Ask Me Help Desk - Phone turned off, should I worry?

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months. We broke up once a month ago, and I found out he had a "booty call" but turned it down at the last second. I'm having hard time trying to trust him, even though we weren't officially together at that time and he didn't even "do it"...

So today I sent him a text right before he got off work, knowing he couldn't answer before he leaves. His phone dies pretty much every day (at least it's what he says) but he got off work 2 hours ago (and he lives 5 minutes away) I'm not worried about his life - his mom would tell me - but my old demons are haunting me. I have to admit I've been very clingy recently because of that booty call thing and he thinks I'm spying on him (which I did in the past.)

I'm trying to change and act different, trust him again but I don't know how to feel. Last night I asked him what he's doing on Facebook (because I saw him on chat thingy) and he said I was a "questioning b****" that I should stop being paranoid. When I told him getting all defensive doesn't help, he apologized and he's been sweet since then.

I hate long distance, but I really like him. Him not being online anywhere with his phone turned off makes me wonder though. I read somewhere that "guys start to put the blame on you when they're doing something wrong"... How true is that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norah1

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months. We broke up once a month ago, and I found out he had a "booty call" but turned it down at the last second. I'm having hard time trying to trust him, even though we weren't officially together at that time and he didn't even "do it"...

So today I sent him a text right before he got off work, knowing he couldn't answer before he leaves. His phone dies pretty much every day (at least it's what he says) but he got off work 2 hours ago (and he lives 5 minutes away) I'm not worried about his life - his mom would tell me - but my old demons are haunting me. I have to admit I've been very clingy recently because of that booty call thing and he thinks I'm spying on him (which I did in the past.)

I'm trying to change and act different, trust him again but I don't know how to feel. Last night I asked him what he's doing on facebook (because I saw him on chat thingy) and he said I was a "questioning b****" that I should stop being paranoid. When I told him getting all defensive doesn't help, he apologized and he's been sweet since then.

I hate long distance, but I really like him. Him not being online anywhere with his phone turned off makes me wonder though. I read somewhere that "guys start to put the blame on you when they're doing something wrong"... How true is that?

Hello,

It doesn't sound as if you a have a whole lot of trust for this guy... And should you? NO WAY!

First off, I don't buy the whole phone dying every day bit! Either he has a real crummy phone, which is in need of a new battery, or he is talking on the phone all day long, which you say he is working... Do you see where I am getting at?

I don't know this guy, nor do I know what's going on while you are away from him. I do know this, according to your post, he sounds a little shady.

If you are having trust issues this bad, then perhaps you two should take a break from each other.

Or, maybe let him pursue you for a while.

Yes, you seem a little clingy, and that is something you should work on. Being too clingy will only drive men away!

You asked," Guys put the blame on you when they're doing something wrong?" Hard to say... In some cases, yes, and in some cases, no. It really just all depends.

You need to leave this guy alone. You do have a problem. You are obsessive and honestly he is probably scared shi%less of you because you are watching his every move even though your not even going out.

I do not agree with a little clingy I think your holding on to everything and anything you can get your hands on and not letting go even though he is clearly not wanting to be around you.

He probably is seeing other women or wants to see other women. Stop questioning let him to be at his own devices.

YOU can DO better... Believe in yourself and end it completely by ignoring the phones, the Facebook, the whatever it maybe...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper1976

You do have a problem. You are obsessive and honestly he is probably scared shi%less of you because you are watching his every move even though your not even going out.

he is clearly not wanting to be around you.

He probably is seeing other women or wants to see other women.

Wow... Thanks for the advice, you can go be rude to someone else now.

I was not being rude to you... Sorry you feel that way... My advice stands as it is... If you can not except that then your going to be way over your head with this guy.

I can't tell if he's cheating or not , what you have given us is basically circumstantial evidence and to be honest your gut probably tells you that your right as it does sound rather suspicious.

But... Unfortunately If you don't trust him then it won't work in the long run anyway.

So you have a choice to make , either trust him and believe him , or if you don't believe him disappear from his life.