I'm in high school for starters. I'm 17, in 11th grade
She's in my grade. But she has been dating a guy that is a freshman in college for almost two years now, they are currently now in a long distance relationship

For the past two months, we have been talking, and I found out she likes me, because she told me. I told her I liked her as well.
Mind you, she's one of those really nice innocent girls, so she's not a slut or anything like that.

We were talking a lot, and liking each other more and more, up to about a month ago, I just told her I liked her a lot, and she told me she did too, but she can't break up with her boyfriend. So I said OK maybe we should distance ourselves. Then I didn't talk to her for two days, and then I told her this has to stop and we should talk to each other again.
Then our relationship really picked up. We'd talk on the phone till we fell asleep, hang out with eachohter, just cuddling and such a lot.
Her boyfriend visited last week.. and Idk, it just didn't seem like she cared all that much, sure she was happy he was here, but It didn't seem like she wanted to hang out with him 24 7, although its been 3 months she saw him.
Oh and she told me she said she maybe loves him. Like a month ago.
And she hung out with me too while he was here.
Then I finally told her last week that I didn't like how she had a boyfriend.
And she said OK, and that we should rewind a couple days, so we don't act like we're dating like we have been for the last week.
It felt like a couple weeks that she rewinded, so I confronted her. I asked her who'd she rather be with right now, and after half an hour of saying she can't choose and such, she said right now she'd be with him, although she likes us the same, that history means so much to her.
So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. She said she wouldn't talk to me until I talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that I was here for her.
I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday.

My plan is to wait until she talks to me? But what if she doesn't. Idk what to do.

And I realize that I don't want to give up, since I have a chance still don't I?
I never exactly told her how I feel, just that I really like her, and that I didn't like she has a boyfriend.

So what should I do?

Hello,

It sounds as if she wants the best of both worlds to me...

I can understand the fact that you really like her, however, this is very unfair for her boyfriend, you know that, right?

Tell her to poop or get off the can!

Until then, if I were you,I would cut off all lines of communications with her. I'm not trying to judge her, I just call it how I see it.

Also, let me ask you this, what's to say that if you two did hook up, that she wouldn't turn around have someone else on the back burner?

I think she doesn't want to change anything. She’d like to see both of you. She has both of you eating out of the palm of her hand.

If you would manage to take her away from her boyfriend, how do you think she would act when she is with you? When another guy comes along that she's attracted to, will she flirt with him on the side like she has with you?

Since you’ve already told her that you don’t want to see her secretly while she is in another relationship, then stop seeing her completely.

She’s already chosen him over you, so think enough of yourself to find someone who puts you first, not second, to someone she already has.

But like, I can feel that she likes me more.
She's just stuck to him because its her first relationship, and she doesn't want to break up with him because she doesn't want to hurt him

Like he told her if they broke up itd break his heart and he would never see another girl again.
Like comeon man what do you expect her to do?

Hi, whatisthis3!

Do you think that it would be okay for a person to date more than one person at a time?

Thanks!

No I don't think that!
That's why I think for her, it'd be best to break up with him and go with me.
She doesn't love him, (as she says) And he's not going to be here for her senior year..
I'm not being selfish, I'm thinking on her part too.

But, why not date more than one person? Also, how well does she know you, please?

Well that's cheating, and we don't really like that

We know each other very well. Almost every secret.

I dated many women during the same period. They also dated many men, too. It wasn't considered to be cheating then.

A lot of competition can happen in the dating scene. Also, when seeking out someone for a permanent relationship, it pays to shop around.

Do you think that she's the perfect one for you? Also, how much have you dated others, please?

Thanks!

Honestly, I've only dated like one person before.

But cheating is not in our minds, I'm sorry. Thanks for the help though!

Anyone else care to help me out?
Should I talk to her? Like say just hi or something?
I don't want to give up. I never told her how I truly feel..

There should be no problem with speaking with her. However, how about sending a card with a note in it?

I think you should leave her alone for now-its her relationship,and,yes she is in a relationship,so she is off limits.

If in future,she breaks up with the boyfriend,heals from the breakup and finds you again,so be it.


Don't put your life on hold,go live your own life.

A moral compas is important, it seems this girl is lacking, sinse: she can't tell her boyfriend she likes you (and leave him), but on the other hand she can't tell you "im allready with someone, back off"

I don't want to give up so sooooon..

Give up what? She is cheating on her boyfriend, and playing you. Call it what you will, since its not open and honest, but is behind his back its cheating.

So you're the sucker she has charmed into keeping her occupied, since her boyfriend is away. That means your helping her cheat.

But what could we expect from a female in her first relationship, and a guy who isn't that experienced in the ways of females, cheaters without knowing it(?).

When she made her choice, and she chose him, you should have left her alone. Truth be told, you know nothing of their relationship except what she has told you, and she knows for a fact how you feel about her. And you ain't going nowhere, because you're that hooked, and can't stop, knowing she has it both ways. That's not friends, its you following. You told her that's not what you wanted, even gave her an ultimatum, but its you who couldn't stop seeing her. Not her chasing you.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and thats only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- leave girls with boyfriends alone, and don't hold your breathe waiting for them to fail.

Talaniman Rule- If one female isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule- Get your own girlfriend and leave the other guys alone.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Sorry guy, she was quite clear, she sees you as a friend to keep her from being bored while her boyfriend is unavailable. If he was around she would have NO time for you at all, other than hi, and bye. What makes her wrong is, knowing how you feel she does nothing to discourage you chasing her.

What makes you wrong, after she chose him, you still chase her.

She has a boyfriend, and that makes you BOTH, very wrong but who gets the blame when the boyfriend finds out?

The guy who kept pursuing, after he was told NO, but couldn't walk away. So now tell us where is your dignity, or self respect? Can't you smell friend zone when it hits you in the nose?

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so what do I do.

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Leave her alone and get an honest female that will feel as you do, because this can't be fun, being a place holder for another guy.

Wow! Outstanding post, talaniman! :)

But I want to tell her how I truly feel.
I want to tell her to break up with him, and how I think things can work out with us and stuff
I just hear things from other people that their relationship isn't as strong as it was before.

And like I said, when he was here, she still saw me lots.
And she said if I asked her out she'd say yes.
She just seems stuck in her relationship, just afraid to hurt him. I just want to convince her and try one more time. Then I'll give up. I already lost a lot of diginity by chasing her this far

You should leave her alone, she has a boyfriend. Whether you think she is happy is immaterial. If and when she is ready to be with you, she will break up with her college boy friend. Until then leave her alone. How would you like it if someone was trying to get your girl?
You are trying to take something that belongs to someone else. Stop trying to justify it.

Advice:
Go back and re-read the whole thread and try to let the advice sink in.


She has a boyfriend=off limits.

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Originally Posted by whatisthis3

honestly, ive only dated like one person before.

but cheating is not in our minds, im sorry. thanks for the help though!

anyone else care to help me out?
Should I talk to her? like say just hi or something?
I dont want to give up. I never told her how i truly feel..

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I believe that every one has given you good advice! That advice was to leave her alone and that she has a boyfriend, so off limits!

So what I suggest, is that you take that good advice and run with it.