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-   -   Trying to understand this breakup (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=461877)

  • Apr 1, 2010, 05:22 PM
    RollTide86
    Trying to understand this breakup
    Honestly, I'm not normally much for talking about things, I usually just take stuff as it comes and go with it. But this is bothering me too much and I can't bring myself to talk it out with friends, so here I am. Any help would be appreciated greatly.

    Some background info: Im 23, met her in high school when I was 17. We dated steady for several months, never got serious but I was crazy about her even then. After HS, she moved for college but we stayed in occasional contact. A call here and there, we'd go out when she visited home, that sort of thing. When she moved back about a year ago we started dating again. We dated for about two months, things were looking good, I thought maybe it might be going somewhere. Then she disappeared. No breakup, no goodbye, just poof. Stopped calling, wouldn't answer my calls, gone. I was upset, missed her like hell.

    I didn't hear from her again until a few months ago, over a year. We went out a few times and I inquired about her disappearance the last time. I needed to know why she did it. She said that it had looked like our relationship was getting serious, which scared the livin' hell out of her, so she ran. If that was the truth, hey I can relate to that. I've never been much for long term stuff either. She was my only exception.

    Back to a few months ago. We continued to date, she swore she wanted us to last this time. I'm not going anywhere, she said. And I believed it. Things were great for a few months, we spent a lot of time together, spent the night with each other often, went out a lot and had fun. She actually told me she loved me. And I really think she meant it. I eventually said the L word myself, never done that before. But I did mean it.

    Couple weeks ago, I notice the signs.. the signs we all hate. I knew what was coming. So I asked what was wrong. She tells me she doesn't feel the same way anymore. Has no feelings for me. Now, you, this wasn't a gradual change. This was over the course of a week or less. I've thought back, thought maybe I missed something, no. A week before, this girl was crazy about me. We were happy.

    I ask questions, why how when all that crap but she has no answers. Just "I don't know"s. This makes no sense to me. I left, because I felt my
    Temper rising. A couple days later I try to call her, no answer no call back. A few days later again I tried another call, same thing. She won't talk to me, so I haven't tried to call after twice.

    The advice I need right now doesn't necessarily concern getting her back, although I'd love to. I'm just trying to understand why she left me. I don't see how her feelings could change like that. Nothing had changed. Any words of wisdom?


    The only thing I've come up with, is that maybe she's running again the same way she did last time we dated. I don't understand it, and I hate not understanding things.
  • Apr 1, 2010, 05:36 PM
    Homegirl 50

    Sounds like she has a problem with commitment or she is just flaky, I don't know and you may never know.
    But let this be a lesson and the last time you go there with her.
    "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
  • Apr 1, 2010, 05:40 PM
    vanheart

    Don't hang around for a third time.
  • Apr 1, 2010, 08:05 PM
    talaniman

    You may never understand the mind of a confused female, but she tried, and just couldn't do the commitment thing.

    The first time should have let you know don't try dating her again, as she will disappear on you, and has done it again.

    Take you lesson and learn, whether you understand or not. Don't even date her ever.
  • Apr 2, 2010, 12:18 AM
    amicon

    Some things we may never understand,and then we're better off just letting it go.

    And never date her again.

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