How do I deal with this potential mother-in-law
Ok well where to begin. I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and we are very serious about marriage, but her mom drives me insane.
I have a dog named Scooter. And everyone loves the dog. Often my girlfriend will come get the dog and take her over to her parents house(she still lives at home, she is 23.) Everyone just loves her, but every time I come over and my dog is there, her mom is always making marks like, do you feed your dog, she is sooo skinny. Or if I come over with no dog, she will be like where is your dog? How can you leave your dog home alone. Is it in her Kennel, how can you leave that dog in the kennel? My dog is kennel trained, loves her kennel, its her den, safe place and will walk right into when I tell her to go to her bed. SHe also will go in her kennel when I am home and the door is wide open!
Anyway, the other week, my and my girlfriend went on a trip, and I picked up my girlfriend from her parents house and her mom was outside, and came over to my truck. And my dog was in her Kennel in the back seat(safest place for her while travelling) and her mom was like your going to make her ride in that kennel, and I replied its safest place for her. Then she says her good byes to my girlfriend, and says you should get your dog taken away from you. This really pissed me off. I didn't say anything though, just kept my mouth shut. My dog does travel out of the kennel too, but it is safest in the kennel, but I was in a rush getting packed and ready and everything loaded in the truck, I put the dog in the kennel so I didn't have to watch her and worry about her getting lose while loading!
So yesterday I go to her parents house for supper and earlier that day my girlfriend came and got my dog and took her over there. So after we are done eat ing, her mom looks at me and says You really shouldn't put your dog in a kennel, you kennel is too small too, its mean. I was stilla ngry about the week before and said it is not too small at all, the dog is suppose to have enough room to stretch out, stand, and turn around(if anything the kennel is too big) My dog is really small, it's a yorkie/shihtzu.
And then she began to argue with me and siad you should treat your dog like a kid, and I said no, it's a dog its not a kid, and I said go check out any dog website, they all say train your dog in a kennel! My dog is only 2 yrs old. I said my dog can't ruun loose when I am not home, I would come home to find only to find something chewed or wrecked, or electrical cord zapping her!
It got so heated, and she wouldn't give it up, going on and on, I just looked at my girlfriend and said lets go. Got up and left.
When my girlfriend gets home, her mother tells her, I am not saying sorry to him(she enver even asked her too) so she knows she is in the wrong right there! Then she tells her that she doesn't want her to see me anymore, and she tells her that she is still going to.
I have never had a argument with a gf's mom in my life! I get along with all my gf's moms. (I am 27 and have been in a relaitonship almost all the time since I was 15)
Its not just the dog issue, I don't even say much when I am at her house, because whatever I say her mom has something to say. Also a negative remark or disagreeance! But before this happened her mom always told her daughter that she likes me, and always asks about me. But whenever I am there she is so rude, snappy, and such a B word. I sit and watch her interact with her family and I do not know hwo to they take it. SHe treats them all like crap , screams at them, and I juse wasn't taking it anymore.
My girlfriend constantly complains about her mom, how mean she is, the mean disturbing things she says to her.
But I am in the wrong here? Her dad even was like does he normally blow up like that? That was weird? Are you kidding me, for one I didn't even blow up, I just walked out!
He is the nicest guy in the world, COMPLETE opposite, I do not know how he can stand to be with her.
So when I talk to my girlfriend about this when we leave, she says oh boy, now what. ANd I said I couldn't take it anymore, and I said remember how she said I should get my dog taken away from me, every time I come over she is saying something negative about me and my dog. WHen my dog is completely spoiled, and my girlfriend agrees that my dog is completely spoiled.
ANd she said, you know how my mom is, why didn't u just not saying to her. I said how is this my fault? I said your mom just needs to be quiet and mind her own business, I don't tell her how to raise her kids, how would she like that is someone came to her telling her that she is raising her kids wrong.
Her telling me my dog should be taken away just royally peed me off.
How do I fix this, I would not want a relationship where we would not be able to see her mom. I don't like conflict, that is why I never say anything at her house. Just to avoid it.
SOme examples which happened just before she mentioned my dog again are, Jimmy, have more to eat, I said I am full I had lots, it was delicious thank you, and she says, no you didnt(in a real snappy voice), I say, I had a steak, two garlic suasage, potatoes, corn and peas, and a huge bowl of salad! I seroiusly had to force myself to eat this much, it was a lot of food and her cooking isn't that good, she doenst like to put any spice or flavouring on her food, because SHE doesn't like it. But everyone else in her family does. But because she doesn't, she will not cook with it, so it really is very plain. She then still tells me to have more and I just say I am full. I was really annoyed at this point. It's the way she talks, its just so rude.
So after supper, my girlfriend made cinnamin buns that afternoon, so they all had a cinnamin bun, and they know I do not like dessert. I don't like sweets, I like to eat healthy.
ANd they stilla sk so I say no thank you, I am stuffed, maybe later, and he Mom barks up again, how can you not like dessert, that is weird. ANd I said I perfer hot food, meat. I am not much for sweets. Same answer every time, again so annoying!
I honestly hate going over there for supper, because its gross for one, and I have to eat more than anyone there. I even eat more than her dad at there suppers, just to her mom, her dad is like 300 lbs. big guy.
If this lady was my mom, I would have put her in her place along time ago. She would know how to treat, and talk to others. Her mom ahs no friends, and sits at home every minute, except when she is not working at the local discount store!
I am just really frustrated, because I am so nice, pretty much afraid to go to her house because her mom is such a B word, I just always so uncomfortable. I really love her sisters, and Dad too, and were so nice to me. But how do I get along with her mom. She needs a attitude adjustment. I have told my girlfriend to stand up to her Mom many of times, but she won't, she hates conflict!
Is there anyway to fix this?
