Sometimes I am sure that I already know the answers to my own questions, and that frightens me because I want to be wrong. I don't want to know. In fact I wouln't mind knowing things if they were going to work out the way I wanted them too.
For instance. I am tired of being alone. Raising my great kids by myself and struggling to get my business off the ground. I know we will make it, but I also know it will be by ourselves.
Can you tell me I am wrong and that my soul mate is out there and I don't have to wait much longer? Sometimes I am so lonely I just don't know if I have been forgotten by the Almighty. (Lord forgive me for that).
I don't frequent bars or clubs. I work 60 to 70 hours a week to support my family. That is finally slowing down though. Give me a hint. Where is the guy? Have I met him and looked right through him? Is it not time? Or am I right, and it just isn't the right time and I am meant to be alone for a few more years?
On top of that, my 8 year old son is suffering from bi-polar,adhd,terets, odd, even a few other disorders. I am having to really battle it out with his dad to get him treatment. My son is sooo unhappy. I have no support system in this. He is violent, aggressive, depressed, talks of suicide, oh, how it hurts my soul. I work so hard to pay the dr.s to help him because his father won't help out at all. That just creates more stress.
Is there really a man out there that can and will take all this on? All I see in my own mind, when I meditate, is that the time is not anytime soon.
Oh, I hope that is my fear and you can tell me I am wrong.
Please know that I am waiting for an your response as patiently as possible.
