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-   -   Leave state with child after divorce (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=464567)

  • Apr 13, 2010, 05:42 PM
    Jtdressel
    Leave state with child after divorce
    I am getting married on one week. My future husband now has a well paying job in Denver. I am currently living in Louisiana. My ex husband and I have one child together. On what grounds am I allowed to leave the state. We have joint custody with me being domicilary parent.
  • Apr 13, 2010, 05:45 PM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jtdressel View Post
    On what grounds am I allowed to leave the state. We have joint custody with me being domicilary parent.

    Hello Jt:

    If the father wants to stop you, there AREN'T any grounds that the court will entertain.

    excon
  • Apr 13, 2010, 05:51 PM
    Jtdressel

    I was under the impression from a legal representative that Louisiana Law allows a mother to leave with a child as long as holiday and summer visitations were uphelp and her new husband was in another state. Does this sound correct?
  • Apr 13, 2010, 05:52 PM
    sohotitsscary

    I saw something like this on judge judy

    You can leave the state but not the children you share custody without proper permission by the father
    And if you fail to return within the time you have argreed you could face kiddnap charges on return to your home state
  • Apr 13, 2010, 06:00 PM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jtdressel View Post
    I was under the impression from a legal representative that Louisiana Law allows a mother to leave with a child as long as holiday and summer visitations were uphelp and her new husband was in another state. Does this sound correct?

    Hello again, Jt:

    No, it does NOT sound right. What I said sounded right. In fact, it IS right.

    I don't know how close you are with your children. If you're close, assume the father is too. Then try to understand how it would feel to YOU to have your child taken away with only summer and holiday visitation? In addition to that, what will happen to the relationship between your child and his or her father? It CAN'T be maintained.

    For those reasons, the judge will NOT let you do this.

    excon
  • Apr 13, 2010, 06:01 PM
    Jtdressel

    So basically there are no other options but to petition the court for permission to leave because the father has refused to allow me to me leave?
  • Apr 13, 2010, 06:02 PM
    excon

    Hello again, Jt:

    Petition all you like. The judge will NOT let you do this.

    excon
  • Apr 14, 2010, 07:47 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jtdressel View Post
    We have joint custody with me being domicilary parent.

    Is that all the decree says about custody and visitation?

    Try to work out a reasonable visitation schedule with your ex. If you cannot agree, ask the court to order that you be given primary physical custody with specified visitation for your ex.
  • Apr 14, 2010, 08:06 AM
    stinawords

    Right. You need to to go court to have it worked out. The visitation will change obviously and you will need a court order for this to make sure your back is covered in the move and new visitation.
  • Apr 14, 2010, 03:25 PM
    cdad

    What is the current visitation times of the father? That is what is going to weigh heavy on everything. Also I hope you know that if you move you pay. So expect to pay all related transportation costs for HIS visitation.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 06:53 PM
    Jtdressel

    You guys were right. I got some good news. Per my attorney, one of the few reasons the judge will allow a motion to relocate is the fact that my hew spouse has taken a better job. I will have to make arrangements to have her back in the state of Louisiana for summer visitation, Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. I will have to pay for this but that part is a non issue for me. If I were moving closer geographically, I would have to have her back in Louisiana for more frequent visitations but that's just not possible moving 1100 miles away. My reasons for moving are all for the better of the child. Another factor that plays into my getting to leave is the fact that I am not trying to keep my daughter from her father. I am simply moving to benefit my marriage and in the long run, my daughter. Have faith mothers who are going through the same thing. Sometimes things do work out.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 06:59 PM
    cdad

    What percentage of time does your ex currently have with the child?
  • Apr 15, 2010, 07:08 PM
    Jtdressel

    He is granted every other weekend but he does not see her every weekend. He sees her about once a month for a day or two right now.
  • Apr 15, 2010, 07:51 PM
    stinawords

    I'm glad some one finally found out we aren't just full of it. Lol. Congratulations on making it this far and good luck in your future!
  • Apr 16, 2010, 04:24 AM
    ScottGem

    A court will generally NOT allow the children to be moved if it interferes with the current court ordered visitation schedule. Moving from LA to CO would not allow alternative weekends that exist now.

    On the other hand judges do generally have broad discretion in matters like these. If you can show that he is not exercising his current visitation and you offer a replacement plan a judge MIGHT allow it. Not saying they will though.

    Your attorney may be more familiar with your local Family Court and have knowledge of judge's mindsets. But I doubt if the law makes a statement like that. If your attorney does say its in LA Law, I'd like to see the cite for that.
  • Apr 16, 2010, 04:31 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stinawords View Post
    I'm glad some one finally found out we aren't just full of it. lol. Congratulations on making it this far and good luck in your future!

    Hello:

    This may be a victory for her, but it's a loss for the daughter and all the fathers in America. This judge isn't the first judge I've disagreed with.

    excon
  • Apr 16, 2010, 05:41 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello:

    This may be a victory for her, but it's a loss for the daughter and all the fathers in America. This judge isn't the first judge I've disagreed with.

    excon

    I don't think the OP has heard from a judge yet. My understanding is her lawyer has told her he thinks the court will allow the move. As I said, her lawyer, hopefully, has better knowledge of the local courts then we can. There is also the issue of the "best interests of the child" doctrine. If the father is not exercising his current visitation rights, the judge may decide the move falls into that doctrine.

    But I do not believe LA law says specifically that a custodial parent can move with the children to follow a new husband to a better job or anything close to that. That would be totally discriminatory towards Non-custodial parents. So I do not believe this is a slam dunk. The OP will have to wait until she gets an official court ruling.
  • Apr 16, 2010, 07:32 AM
    stinawords

    True at this point it has just been her lawyer. LA law, from what of it I've studied is not like the rest of the country they are quite different in some accounts. Which is why getting a lawyer there was in the op's best interest. What the judge will decide is still up in the air since he/she hasn't heard the case yet. But at this point if the op/op's lawyer shows that dad isn't using all of his visitation time then the entire summer and two holidays may be more time then he is actually using right now. Though again I am jumping to the judge ordering the whole summer and not just two weeks. The cases I have seen where the distance is that great all but about two weeks is awarded to the ncp of the summer but again that is also up to the judge.
  • Apr 16, 2010, 07:47 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stinawords View Post
    But at this point if the op/op's lawyer shows that dad isn't using all of his visitation time then the entire summer and two holidays may be more time then he is actually using right now.

    Hello stina:

    From what the OP said, he gets two weekends a month and is only using one of them. I'll bet he'll say that he uses more. Nonetheless, what's clear, is that he DOES have an ongoing relationship with his daughter. Changing it to summertime visits, even if they're lengthy, will drastically ALTER their relationship forever.

    Now, I understand the OP THINKS her daughter will benefit from the move, apparently because her economic condition will be improved... However, the loss of her fathers attention can NEVER be made up by mere money. I HOPE the judge will turn her down. I can't imagine that he won't regardless of what her lawyer tells her.

    excon
  • Apr 16, 2010, 08:41 AM
    Synnen

    Excon, got to disagree with you.

    We don't know the WHOLE story here.

    He gets two weekends a month. He only uses ONE. That's already hurting his child. We don't know if he shows up for birthdays and holidays and her debut as a star on the kindergarten stage. We don't know a LOT here.

    My sister is currently trapped by her ex-husband. She could get a job paying THREE TIMES as much as what she is currently getting in their small town if she could move. Every time she talks about it, he gets more active with the kids he'd been ignoring. He doesn't CARE if he sees the kids every other weekend or for 3 weeks in the summer. What he CARES about is making my sister's life miserable. What he CARES about is exerting control over my sister because she has primary custody and because she left him. So--she collects welfare instead of being able to support herself completely because she can't move, and he doesn't pony up child support until he's just about at the point of getting arrested.

    PS--there are sometimes VERY good reasons for limited visitation. I know SEVERAL women who have primary custody because the dad can't be depended on to show up, pay up, and grow up. If a party is more important than seeing your child, which is why you don't use one of your weekends of visitation---well, you shouldn't have the right to block the mother from improving her circumstances, and therefore the circumstances of the child. Not that I know the whole story here either--but there are some parents out there that have no real interest in their child, but a LOT of anger and bitterness towards their child's other parent, to the point of blocking them from having a better life.

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