Today I found outmy mom is cheating on my dad with some 21 year old. My mom is 52. I was playing a game on her blackberry and went from the game page to her email accidentally and saw all the messages from him. I saw over 30. He sent her pictures of him... naked. And she sent him a picture of her NAKED and I reaad all of the messages and am really scared. She's still married and my friends said she was hot but I didn't know this would happen with some guy. Is it okay the guy is sleeping with my married mom? I saw that they were going to meet up in a hotel tomorrow

No, it's not OK.

How old are you? It'll make a difference what advice you get.

Hi, z007man!

Yes, it would help to know how old you are. Also, do you plan on confronting your mom about what you found out?

Thanks!

Greeting z007man,

A couple of things you need to know.

1st. This is an issue that needs to be settled between your parents, not you and your parents.

2nd. I do not know your age, but this is in no way your fault.

Parents do dumb things every now and then.

If you go to church I suggest that you have a very private talk with your Priest, Pastor or Rabbi and ask how you should bring this issue forward to your Mom.

<Snip - removed sentenance because it was inaccurate.>

We can try to help you if you give us more information.

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Originally Posted by z007man

today i found outmy mom is cheating on my dad with some 21 year old. my mom is 52. i was playing a game on her blackberry and went from the game page to her email accidently and saw all the messages from him. i saw over 30. he sent her pictures of him... naked. and she sent him a picture of her NAKED and i reaad all of the messages and am really scared. shes still married and my friends said she was hot but i didnt kno this would happen with some guy. is it okay the guy is sleeping with my married mom? i saw that they were gonna meet up in a hotel tommorow

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You should talk to your mom, tell her what you saw. I wouldn't suggest going to your pastor or anyone else because your mother may get upset at you for "bringing her business outside" [hey some moms are like that!].

So talk to her, when you two are alone, tell her what you saw and read.

Another thing, don't snoop around [which you did, since you saw it but you kept reading, instead of exiting], because sometimes you'll discover things you wish you'll never discover, and these type of things aren't meant for children to handle [assuming your not an adult].

Good luck.

Sweetie... I know you must be hurt and I don't think you were snooping. You didn't mean to find these things and I wish you hadn't.
I really don't know what to say. I will say this... Once you are over the shock you need to think things through before you make a decision!

You will be in my prayers and thoughts. I'm so sorry.:)

Regardless of what you do, this is obviously something your parents need to work out. It's really up to you rather or not you decide to let your mom know what you saw, or not.

Actually I have no idea as to the gender of the poster. The tone of the writing suggest to me a younger person, but the age of the parent (52) certainly suggest either pre-teen to teen years.

I miss read the statement "Mom" to be "Mommy" and accordingly deleted the sentence I wrote.

Mudwiser, unfortunately the horse is out of the barn so to speak and the child has no way to put the horse back in.

The child may or may not be able to talk to the parent, but the child is now stuck on the horror of the situation.

If the child were an adult, I would say, go sit in the lobby of the hotel and meet his/her Mom as she comes in and tell her about the phone messages and pictures.

Holly, it's great to hear from you, it's been quite awhile.

"Mommy and Daddy" are terms I would expect to be used by young children or girls or women. I would expect young men or men to use the word "Dad" instead of "Daddy". Daddy doesn't sound correct coming out of an adult male's mouth. I do not in any way mean that as a snub or insult. I make that statement because guys of whatever age are always seeking manhood. I guess it's our testosterone we must show how manly we are.

I'm am sure that my opinion is not a global opinion.

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Originally Posted by donf

Actually I have no idea as to the gender of the poster. The tone of the writing suggest to me a younger person, but the age of the parent (52) certainly suggest either pre-teen to teen years.

I miss read the statement "Mom" to be "Mommy" and accordingly deleted the sentence I wrote.

Mudwiser, unfortunately the horse is out of the barn so to speak and the child has no way to put the horse back in.

The child may or may not be able to talk to the parent, but the child is now stuck on the horror of the situation.

If the child were an adult, I would say, go sit in the lobby of the hotel and meet his/her Mom as she comes in and tell her about the phone messages and pictures.

Holly, it's great to hear from you, it's been quite awhile.

"Mommy and Daddy" are terms I would expect to be used by young children or girls or women. I would expect young men or men to use the word "Dad" instead of "Daddy". Daddy doesn't sound correct coming out of an adult male's mouth. I do not in any way mean that as a snub or insult. I make that statement because guys of whatever age are always seeking manhood. I guess it's our testosterone we must show how manly we are.

I'm am sure that my opinion is not a global opinion.

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Thanks Donf for clearing that up. I'm from the South so Daddy was
Daddy. Okay do you think this child is a male? I ask that because of the sentence "my friends think my mom is hot". Sounds like a teenage boy would say that!

I really hope the op comes back. I worry about these children who have to endure such a horrible thing. Thanks for listening. You do give good advice.:) Hugs

I think we can safely assume that the op is male from the name 'z 007 man'.

I need something cleared up. You use the phrase 'shes still married'. Are your parent's living together with your father thinking the marriage is fine or separated and divorcing?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

I think we can safely assume that the op is male from the name 'z 007 man'.

I need something cleared up. You use the phrase 'shes still married'. Are your parent's living together with your father thinking the marriage is fine or separated and divorcing?

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Cat1864.. I did look at the name z 007. That's why I asked the question and because of his remark about his friends!


z007 man, I do hope you come back and let us at least try to help. :)
No one here knows who you are, you can ask us anything. Blessings

To answer your question NO, it is not OK that your mom is having an affair.
I really think you should confront your mother about this first, as said a good place would be in the hotel lobby before she meets this man (probably too late now though) And try to convince her to stop on her own.

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Originally Posted by Rich11111

To answer your question NO, it is not OK that your mom is having an affair.
I really think you should confront your mother about this first, as said a good place would be in the hotel lobby before she meets this man (probably too late now though) And try to convince her to stop on her own.

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Talk to your mom and let her explain! I'm sorry sweetie!

This is an aweful situation no matter how old you are. Like one reader said, the horse is out of the barn, that means the situation is changed now. Do yo have any oder siblings? If so then you could talk with them and then together say something to your mother. Or does she have any brothers or sisters ,(aunts or uncles), maybe you would feel safe talking to one of them? This isn't something you shoud have to sholder by yourself.

All I'm thinking is that this isn't your problem to solve but your knowledge of it is something you need to find some support with adults and then let the adults work it out.

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Originally Posted by rockygirl

This is an aweful situation no matter how old you are. Like one reader said, the horse is out of the barn, that means the situation is changed now. Do yo have any oder siblings? If so then you could talk with them and then together say something to your mother. Or does she have any brothers or sisters ,(aunts or uncles), maybe you would feel safe talking to one of them? This isn't something you shoud have to sholder by yourself.

All I'm thinking is that this isn't your problem to solve but your knowledge of it is something you need to find some support with adults and then let the adults work it out.

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Take the advice here hon... Please... Hugs:)

I wasn't necessarily taking your comment the wrong way Donf. I was just pointing out the fact that just because someone calls their daddy 'daddy' doesn't really give an inclination as to their age. No offense taken.

I'd stay out of it. At age of 52, I'm sure she knows what she's doing.

I tell her what you found but children never know what secrets, or agreements they have between them. Maybe she will shed some light on things, but it is your parents business to deal with. Not you, so don't panic.

It is your business. She is your mother. You have a stake in this. I'm sure your heart is broken and you feel love and hate at the same time.

You have every right in the world to confront her. She needs to explain herself to you! You are her child. Good luck!

I think we need to wait for an update from the op before giving anymore advice. It has been a month since he posted and has added nothing since then.