My relation with my wife.
I met my wife whom I married last year 4 years back at office. We were in the same department and fell in love with each other. Our family came to know of the affair after two years. She confessed the same to her mother and said that she wanted to marry me. Her parents were at first apprehensive as we were from different castes. But she insisted that she won't marry anyone else and that she loved me a lot. Finally our parents agreed and the date for our wedding was finalized.
But just before three-four I found her behavior towards me had changed. She did not allow me even to hold her hand or even sit near her. I asked her what was the matter but she said "nothing". This lasted for nearly 2 months. I was going mad by her ways. I was not able even to sleep. I even started to shout at her for her behavior. But finally one day when I forced her, she said that she was in love with some one else. She said she was sorry and want to make everything as it was earlier. She said that she would leave him and asked me to forgive her. I was shocked. Never did I expect that from her. She said that it was my behavior that made her move away from me. I agree I had become too possessive for her and many times behaved in ways that were really really bad or the worst. She said it was for me to decide whether we must get married or not. She said she did not want this to happen but it did happen and she feels guilty for what she did.
That night I could not sleep. I did not know what to do. Finally I decided to forget everything and start everything from the scratch. Early morning I visited the temple and bought a bunch of red roses for her on the way. She arrived at my house [we stay alone away from our native place] after an hour. I proposed her and gave her the bunch. She hugged me. I had been waiting for it for nearly 4 months. She started crying and said she would not leave me.
Now we are married. It has been six months of our marriage now. She kept her promise. She has since then never talked to that guy. She have done everything possible to make me happy. But I am not being able to forget everything that had happened. My mind is always occupied with this thoughts. I am unable to sleep. When ever I try to be closer to her, I feel that the other guy was too close to her in the same way. I am going mad. I slapped my wife today for the same when she had done nothing. This has happened many times in the past six months. She says she accepts her fault and do not feel bad when I slap her. She says that I must forget everything and must not spoil our present and future. But it is me who cannot be normal any more. I feel bad later and love her. But the situation repeats again. Once I broke her nose and she had to be taken to hospital. I know what I am doing is not correct. But it happens. Please suggest me ways to be normal. I am afraid that this may take a serious turn one day.
Is this Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD]? Is there any ways to make me normal. I go mad if someone utters his name or see his name written somewhere. Please help. I am dying a slow death.
