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-   -   I was 17 when my daughter was born; my daughters mother was 16. We had a lot of prob (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=463524)

  • Apr 8, 2010, 08:43 PM
    roci1969
    I was 17 when my daughter was born; my daughter’s mother was 16. We had a lot of prob
    I was on my teenage years when my daughter was born; my daughter’s mother was also a teen. We had a lot of problems and decided to go separate ways. The lady and her family took me into court, I attended two sections, but the last section they mentioned to the judge that I was an illegal immigrant, which I was. I decided not to come back to court, because I was afraid I could be deported out of this country and I would never be able to see my daughter again. The time passed and I tried to see my daughter but they wouldn't allow me. I would send her money, but still I couldn't get any visitation. I tried and tried until my daughter was eight years old, and then I felt really frustrated, everything was a problem with my daughters mother, she would send me phone #s supposedly telling me that I could speak to my daughter, but It never happened. I decided to give up. Two weeks ago I found my daughter, and met with her, we were both really happy, but again the mother is in the middle and started telling my daughter things that don’t make sense. The only thing she wants is money. I don’t mind helping my daughter financially, but I think the mother is guilty from everything that happened to us. After two weeks my daughter doesn't want to speak to me anymore and I feel frustrated again, this is really painful for me, I didn't tell my daughter why I decided to step aside, because I truly don’t want to hurt her. Advice what are my legal rights and what are the laws as far as child support obligations(NY city)?
  • Apr 8, 2010, 09:36 PM
    roci1969
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++
  • Apr 8, 2010, 10:44 PM
    hheath541

    Are you legal now? Or still staying in the country illegally? I'm not sure you'd be able to accomplish much if you're still illegal.
  • Apr 10, 2010, 10:27 AM
    roci1969
    My legal status has changed for sometime now..
  • Apr 10, 2010, 11:21 AM
    AK lawyer


    You should check the court records to find out what happened after you stopped coming. My guess would be that there is a child support order in place, meaning that you owe the mother plenty of back CS. There may also be some sort of visitation rights specified for you.

    How old is your daughter?
  • Apr 11, 2010, 09:05 AM
    roci1969

    Thanks. She is twenty two.
  • Apr 11, 2010, 09:10 AM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by roci1969 View Post
    Thanks. She is twenty two.

    In that case, ordered visitation is moot. You probably still owe CS.
  • Apr 11, 2010, 09:46 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    You should tell her the complete truth, she has heard just what her mother has said for 22 years.

    Also take the blame, you decided not to be legal

    You decided not to go to court to fight for any visits

    For what you owe, if there was a child support order in place, you owe that.
  • Apr 11, 2010, 12:45 PM
    JudyKayTee

    You sent her "some money" over the years? How much? Enough to feed and clothe her?

    Sorry but you sound like very other parent who walks away until the child is of legal majority and then walks back in and can't figure out why the parent who was there and kept a roof over the child's head, shoes on the child's feet and food in the child's stomach is upset.

    Maybe your daughter will believe your explanation, maybe she won't. Maybe she'll understand why you walked away and maybe she won't. She's an adult and able to make her own decisions but I do understand this from her mother's point of view.

    Glad you were able to straighten your life out. When did you come "legal"?

    Too bad you did it at the expense of supporting and being there for your child.

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