OK, well my very first girlfriend who now is my ex, would always tell me that I don't "love her" I only love the concept of her... she would say that whenever I would tell her 'i love you', and quite often... I'm just wondering what does it really mean when someone tells you that? I mean what was she really trying to say?? Oh and the reason we broke up is because she never trusted me and she discovered some old myspace conversations. Our relationship lasted on and off for over 2 years, now we've been apart since 2008

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QUOTE by king702;
OK, well my very first girlfriend who now is my ex, would always tell me that I don't "love her" I only love the concept of her... she would say that whenever I would tell her 'i love you', and quite often...

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She was telling you she didn't believe you liked her as a person, but was just using her to say you had a girlfriend.

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I'm just wondering what does it really mean when someone tells you that? I mean what was she really trying to say??

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It means they are insecure with themselves, and don't really believe what your telling them. For whatever reasons, probably from bad experiences or a low self esteem. She may have just been looking for more reassurances from you.

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oh and the reason we broke up is because she never trusted me and she discovered some old myspace conversations. Our relationship lasted on and off for over 2 years, now we've been apart since 2008

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She was more than likely a very insecure person to begin with, and was looking for reasons not to believe you. Whether by things you did, or she thought you did. It really matters little since she probably would have made something up, if nothing else.

Hope you have moved beyond her and know sometimes its hard to understand what people are saying, or thinking, so don't take it to personally.

I really would not let this bother you. It has been 12 years and if she has not changed her mind she isn't going to. She just sounds really immature and it sounds like she was just saying those things to you to make you feel guilty, maybe she was hoping you would do something more for her to show her how you felt for her rather than you telling her all the time.

She was telling you that you liked the idea of being in love but you didn't actually mean you were in love.

She second guessed you, not good but that's what she has done.

Actions speak louder than words, and talk is cheap. Showing love and saying I love You aren't the same thing.