Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend wants to break up / move on.. Help?

Okay guys I'm basically going to tell you what happened..

I have a girlfriend that I'm deeply in love with for 2 years and she loves me a lot too. We talked about how we're going to spend the rest of our lives together and go to the same college and have a wonderful life. Usually we argue.. and that sometimes leads to a break up but we solve the problem when we get back together (as the break up doesn't last long.. )

But now moving onto the real thing. She has a female best friend and the stuff that they would talk about would make me think stuff. Like the things my girlfriend would say would make me uncomfortable and when I ask about it she says it's her bestfriends problem and she was helping her out.. Later on that day we were at a baseball game and I basically said I need space (space from her at the game) so I can clear my head and my bad vibes.. (she knew I had bad vibes because I mentioned them to her earlier in the day when we were both happy and had a conversation about our future.. which was good).. so she was like OK.

I asked her if she was able to call me the same night and she basically told me that she wanted to move on. I was like wow.. in shock I couldn't sleep that night and she said she would call me back.. Well that didn't happen.. the next day we didn't say TOO much to each other but I wrote a note saying how I feel and how much I love her.. She said she was confused because I broke up with her and now I'm telling her how much I want to be with her? Im like no no that's not what I meant when I said the thing about space.. She was like well your confusing me! She told her friends and she told other people also..

But she told me she needed definite answers from me and that she would call me the other night.. but that never happened.. I texted her in the morning and she was like she made up her mind and that she just wants to be friends but I told her I didn't want to be friends and she was like I don't want to be enemies with you.. but I was asking questions like why you want to do this and like what made you do this. And she was like she doesn't want to keep doing the same thing ova (which confused me?) but she was like Stop asking me these questions... your like harrasin me or w/e..

Well I can't stop thinking about this girl so I told her when she wants to finally tell me the truth or w/e just call or text me.. you know.. but I can't stop thinking about her and how much I love her and be with her so its killing me inside.. she finally txted me last night but it was like what you doing.. a couple text nothing major and that was that..

The breakup happened on Wednesday and today's Sunday.. for some reason I don't even think she's handling this situation as bad as I am..

Help? What shall I do? @ School I see her for 3hours and then I have baseball practice where she's the manager..

Sounds to me that she doesn't have the same feeling for you as she did in the beginning. If someone loves you they will do everything to work things out not apart but together. Your girl sounds like my ex, she lets her friends influence her decisions, believe me or not but actions speaks louder then words. You don't need this kind of girl, If you two ever do get back together it will end up being the same. Nothing will change like what you said you guys had a break up here and there. Start doing NO CONTACT not to get her back but to let your mind think logically. The more you try to contact her the more she will avoid you. And if you can quit your baseball team cause she is your manager just my advice.

How old are you guys? Are you still in high school?

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Originally Posted by Showme_urmove

sounds to me that she doesnt have the same feeling for you as she did in the beginning. If someone loves you they will do everything to work things out not apart but together. ur girl sounds like my ex, she lets her friends influence her decisions, believe me or not but actions speaks louder then words. You dont need this kind of girl, If you two ever do get back together it will end up being the same. Nothing will change like what you said you guys had a break up here and there. Start doing NO CONTACT not to get her back but to let your mind think logically. The more you try to contact her the more she will avoid you. And if you can quit your baseball team cause she is your manager just my advice.

How old are you guys? are you still in high school?

We're 17 & 18.. and I couldn't let my team down like that when we've already spent hundreds or dollars to get the team together for the last year..

Hey man

It sucks when girls get influenced by their friends and whatnot... but that may not be the case. You said you guys break up off and on, and in a relationship that's over 2 years, that's not healthy dude.

Your only 18, this is your prime bud. When you look back 12 years from now when your 30 do you really want to say you spent your years with a girl when all you did was break up/get back together rinse and repeat?

Your 18... I hate to say it but the odds are against you as harsh as that sounds. Maybe 1% of people in the world marry their high school sweetheart or first love. If, and I mean IF you want to heal, do what the others suggest and don't keep in touch with her. You hurt yourself more and more, and push her farther away.

Another thing, just because you two aren't dating, doesn't mean you have to be enemies. I split up with my ex of 3 years 2 months ago... and she wanted to do the friends thing, but realistically that wasn't possible as you can't be friends with someone whom you are still in love with. However, you can end things peacefully, so that if you two do re establish contact down the line there are no bad memories to fall back on. No contact... its a way of life lol

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Originally Posted by the_original

hey man

it sucks when girls get influenced by their friends and whatnot...but that may not be the case. you said you guys break up off and on, and in a relationship thats over 2 years, thats not healthy dude.

your only 18, this is your prime bud. when you look back 12 years from now when your 30 do you really want to say you spent your years with a girl when all you did was break up/get back together rinse and repeat?

Your 18.....i hate to say it but the odds are against you as harsh as that sounds. maybe 1% of people in the world marry their highschool sweetheart or first love. If, and I mean IF you want to heal, do what the others suggest and dont keep in touch with her. You hurt yourself more and more, and push her farther away.

Another thing, just because you two aren't dating, doesn't mean you have to be enemies. I split up with my ex of 3 years 2 months ago....and she wanted to do the friends thing, but realistically that wasn't possible as you can't be friends with someone whom you are still in love with. However, you can end things peacefully, so that if you two do re establish contact down the line there are no bad memories to fall back on. No contact.....its a way of life lol

The way I look at what I said.. I take it back.. I didn't mean this was like an off & on relationship.. We only broke up like 3-4 times over-all and we got back together with each other right after we solved the problems or w/e..

OK, You have problems with her and her friends and you are the one that said you want a break from her and she said OK.
So what is the problem, why is she the bad person? What is it she needs to tell you the truth about? She said she just wants to be friends.

You got what you asked for and she has decided the break up is OK with her, accept it.

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We talked about how we're going to spend the rest of our lives together and go to the same college and have a wonderful life.

That's very typical for young people who have been together a while and don't think things will ever change. Its mostly just caught in the moment talking and fantasy playing that everyone who has some one does.

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Usually we argue.. and that sometimes leads to a break up but we solve the problem when we get back together (as the break up doesn't last long.. )

A clear signal that some where there is a lack of communications, or understanding what each other means.

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Later on that day we were at a baseball game and I basically said I need space (space from her at the game) so I can clear my head and my bad vibes.. (she knew I had bad vibes because I mentioned them to her earlier in the day when we were both happy and had a conversation about our future.. which was good).. so she was like OK.

Yet more lack of understanding through poor communications. You were not specific, and she misunderstood what you were saying. You could have said "excuse me but I will be back in a few". Also what was a bad vibe about? That may have played on her mind too! When you don't express yourself, specifically, misunderstandings happen, and you should have figured that out from past history.

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She said she was confused because I broke up with her and now I'm telling her how much I want to be with her? Im like no no that's not what I meant when I said the thing about space.. She was like well your confusing me! She told her friends and she told other people also..

Why you just didn't apologize for the misunderstanding and tell her what you meant, is beyond me, but now she is tired of the confusion about expressing yourself and being understood.

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Well I can't stop thinking about this girl so I told her when she wants to finally tell me the truth or w/e just call or text me.. you know..

So now she is supposed to convince you how she feels huh? That's rather insecure of you.

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she finally texted me last night but it was like what you doing.. a couple text nothing major and that was that..

So you passed up another opportunity to straighten things out, "Hey sorry for the misunderstanding, I seem to have a problem expressing myself well enough for you to understand me, and I would surely like to explain.".

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for some reason I don't even think she's handling this situation as bad as I am..

It always seems that way when your caught up in emotions and are confused.

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Help? What shall I do?

Text her what I told you and see what she says and this time when given the opportunity, express yourself correctly, and stop being so insecure and taking things so personally. Your to carried away, and a lousy communicator, because you don't listen.

"Hey sorry for the misunderstanding, I seem to have a problem expressing myself well enough for you to understand me, and I would surely like to explain.".

Haha I love tals advice. He's right man listen to him before it's to late and you can't undo what's been done