Should I give myself a break?
I hold myself to higher standards than everyone else. If it was someone else, I'd tell them it's okay. However, I have a hard time letting myself off the hook.
So I started working a month ago. This Wednesday and Thursday were my days off. Wednesday morning I found out our family dog passed away. She was with us since she was a baby (when I was two) and died at age 17.
Thursday, around midday, my grandma (mom's mom) passed away. She was in her late 80's and had pneumonia. She'd been pretty bad the day before and had many close encounters with death. She was ready.
Today (Friday) I gave blood for the second time in my life (I'm almost 19). I was going to go on my lunch break, but I decided to walk in beforehand so I wouldn't be late, even though my manager said it was OK. I ended up being late anyway, but I rushed to work. I was there 15 minutes before I had to go home or pass out in front of everyone. Last time I was okay, but I think the heat (at least 80) and the rushing did not help matters.
I feel bad about leaving them shorthanded, even though technically I could have taken leave because of my grandma's death. I feel embarrassed that I nearly passed out. I'm worried that this makes me look bad because I had the poor judgment to give blood and then try to work. I don't really want to face everyone tomorrow, but this isn't something I can just run from. Do you think I made myself look really bad to my coworkers and managers? Or do you think they will give me a break and that I should as well.. Thanks.