First off, you should know that I'm 14. Yes, I'm too young to be worrying about serious relationships and all, but what's done is done and I just really need some advice right now, please.
My boyfriend and I had been in a great relationship for 14 months. We stood by each other through the good and bad, and had many first experiences together. We loved each other very much. About two weeks ago, he texted me saying that he felt it was time for a change. I was his first girlfriend, and he thought it was healthy for him to have more experiences. Naturally, I was heartbroken, but at least I didn't beg him to take me back, I just gave him some space for a little while. Then he started to skip school 3 to 4 days a week to smoke weed and cigarettes and apparently hang out with his new (slutty) girlfriend. He became distant from his old friends and started acting angry whenever I tried work things out with him because he's too stubborn to admit when he's wrong. He told me a few days after they started dating (which was only two days after he dumped me) that they broke up, but I heard from friends that he became her "boy toy". He would never do anything at all like that when he was with me! A week after the break-up and not talking to each other, he texted and suggested to meet at my neighborhood pool to sort things out. I ended up doing most of the talking, but then we both admitted that we wanted to be with each other, and regrettably we had sex right then and there. We went for a walk and decided that was an awful idea, but I had thought he would go back to me at that point! He told me that he wanted to be friends, and hopefully that would build up into our relationship again. I agreed. I found out today that he asked out the loose girl again the day after we met up at night. I haven't started any of our conversations, but he texted me this morning telling me to look up a song (Forever by Papa Roach) because it was exactly how he felt. The song ended up being about the guy doing all these stupid things after an unfortunate break-up, and that he would always have feelings for the girl. I texted him saying I heard the song, and after a bit I told him I didn't think we should be friends because it would cause more heartbreak. He replied "FINE! We don't have to be friends." After that, everything went downhill. He went on to say that I don't give a (which of course isn't true) and that he doesn't care anymore. I wonder if he is just trying to tell himself that he can tough it out, but if that song showed his true feelings, he wouldn't let this change his mind. On the other hand, neither of us really know what's going on with him anymore. I said, "I know you well enough to know when you're mad" after he denied it, and he replied "You don't know about me." What the hell does that mean? I know everything about his life that he could possibly explain, except what's happening now. He says I need to make up my mind: be friends with him or not. I want to keep him regretting the decision to break up, and I don't want him mad at me, but if we became friends I'm worried he would act as if nothing happened and be content with himself. I think we just need time to think, but he's convinced that if we don't become friends now, we never will again. This is probably just a phase, right? He's really screwing with me, and lately it's like I'm talking to a completely different person because nothing is getting through to him. :(

This is a big time for him to define himself. It looks to me like he went down the wrong path. He got sucked in by the evil temptress and now something else has a hold on his life, drugs. He is going to go from bad to worse if he isn't stopped.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about this except turn him in for it. Might help him out. He isn't into have a real relationship right now from the sounds of it, sounds like he is just wanting fun right now. And FYI at 14 you sure as heck should not be having sex! God kids these days!!

What if you get pregnant? You think you can take care of a baby at the age of 14? What else could you do? Dump it on someone's doorstep? You'd be luck if the birth itself doesn't kill you. And on top of that he certainly ain't going to make a good daddy either. And you can spout all the bull crap you want to about protection but remember that nothing is 100% effective and you could have a baby in you right now. My sister is older than you and she has barely kissed at boy. She isn't stupid!

Its important for you and him to both date around. That's DATE around, not SLEEP around. Delete his number from your phone, don't respond to txts/calls, block him on myspace, Facebook, aim, anything else you might be able to talk to him through, email-all of it. Its time to move on from him. Things will never go back to what they were. And that's probably really for the best even if it doesn't feel like it now. You can only be in control of your choices, not his. If you're really that worried about what he's up to, call his mother. Let her deal with him. You need to focus on you. Focus on school, your girlfriends, your hobbies. And keep your legs together until you're ready for a child or lifelong std. you're too young for sex, whether you want to believe that either.

Of course he wants to be friends, since you have proven that's all it takes to give him sex, and that's all he wants from you, a bit on the side.

For whatever reason he has taken a turn for the worst, and you must protect yourself by staying out of his life.

Sorry, but having sex never keeps someone around. Especially at your age. He has used your feelings against you once, don't fall for that crap again. He is not the same guy any more, and that old guy may never come back, EVER!

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After a 14-month relationship, my boyfriend decided to leave me to experience other girlfriends, as I was his first one. I think that's pretty damn selfish. Two days later, he asked out a junior (we're freshmen) and has had an on-off relationship with her- people say she's pretty loose. My guy friend has been there for me, to help me through this, and last week we both admitted that we like each other. In the class I have with that friend, he showed me a text from my ex telling him to date me if that's what he wants. It was a long text, too, and it sounded as though he was giving my friend permission to date me. I know we can't right now though, because he has a girlfriend already. Why was my ex saying that to my friend?

Because he doesn't mind passing you around to others, as that gets you out of his hair.

Leave them both alone because it looks like he tells others you're a free piece.

Why would you allow someone who is taken to even think they had a chance as that in itself is a slut move. Your better than that.

You better rethink this sex thing, or take a chance of getting a lot of attention, and no love.

First of all, I think it's so funny how you label some other girl to be "loose" as you put it, when you have sex with him right after you met at the pool. Little hypocritical, don't you think?
You kids toady are truly amazing. You know, thinking your so ready for things like relationships and sex. What did you say, you were 14 or something?
Here's some advice, stop trying to involve yourself into adult things, when your not even physically or mentally mature enough to handle what your getting yourself into.
My suggestion, talk to your parents. Don't expect any adults on here to condone your premiscuious behavior, and just try to put more effort into making good grades in school, and obeying your parents rules.
Trust me, you will have plenty of time in your life to worry about such "dire" situations.
Relax, and just enjoy being a 14 year old while you still can.

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My ex, who dated me for 14 months and broke up with me three weeks ago to see other people, is confusing me very much. From what he says, the break-up wasn't my fault, he just needed more experiences, which means he lied about promising to stay with me forever, our plans for the future, all that stuff. It really hurt, I had so many hopes for us! Anyway, he's told me a few times that he wants to be friends. Once he simply said it was "because you're a good friend", another time he said it was so "we can be friends right now and build up an even stronger relationship". He's with a rebound girl right now, who he claims to not like all thatg much. He's changed quite a bit, in that he's in with a bad crowd now, which makes it even harder to be friends with him. He's also unintentionally being a jerk sometimes. Deep down, though, I want to be with him. I want him to realize this is wrong and that we were perfect for each other. He tries to make conversation with me in the class we have together, and today he even sounded pretty upset when he heard my dad lost respect for him. He asks about my life, even my love life, which I'm afraid to do to him because I don't need any more bad news. However, after school when we usually hang out with our mutual friends by the parking lot, he sort of "drifts" toward where I'm standing at the moment, but still never says a word to me or his other friends. If I should talk to him, what would I say? It just feels awkward trying to have a casual conversation with your ex. I don't want to lose his interest just because he thinks I don't care... Advice would be greatly appreciated :D

Er, how can you be 'perfect' for each other when it's all over?

Get a reality check (please), you're at school - talking about being together forever is unrealistic. Forever is a looong time. Of course he needed more experiences - and so do you.

As for seeing him in the parking lot, just say 'hi'. He has lost the right to ask you about your love life, and you're right to not ask about his!

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My ex, who broke up with me three weeks ago because he's never had any other girlfriends, is acting really weird. He's becoming much more reckless, and skips school all the time lately to be with his new group of friends. The thing is, he still texts me, being the first to start the conversation. He also kind of follows me when I'm talking to friends at school, when he doesn't get a ride from his new girlfriend. Another thing is that he's always trying to talk to me in the class we have together. The actually bad part is that when he does talk to me, he acts like a total douche! He tells me about his new lifestyle, as if he were showing off, even though he knows I would never approve... and teases me as if we were still together- now he does NOT have that privilege, and I unsuccessfully try to repel him after that. I hadn't been troublesome to him at all during the break-up, but now I'm trying to make it clear that he's pissing me off and that this isn't a game. It's not getting through to him! Is there any way to get him to talk to me civilly?

Tell him that you choose not to interact with him, and you have no desire what-so-ever to hear about his life. Tell him to grow up, and leave you alone.

I wish you luck on the next one.

Yes there is and that's by rejecting his conversations and getting focused on new friends, or other friends.

Its you who allow him the opportunity to talk like a douche bag to you, And its you that allows him to distract you with his behavior, which you have written he has changed and has gone for bad.

Stop trying to convince him To change back to the way he was and leave him alone, even when he approaches you first. That's your problem, you don't know how to reject his presence and that starts with you TELLING him to leave YOU alone with his BS, and standing up for yourself, and not just let him give you crap.

He thinks he can just do whatever he pleases around you, because he thinks you like that from him, so set him straight.