I am confused on this one.She and I were friends,she was involved for several years with someone.We had an instant attraction,and acted on it once or twice.Since it was unclear even to her what there relationship was we did'nt do that again.
A short time later,he dumps her,she's devistated... soon I am spending every night with her.We had a very passionate fling,she told me she does;nt want a boyfriend,I was fine with that,I knew she was hurting and it hurt me to see her like that.We found it hard to get out of bed and we made out like we were in high school.She said she was falling in love with me,but it was obvious we already were in love.So now I know it was a rebound.The thing is there was too much passion and straight up lust between us,that does;nt happen that offen in this life.I miss that and I miss her.
That's right ,she moved away.I helped her pack and yardsale and loaded the truck.She came back a week later to get her car.I went with her.We went to a nice hotel overlooking the beach.We sat on the balcony at night and kissed.
I know it never would have lasted,relationships are too confining for me and I tend to push women away,but I really miss this one and it seems are friendship is collateral damage.She says we can see each other when we see each other so its loose. but I think we have seen the absolute best part of each other and I wonder if that fire will still be there.The downside of rebounds is where I am right now.
What do I do

I think you do nothing.

She needs to heal from her breakup and why be her friend with benefits when your feelings are deeper than hers?

I suggest no contact; read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

Try not to focus so much on the rebound aspect anymore. Though it might feel like the most logical excuse as to why you broke up, it's not the only reason.

So let's not focus on the things that we don't know, but focus on the things that we do know. It's clear that you had/have a friends with benefits arrangement and will continue to do so. It's also clear that she's not ready for a serious relationship and wants to keep things casual. Who knows if and when she comes around.

You're definitely not on the same page in terms of feelings. I suggest that you let her know how you feel, i.e. that you want something more than friends with benefits, and leave the ball on her side of the court. Once she's aware of your feelings, back away and do your own thing. Lingering around and hanging in limbo is not healthy for you. You shouldn't feel the need to put your life on hold waiting for her to come to you.

You knew you were a rebound, you tried to rationalize it and believed there was more than what it was. Now you have to heal and there's not much else you can do.

Quote:

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.She said she was falling in love with me,but it was obvious we already were in love

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Sorry partner, but those intense feelings were not love they were lust, and you both were exploring it. If it was love wouldn't you be together?

Often we humans use the word love to describe intense feelings and attraction, but the proof is in what's done about it.

Okay say it was love, it obviously wasn't enough to keep things going, and reality came between you.

Whether love, or lust, what you do now is the same, you give yourself time to heal, and start doing your thing without her. Like you have done before.