I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of two and a half years. And I'm so distraught over it, I loved him so much. We argued a lot, and he was very verbally and emotionally abusive. In fact still is, I just don't know why I'm still depressed about our break up. Why am I still in love with him? He does not love me no more he says, but still seems to message me and sometimes seems to be jealous if I have been even talking to another man. I just don't get it, how can I move forward with my life? I need to get passed this. This is really disrupting my life as it is, I just want to heal and move on.

Break ups are never easy. You should be very proud of yourself for being strong and getting out of an abusive relationship! Great job girl, that takes a lot of guts!

All you need is time, and the best thing for you to do right no is stick to No Contact (not to mention, this guy was verbally and emotionally abusive, why would you want someone like that in your life?) You broke up with him, show him you meant it. Don't call him, don't respond to any of his messages, nothing. Every time you do, you get roped right back in and you're making it that much harder for yourself to move on with your life.

He's already told you he doesn't love you, save YOUR love for someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

Hello Crazybeautiful,

I agree with Americangirl! Breakups are hard. Love just doesn't go away in a flip of a switch... Time will heal!


I think that getting yourself involved with more ativities, friends, family, or even volunteering some where will help take your mind off things. Keep yourself busy. Also I wouldn't respond to him. You could even tell him that him calling/texting is just to hard for you at the moment. Then that way, he won't think you are being mean to him, because keep in mind, he too may be taking this pretty hard. He may not be in love with you any more, but he still has strong feelings for you. 2+ years is along time and there is history there.
I wish you luck!

You stop talking to him-go no contact and stick to it.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

Give yourself time to heal.
You will.

Check out the "no contact" related threads in my signature.

No contact is an extremely helpful tool to heal from the break up.

No contact is a step forward, but patience is the key. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to heal so quickly. It takes time.

Question... you say he's still verbally and emotionally abusive. If you two are broken up, how is that still possible? And definitely go NC... as he clearly as his own issues that need to be dealt with before he can ever be with ANYONE

Cut all contact, and totally ignore him, is your best bet. Read the stickies, and be patient. Healing takes time.