Hi there first time poster and I was kind of looking for some advise. I am leaving with the army in about one month and I recently caught my wife sexting with someone I called my best friend.she swears up and down that it was a huge mistake and if she could take it back she would. But now I can't even look at her without thinking about the sexually explicit stuff she said to him. And we have been married 3 years together 5 and two kids. How di I forgive her. How do I get over it. Someone has to have some good advise cause I'm going crazy...

Ask her why she did it ? You need to know if she is sexually dissatisfied or otherwise emotionally. If it was only the sex discuss it but was she involved emotionally ? That is a bigger problem. Talk it out...

Wow what a bad time to find this out. You're about to leave and all that... yikes. I say just try and work it out with her, she is your wife. But its time to have her NOT TALK TO your now EX best friend. You do not need her lonely and looking for him when you are away. And she should and in my opinion dang well better respect your word. She better drop all contact with this person and she better lose that number real fast!

I'd say there is little you can do when your wife of three years, and the mother of your two children, decides to have text sex with another man, and that man happens to be your (now ex) best friend.

That you caught her, only means you've caught her once. Most likely this 'relationship' has gone on for some time; I don't think people do sexting until they are comfortable enough with their partner, which means it likely would have gone unchecked had you not caught her by accident.

Aren't cheaters oh so sorry when they get caught... boo hoo. Suddenly they justify their behaviour as being needy, or they did it because you didn't pay attention to her enough, or you didn't understand her, or she was feeling lost, and alone and you were glued to the TV.

Millions may disagree, but sexting (and related get togethers, phone calls, emails etc.) in my mind is cheating. I don't get the impression that, had she not been caught, that she would have done the right thing in the first place, i.e. stop the contact with the other man, delete his contact information, fess up to you that there is a 'problem' developing here, seek help, counselling, guidance, etc. etc. etc.

She had choices and she chose a relationship with the other man over you, over her marriage, over her family, and over her future.

I feel very sorry for you that you have to face this and then turn around in a month and be deployed. It is truly a double whammy for you as you've also lost your best friend.

Good luck in sorting this out, and getting to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, as I think you have only seen the result of what has happened between them, and know nothing of the history.

Try to get into counselling to at least arrange some basic goals and expectations while you are away, and maybe she is remorseful and respectful enough to follow some boundaries, until you are home and you can work this out together.

I wish you well, you don't deserve this, and God bless you for your service.

Thanks jake and I agree 100 percent that it is cheating but she said she doesn't see it that its only words.. No different then if I say jennifer aniston is hot and wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. But the divrce lawyer I seen said that it is adultery and she would have a hard time proving otherwise... But again that you all for the comments and it really does suck guess I now know why he decided not to join knowing I was leaving.. God bless you all and be safe..

I'm so sorry iceman. So sorry :(

Well I feel your pain dude I been married 3 years 3 kids and came home and found sexting messages on wife's phone to cuzs loser friend wow to me it's the same as cheating even though nothing happened physically marriage is mostly about trust and after that trust will never recover and resentment will set in so I think better to just find a good loyal woman who has good morals