but don't rush in - remember it's a feeling and often feelings are not grounded in reality. They are grounded in dreams and desire and longing.

    In any case, unless you live somewhere that has legislated for same sex marriages for under 16's, I don't think that your dream of marriage will come to pass any time soon!

    All I can say is - enjoy the feeling, take it lightly, and enjoy yourself. Don't be too intense and laugh a little.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 04:29 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    I agreee Gemini! Have fun, enjoy your youth as Red said (hehe)

    YOu are welcome, and I am gald I could be of assistance! Be safe.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 04:57 AM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by redhed35 View Post
    i have to echo aurora advice.

    take things slow,the feelings you have are intense,take a step back,let the relationship develop.

    the majority or teenage relationships burn out quickly because there are so intense.

    my advice is too be just as proactive in other areas of your life,dont put all your happiness into one basket,enjoy your youth!


    Not putting down your feelings for another girl.. that's your business. I'm saying you are too young to think about marriage. Sorry about calling you an idiot, you sound very smart.. that makes me wonder.. why try to grow up to fast? Good Luck:)
  • Apr 15, 2010, 12:33 PM
    Kitkat22

    Thank you and keep posting, let us know how your doing !
    We're always here for you...
  • Apr 15, 2010, 12:50 PM
    hheath541

    At that age, all your emotions are intense, love most of all. It's easy to get drawn in and fall head over heels.

    That being said, just love her. Charish her. Enjoy spending time with her.

    It's too soon, and you're too young, to talk about marriage. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy the warm feeling that thought gives you. It just means that talking about it with her is not the best idea.

    You're young. You're in love. You may beat the odds and be together for the rest of your lives. You may also end up breaking up in a year or three. A big part of the excitement of a new relatinship is the not knowing. Every day is new and special and all the more important, because you're not focused on tomorrow.

    Enjoy it. That feeling is special, and something that doesn't last forever.

    After awhile that feeling settles into something calmer and more grounded. That doesn't mean it'll be less intense, because it isn't always. It's just that the constant excitement and 'newness' of it all wears off over time and gets replaced by a comfortable state of being.

    Enjoy the excitement while you can. Stop trying to settle down so quickly. You'll never be able to capture quite the same feeling ever again. But, if you're lucky, the feeling that replaces it will be even better.

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