Ask Me Help Desk - I really don't like my prom date

This might sound like a typical high school drama and although I'm going to graduate in a few months and in the future, none of this will even matter, but the present is undeniabley more important so I'm having a hard time proceeding and I need your help.

Prom is near. Its on April 30. There's this guy at our school (GuyA) who is totally weird. I don't mind him, we're friends and I talk to him. I'm just a nice person. He has a cruch on me, which I wouldn't take too seriously because he has ahad a crush on everyone and can't ger anyone ( no offence) He has no idea why he even likes people.I would never in a million years be attracted to him. Ever. Everyone views him as a bit of a loser. He's not unbearable or anything just really odd. He's nice and all.

One day his friend, whom I have nerv met, messages me on Facebook and tells me I am extremely beautiful and he can't believe that I would go to prom with guy A. His friend tells me that guy A asked me and he wanted to know what my answer was. Can I just say, creepy much? So I politely let him know I have no idea what he is talking about because guy A never asked me. I inquire guy A at school the next day (I just hate when guy do stuff like that) I dn't want to put him on the spot in front of his friends so I let him know later and he apologizes and says he was going to ask me if I didn't have anyone. I say that, that is fine but I don't tell him an answer because its pretty early before prom and I don't want to commit to a guy that I don't even want to go with. I would rather go alone, just because the whole point is to feel comfertable at prom and to actaully have fun. That day my friend introduces me to a guy at dinner which I've met before but we actually talk this time around. He's a nice guy and I felt casual and comfertab;e just chillen with him. He's in college and he told my friend that he's into me and all but I was pretty chill about it. I wanted to hang out with him over spring break and see where it went from there. My friend wanted me to take him to prom. Except he fell sick during spring break and couldn't go out at all. This other guy texts me everyday and he's in college and wanted to go with me cept I don't like him and he does, I don't want to use him just for prom and than that's it. Because I know he wants to be with me. I's close to prom and I finnaly went to my go to guy friend who's in college and he was going to come cept he really had to go somewhere and he wouldn't do that unless it was true. So that same day guy A texts me again and asks me who my date was. It was easter and I was with my family and distracted so I tell him no one and he's like maybe we can go together. Asks again. Desperate. And I have no bloody clue why but I said sure. Because I felt bad for him and since I didn't have one anyway. I put of the whole prom thing aside for a long time because I didn't mind, I was like whatever happens, happens. I get shy around guys and I didn't want to seem like I used people and I never worried much or cared. People never thought guy A would ever get a date or even make it to prom. He was just to excited for words and in just one day the whole school knew and they were shocked. Everyone was absolutely shocked that he would end up going with me. He keeps texting me saying how pretty I am and how everyone thinks I'm so beautiful and so nice and that their surprised to have him go with me. I regreted saying yes to him the day after I told him. I never wanted to go with him but I don't know why I said yes. This year there are so many people going alone that it doesn't even matter. But I don't know why I said yes. He has no other friends and the whole night I don't want to be stuck with him babaysitting him just cause I feel bad. But I don't want to leave him all alone either. I know I won't have fun with him. Because I don't feel comfertable with him. I know I'll dance with my friends and be free and have fun. But than u'd have to babysit him. He's sort of weird and might try something cept I already kept hinting to him that this is just a date for prom. I don't want this burden I just want to have fun. I don't care if I have a date or not. But now this happened. He has no other plans with his friends and he's going on the limo with my friends and none of them talk to him. Its been exactly a week since I said yes. Everyone keeps asking me. He keeps sicing it and my friends who know him are like chill. I asked him and he says he hasn't told anyone. Yea right. People think I'm his girl cause of his friends. Ugh. Please help. Akward moments define my life and I don't want this to be an akward night. I'm sick and tired of akwardness. This is prom. I want to have fun, be chill. He's not attractive, but that's OK whatever but the thing is I know after prom, with the pix we took, he will sice it. I had so many dreams for prom and my date. I never envisioned it like this. This is so stupid I felt guilty cause he asked me so many times and I said yes through pity and to be nice and now I regret it. Please help

God, I sound like such an awful typical teenager just re-reading my post, but eh.

You go with Guy A because you promised to, And you enjoy your date.

Go as friends and just have fun.

I only went to my senior prom. Decided to go the week of. I didn't have a date. I went with a group of friends, and had a blast.

Don't have too many expectations. Just go to have fun. It's prom. It's SUPPOSED to be fun.

Go with guy A who asked you and you accepted. Be the special person you are by showing him that with your pleasant personality and sense of fun, and by being nice to him. Don't criticize him and laugh about him in private with friends. That makes you look bad. It's one night out of your life, he's your friend, and you will be off to college soon where you will meet all sorts of guys with whom you will continue to be that special young lady we know you are. Consider prom night practice in dealing with people in a positive way.

Fr_Chuck. YES SIR! Haha :)Easier said. BUT, I understand you, of course. But enjoy my date? If it was enjoyable, believe me I would jump to it. But I can try, which I will end up doing but it will be dificult to have the positive outcome.

hheath541. We are going as friends. He* has expectations. I laid it out but yea... And I do want to have fun and go with my friends have a blast. I wish it was that way. Cept he has no friends, I can't leave him alone because that would be rude, and he's very akward to be around. I would have course introduce him to my friends but it's not like they don't know him, we go to school together. Just it can get akward.

Wondergirl. yes, I know I will go with him and I want to have fun so I hope he does too. And no I wouldn't talk about him behind his back to my friends, I'm not a jerk although my post may come off making me seem one. I get criticized about it instead. And I agree it helps me learn to better deal with people and think* before I say something, and thank u. :)

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Guy A and I aren't really friends. We just know each other from this program I am in. It's hard being criticized by others. :( And as much as I wish it was like the movies, where I take him and turns out to be an unakward and fun night, I can only hope because I'm just afraid he might try something. I don't know how to explain it, I wish you guys could just know it haha. See, if I went to prom and saw him there it would be another story. Totally chill, but me going with him is a different responsibility. And I don't want him to feel bad either. I can't picture myself dancing with him, and I can't picture myself saying no either.

He's not like that geek or soemthing you might be pisturing from the movies. See, if he were that extreme it would be okie. But he's just in the middle. He's normal but crazy. (God, I sound awful, I don't mean to, I'm just hoping you can picture it the right way).

To let you guys in on a dark secret that no one knows, hmmm here goes. My Ex and I planned on going to prom, cept we didn't and he will be very curious to know whom I'm going with and lets just say, it will be very embarrising to have him criticize and his friends to when they finnaly c the pix. Since Guy A will deff sice it. (I'm so sorry, I hope you understand how that feels. We all want to get back at our ex not give him the satisfaction) lol

Thanks to all for your help!

A little secret, the geeks will rule the world. I do laugh from high school, all the girls loved the "hot or jock" guys, and the president of the chess club could not even get the chess club girls to go with him to a dance.

Come to college and it changes slightly when he is getting offered engineering jobs starting in the 100,000's.

I know from high school some of the "hot" guys are are now pumping gas or still loading trucks at walmart ( all honest work) and several of us geeks who ended up with very successful careers. Not always of course but dating values in high school have little reality to the real world altter

I think that you should go with the "A" guy. But first tell him to forget about his "expectations", and if he tells otherwise afterwards, you'll castrate him.

You're a sweet girl. Your parents should be proud of you.

Go enjoy yourself, and make the most out of life.

Oh my! Words can't even express how much I don't miss this high school drama! And yours is nothing to the drama my friends and I created and went through for prom and ball.

It doesn't matter what his expectations are, as long as you've made yours clear and are careful not to lead him on and think he has a chance at anything more. Me and my ball date went as just friends, although then we ended up actually dating afterwards and are still together. But since we were just friends at the dance, and I'd talked to my friends before, some of my friends who didn't have dates also danced with him and made sure to talk to him and include him in the group. If your friends are good friends, they'll accept him as your friend and include him in the group so that you don't feel like you're babysitting, it'll feel like you're both there with all your friends having a good time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by justcurious55

oh my! words can't even express how much i don't miss this high school drama! and yours is nothing to the drama my friends and i created and went through for prom and ball.

it doesn't matter what his expectations are, as long as you've made yours clear and are careful not to lead him on and think he has a chance at anything more. me and my ball date went as just friends, although then we ended up actually dating afterwards and are still together. but since we were just friends at the dance, and i'd talked to my friends before, some of my friends who didn't have dates also danced with him and made sure to talk to him and include him in the group. if your friends are good friends, they'll accept him as your friend and include him in the group so that you don't feel like you're babysitting, it'll feel like you're both there with all your friends having a good time.

Exactly what I was thinking.

As long as she tells him they're just going as friends, then there's nothing else she can do. She can't control rather or not he has expectations. She can only have fun with a friend and hope that he has fun, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rize

Prom is near. Its on April 30. There's this guy at our school (GuyA) who is totaly weird. I don't mind him, we're friends and I talk to him. I'm just a nice person. He has a cruch on me, which I wouldn't take too seriously because he has ahad a crush on everyone and can't ger anyone ( no offence) He has no idea why he even likes people.I would never in a million years be attracted to him. Ever. Everyone views him as a bit of a loser. He's not unbearable or anything just really odd. He's nice and all.

Lol

Poor kid, come on, does it matter if you like him or not? You don't have to sacrifice fun for your date. Just ditch him once get to the place where the prom is held and chill with your friends, and he'll hang with his. And really, the funnest part of the night is the after party, which, from what I gather, he won't be present.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

A little secret, the geeks will rule the world. I do laugh from high school, all the girls loved the "hot or jock" guys, and the president of the chess club could not even get the chess club girls to go with him to a dance.

Come to college and it changes slightly when he is getting offered engineering jobs starting in the 100,000's.

I know from highschool some of the "hot" guys are are now pumping gas or still loading trucks at walmart ( all honest work) and several of us geeks who ended up with very successful carrers. Not always of course but dating values in high school have little reality to the real world altter

Okie u got me all wrong. If he was some geek its okie I don't care. I have no problem with people I'm not that shallow. I'm a bit of a geek myself haha. Just this guy, has been spreading stuff about both our relationship, the whole school knows, I had 3 girls, just today approach me. I don't trust his behavior. And no I don't think he will rule anything considering he's not the type your envisioning who is smart but lacks social skills or anything. He has no idea what he's doing after high school and I'd be surprised if he passed High School. Maybe geek wasn't the right word. He's just quier. He lies about not saying anything to people or spreading stuff. I don't appreciate his behavior and I hate that I now feel inclined to go with him just because I slipped up. It would have been fine if he hadn't started this whole rumer thing. It's not something that's mature, just ridiclus. And for what? Why should I go with someone like him? I don't want to take my chances.

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Someone back me up here :( what do u think? Am I wrong to keep myself out of this thing?
I swear haha my life has turned into the typical movie senario. I have never had random people in school approach me. I have no idea what he is doing. I almost feel scared. I wish u could understand the akwardness. And even though this might blow over in the future, I rather go alone and meet him there and have a good time with him when it comes to it, than go with him and possibly having to be with him there because if I leave I'd feel bad when I'm supposed to be with him but I don't like it.
I just wish this mess would end. :(

Ur all right in your own way. I get to school and that's a different story. Haha. Ughh the confusion! There's so much to consider.

Have you considered that maybe he isn't really saying anything? People do lie and gossip. What exactly is it that he's supposedly saying anyway that's got you so upset? Three girls approaching you doesn't mean much without details. When people gossiped about me in high school, I found a few effective ways of dealing with it. Sometimes I felt it was best to confront the person starting the rumors. This works best before everyone knows. (one time my good friend told me about how this friend of my cousins decided to announce to their entire health class that I was allergic to latex condoms. Funny thing, I'm not allergic to latex. And even if I was, she would have had no way of knowing and it would have been non of her business to tell if she did. I confronted her freshman year the day after I heard what she said. She never said anything about me again, or if she did she was careful enough that she only said it to people that wouldn't let it get back to me). Or, if it seems like the whole world already knows, ignore it and/or laugh it off and just inform people of the truth as they approach you. It doesn't matter what they think or believe.

And who cares if he doesn't know what he's doing after school. He can join the boat with me and a million other students. I'm nearly half way through college and still not entirely sure what I'm doing after. I've got plans A-D and still don't know if I'll even want to go with any of them when I graduate.

Okie guys after talking to my good friend and seeing how ridiculus this has been, I have no problem going to prom with him. Peer pressure is hard, wow relee hard. But its not a big deal and I know I'm going to have a good time. It depends on me.Thanks to everyone for your help, this site is great :)

It always makes me happy when people, especially the teens, come back with responses like that :D I'm proud of you for doing the right thing and being so mature. I'm sure you will have a good time. Like you said, its up to you to make the best of any situation you're in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by justcurious55

it always makes me happy when people, especially the teens, come back with responses like that :D i'm proud of you for doing the right thing and being so mature. i'm sure you will have a good time. like you said, its up to you to make the best of any situation you're in.

Aww that just made my day haha :)

I think you should just nicely ask him, "you know, Bill, I just wanted to make sure - are you ok going to the date with just a friend? I am hearing all these rumors and well, I just thought I should let you know that if you aren't comfortable going with someone who's just a friend, I would understand if you'd rather ask someone else". That way, you aren't being nasty or ditching him but you are setting the record straight. If he wants a romantic date, he can get out of it. If he is comfortable going as friends, you need to go in that capacity.

It will help to be with a bunch of friends - dance a few fast dances with him, have dinner together, include him with your friends - using a sense of humor will help a lot like taking silly group pictures instead of faking that you're like a romantic couple. You owe it to him and yourself to have fun, but do not send any mixed messages.

okie so everyone, i went to prom on friday and i just wanted to do a follow up. It was akward as heck. Everyone was huggy and all with their dates, but i was so distanced etc but still tried to be nice. He was quiet and all but he was a gentalman and his mom was so sweet and all i didn't want to be a jerk (ps i'm not yelling, i just want my text to stand out. Lol ) its like that hannah montana episode, don't ask my why i know that haha. But i was so uncomfertable and i think he thinks i like him and i tried clearing it up with him. I went to school dreading and some people did ask and say that i looked sort of upset. It was so akward and his mom was helping out with the post prom we went to at school first , etc. prom was okie... and school was akward. The harmless teasing was also really upsetting and then today he puts up a profile pic of me and him on fb with a suggestive caption that we are sort of together. I over reacted and commented "WTH IS THIS???" and texted him to delete it. (im sick right now an not in the best mood) he changed the profile pic but did not delete ours and deleted my comments. I apologized for sounding mean but yea.
i just sort of danced with him when people where grinding and my friend kept telling me to dance with him so i sort of did but i didn't want to be mean so i took his hand for just a few songs cause we never touched and he thought it meant something and i knowwwwwww he will sice it so much with the profile pic and everything else. Ughhhhhhh last few weeks of hs and it's a disaster. Please it does botther me whether it was right or not for it to bother me, it still is and i hate it. I feel so upset. Help me feel better
haha i sound so pathetic. I regret it so much. I delibrately made this worse. And the other guy who wanted to go with me said i should have just gone with him, i mean we liked each other anyway. Ughh people say he looks funny and i know its mean but having random people say that really does make u feel bad. What should i do?
and even if he knows i don't like him, he will continue to tell EVERYONE in the school :( :( :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rize

OKIE SO EVERYONE, I WENT TO PROM ON FRIDAY AND I JUST WANTED TO DO A FOLLOW UP. IT WAS AKWARD AS HECK. EVERYONE WAS HUGGY AND ALL WITH THEIR DATES, BUT I WAS SO DISTANCED ETC BUT STILL TRIED TO BE NICE. HE WAS QUIET AND ALL BUT HE WAS A GENTALMAN AND HIS MOM WAS SO SWEET AND ALL I DIDNT WANT TO BE A JERK (PS I'M NOT YELLING, I JUST WANT MY TEXT TO STAND OUT. LOL ) ITS LIKE THAT HANNAH MONTANA EPISODE, DON'T ASK MY WHY I KNOW THAT HAHA. BUT I WAS SO UNCOMFERTABLE AND I THINK HE THINKS I LIKE HIM AND I TRIED CLEARING IT UP WITH HIM. I WENT TO SCHOOL DREADING AND SOME PEOPLE DID ASK AND SAY THAT I LOOKED SORTA UPSET. IT WAS SO AKWARD AND HIS MOM WAS HELPING OUT WITH THE POST PROM WE WENT TO AT SCHOOL FIRST AND ETC. PROM WAS OKIE.... AND SCHOOL WAS AKWARD. THE HARMLESS TEASING WAS ALSO REALLY UPSETTING AND THEN TODAY HE PUTS UP A PROFILE PIC OF ME AND HIM ON FB WITH A SUGGESTIVE CAPTION THAT WE ARE SORTA TOGETHER. i OVER REACTED AND COMMENTED "WTH IS THIS???" AND TEXTED HIM TO DELETE IT. (IM SICK RIGHT NOW AN NOT IN THE BEST MOOD) HE CHANGED THE PROFILE PIC BUT DID NOT DELETE OURS AND DELETED MY COMMENTS. I APOLOGIZED FOR SOUNDING MEAN BUT YEA.
I JUST SORTA DANCED WITH HIM WHEN PEOPLE WHERE GRINDING AND MY FRIEND KEPT TELLING ME TO DANCE WITH HIM SO I SORTA DID BUT I DIDNT WANT TO BE MEAN SO I TOOK HIS HAND FOR JUST A FEW SONGS CAUSE WE NEVER TOUCHED AND HE THOUGHT IT MENT SOMETHING AND I KNOWWWWWWW HE WILL SICE IT SO MUCH WITH THE PROFILE PIC AND EVERYTHING ELSE. UGHHHHHHH LAST FEW WEEKS OF HS AND ITS A DISASTER. PLEASE IT DOES BOTTHER ME WHETHER IT WAS RIGHT OR NOT FOR IT TO BOTHER ME, IT STILL IS AND I HATE IT. I FEEL SO UPSET. HELP ME FEEL BETTER
HAHA I SOUND SO PATHETIC. I REGRET IT SO MUCH. I DELIBRATELY MADE THIS WORSE. AND THE OTHER GUY WHO WANTED TO GO WITH ME SAID I SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE WITH HIM, I MEAN WE LIKED EACHOTHER ANYWAY. UGHH PEOPLE SAY HE LOOKS FUNNY AND I KNOW ITS MEAN BUT HAVING RANDOM PEOPLE SAY THAT REALLY DOES MAKE U FEEL BAD. WHAT SHOULD I DO??
AND EVEN IF HE KNOWS I DON'T LIKE HIM, HE WILL CONTINUE TO TELL EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL :( :( :(

I am sorry it didn't turn out well... At least you tried to be nice. I know it must be really frustrating, and clearly you are trying to alleviate your stress/anger by writing it on a forum lol. If what you are saying is true, this guy is kind of a creep. Because I am not a girl, I don't know exactly what to do in your situation. I would just suggest talking to him about it like seriously, and make it clear that you don't like him. If he is reasonably sane, then he would probably stop stalking you or posting some bizarre pictures or whatever. You just need to make it very clear that you don't like him. Even though school is probably almost over for you, I personally think its best to bring some sort of a closure to the situation.:) hope that helps, and don't be too upset if it doesn't work... I mean come on, no offense, you might be slightly overeacting :)!