My boyfriend acts cold when I display affection unless he is in the mood for it. When I comment on how I feel, he gets defensive and accuses me of playing head games. This weekend I spend time with him and we had the same problem so he told me he thinks I should leave. Am I doing anything wrong?

How old are the two of you?

And how long have you been together?

Personally,if someone tells me I should leave,I do.

And I don't come back.

Sounds as if he's controlling and hasn't got the capacity to be empathetic with your feelings or moods, only his own.

Accusing you of playing head games, when you want to talk, is his way of deflecting the problem on to you. He's actually the one playing with your mind and emotions!

Is it worth staying?

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Originally Posted by amicon

How old are the two of you?

And how long have you been together?

Personally,if someone tells me I should leave,I do.

And I dont come back.

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amicon, I am 57 and he is 30yrs old. We have dated for 3yrs. I recently moved out because his family is also emotionally cold. It hurts. I never want to go back to his house. He will probably never apologize. Thanks doll for responding. I needed it.

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

Sounds as if he's controlling and hasn't got the capacity to be empathetic with your feelings or moods, only his own.

Accusing you of playing head games, when you want to talk, is his way of deflecting the problem on to you. He's actually the one playing with your mind and emotions!

Is it worth staying?

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Thank you gemini54. I am getting responses and I already feel better. I just responded to amicon. I need to stay strong

That's a pretty big age difference. Not saying too big, I am not able to judge that. I am just saying that you are at that sophistocated age and you know more of the world than he does. He isn't young himself but he probably has intimacy issues or problems showing his emotions.
I would say, if you think it is worth it, then a relationship counselor might not be a bad idea. He may even be looked at for psycho thearopy to get him to open up to people a little more. That's my best advice here. (BTW its nice to hear about another older woman going with a younger man. My fiancé is 36 and I am 24, and at the moment I could be no happier.)

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Originally Posted by Larken85

thats a pretty big age difference. Not saying too big, I am not able to judge that. I am just saying that you are at that sophistocated age and you know more of the world than he does. He isn't young himself but he probably has intimacy issues or problems showing his emotions.
I would say, if you think it is worth it, then a relationship counselor might not be a bad idea. He may even be looked at for psycho thearopy to get him to open up to people a little more. Thats my best advice here. (BTW its nice to hear about another older woman going with a younger man. My fiance is 36 and I am 24, and at the moment I could be no happier.)

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Thank you larkin85. I guess I am greiving a loss. He would never agree to counseling. I think he inherited this coldness from his father:confused:

It sounds like you're a mature adult and he isn't.

When you're not on the same page,its time to close the book.