A year ago I got engaged to my best friend and even after 8 years we are horribly in love with each other. The wedding is coming up in about 2 months and for the last few months I think I've been becoming more and more depressed. I've taken all the little online depression tests and they all say I need to go see a doctor, which I probably will. I think the main source of my depression is that I have been dead set on moving out of my town for 10 years now. And most of the reason I am still here is to be w/her. But now that marriage is coming up I bring up moving all the time, and it usually results in her crying or just getting upset. She (like most girls) is extremely close to her family who conveniently all live in this town. I've been talking about moving away for our entire relationship, and I don't know if she thinks it's a joke to me, but I'm starting to seriously feel panicky and anxious that I might not get out of here. Small town life is all fun and nice in the story books but I'm ready to start living life while I'm still young enough to enjoy it. I know if I don't make the push she would happily live here forever.
Over the last few months I've been finding it harder and harder to get motivated to really do anything, which freaks me out. I'm normally an overly excitable person but lately I'm not even motivated to do the things I love to do. Even sex sometimes, which is REALLY unusual. I've told her that the thought of living her is really starting to beat me down, but she just says that it would be so hard to be away from her family and friends, and that she wouldn't be able to make any new friends anywhere. And then the crying starts if I don't stop talking about it at that point.
I've seen the people that have become trapped here by their loved ones because of "being close to family" or "good jobs" while the partner just gets more and more depressed and then finally 50 or 60 years later they die. Is there anything I can do?

How far away are you thinking of moving? 1 hr or greater? Maybe you need a plan to take baby steps to get away. One hour wouldn't be unreasonable. Then maybe few years a little further till you get to where you want. Big city life isn't all its cracked up to be either. Also if your going to have children in your future you need to consider the big picture.

Actually I kind of want to move all over. I'd absolutely love Southern California, but the Pacific Northwest would be great too. Maybe even the Central East Coast states. I'd love to move to Europe too for a while. But for now baby steps would be giant leaps. I've lived in the same tiny, boring midwestern town for 26 years now and I think I've got a pretty good feel for what life is like here now, so I'm ready for something else. In a way I almost feel like I have been settled down for my whole life, and I'm ready to get out and start living life now. Every one of my friends except 2 have moved off to other cities and states and I get so sick of hearing how awesome and fun their lives are now.

Then you have a lot of contemplating to do. If you really want to run free then starting a family isn't the way to go about it. Getting married usually means settling down not picking up and running. You need to figure out what's in your heart and your head and make plans. You can't expect her to automatically follow them so your going to have to compromise somewhere. Have you thought about maybe pursuing an occupation that would take you places and still have a home base? Something like long haul truck driving? Then you could see the world and still come home to your own heaven ?

Of course we all say how wonderful our life is when we move from our tiny community. That's because we don't want you to know exactly how isolated we are because we are in a big city with a ton of strangers.

I've been there done that and happily moved back to my small community where there is financial support if needed, emotional support, etc.

At your age, and I have children your age, you don't see the positives of small town life.

What you can do, on the other hand, is entice her to have new experiences. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, convinced me to move to Alaska. Almost 1,000 miles from friends and family. He proposed that it would be a short term move for the experience only. If I got homesick or lonely, we would move back. I loved it there and made a plethora of friends, but when our daughter was born it was too expensive and too far from family.

If you want to experience life outside of your small town, just make sure the two of you have an open door policy of returning if either one of you are not happy. There is really something to be said for being close to home when the children are born.

I understand the children thing and the town I live in would be a decent place to raise kids, and the school system is decent. Class size is still only around 30-40, but after they get done chopping the teachers they estimate it to level off at 50. Anyway, two extremely influential men in my life, one being my father, the other a very dear friend I've known since I was 6, both went through some very bad depression until each of them snapped basically and just moved. I just got done visiting my friend who moved 1500 miles away, he turns 60 this year, he told me his only regret was not moving away years ago. Maybe he's just a bad influence.

Look at it this way... She doesn't know that she would be homesick and you don't know that you would be happy. Now is the time to experience things together... before the children come.

Is it possible for you to take a vacation together before the wedding to one of the places you think you might want to move to one day? Maybe if she sees what it is like, and if you could show her why YOU like it, perhaps she would be more open minded about moving.

I worry that just living in a small town forever isn't your only issue here. Are you getting cold feet about getting married? Do you and your fiancée not see marriage in the same way? You seem to associate being married with being stuck; it doesn't have to be like that. You two will be your own family unit, and you can do whatever you please. Is she interested in traveling the world too? If not, why not? And if you two have been together for so long, how come you don't know why not? Please be sure this is what you both really want before you actually go through with this.