I dumped my girlfriend then she died...

My ex was suffering in hospital to the point where I offered my lung to keep her going...

she turned it down and told me everything was fine. After a couple more phone calls she reassures me all is good. But inside I couldn't take it..

I got confused, scared, unexperianced in these situations I was selfish and broke up with her.. then days later she past away...

since she has gone it has done nothing but motivated me to be a better person and not to waste a day. But with her absence come many souless nights where all I can think of is our last phone call together (the break up).

I don't know why I'm typing this, I guess I kind of hope someone els has had some similar events and may have some advice.. or at least wouldn't mind talking about it as I really don't have anyone that can understand my situation..

thanks for reading

x x x

The last words I had with my first wife, were painful words of anger. She died shortly afterwards. No way to take those words back ( even if she lived, words can never be taken back)

When you are faced with death and dying of a loved one, sometimes it brings out emotions that under normal circumstances you would never experience. The raw feelings of facing the inevitable, and all the hurt, confusion, anger and sadness just seems to sometimes take over.

It is one of those things you look back on afterwards and wonder where it all came from, and as much as you'd like to take it all back, and say and do the right and proper things, you can't. Human nature under extreme distress, is unpredictable.

And then there is grieving the loss itself, and that takes time and patience, and courage in my opinion, to allow nature to take its course in helping you work through the loss naturally. We all go through it at some point.

There is no right or wrong, you feel what you feel, and say and do things that have, I'm sure, been forgiven.

You were confused, scared, inexperienced and selfish as you said, but you cannot fault yourself for how you reacted. It is not something you can predict, or prepare for. You are only human after all.

In time, you will replace the bad memories, with all the good times you had together, and accept that she is gone. You might try writing out a letter to her, and explain that even you cannot understand why you felt the way you did, or why you did what you did. Ask her to forgive you, say your goodbye's, and tuck the letter away somewhere.

A year ago, Christmas Day the police called me to tell me that a good friend of mine had died, suspected suicide. All she had on her was my name and phone number. I went through so many emotions for such a long time, especially anger at her that she just didn't pick up the phone and call me. But, even after all the aftermath of what she had done, I had no choice but to do what I'm saying might help you. I wrote her a long letter, wished her well on her journey, and said goodbye.

Good luck to you, you will heal. Time and patience is on your side.

Grieving is difficult, no matter what the circumstances are. Guilt doesn't help anyone.

You did what you thought was best at the time - and that's what you have to remember.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

The last words I had with my first wife, were painful words of anger. She died shortly afterwards. No way to take those words back ( even if she lived, words can never be taken back)

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Absolutely serious - every time I read this I tear up. I can't imagine your pain. I try very hard to never part company in anger with anyone I love.

I end phone calls with my husband with I love you.

This post, however tragic, is a wakeup call!