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-   -   Should I stop leading him on? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=461053)

  • Mar 28, 2010, 09:32 PM
    estefff
    Should I stop leading him on?
    My ex has not gotten over me even though we broke up over 2 years ago. Throughout the last year or so, we hung out maybe once every few months. There would be times when we would talk everyday and hang out more frequently, but that only lasted a few weeks at time.

    Now, we have been talking and hanging out a lot for the last couple months. I don't like him the same way I liked him when we were going out. Like everything he does makes me mad and sometimes I leave his house never wanting to see him again. At the same time, he's becoming more and more attached and is really happy we're becoming close again.

    I don't want to end our relationship because I really like talking to him everyday and being with him. During times when we don't talk for a week or so, I get really lonely and miss him, even though I don't really like him more than a friend. However, I feel really bad and like I'm leading him on because he loves me so much. If I found another guy (and I'm still looking--another reason I feel bad), I'd leave my ex in a heartbeat. I don't know if I should continue leading him on or just stop and feel lonely.
  • Mar 28, 2010, 10:28 PM
    JoeCanada76

    That is a self explanatory question... Yes you should stop leading him on.
  • Mar 28, 2010, 10:33 PM
    amicon

    Stop leading him on-leave the guy alone as in no contact so he can heal from your breakup.
  • Mar 28, 2010, 10:39 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by estefff View Post
    However, I feel really bad and like I'm leading him on because he loves me so much. If I found another guy (and I'm still looking--another reason I feel bad), I'd leave my ex in a heartbeat.

    So basically your using him to fill the void until someone else comes along!!

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by estefff View Post
    I don't know if I should continue leading him on or just stop and feel lonely.

    You should STOP , and quit using someone else's feelings to boost your own , your even admitting it , how selfish :rolleyes:
  • Mar 28, 2010, 10:39 PM
    Showme_urmove

    Esteff I'm not trying to sound rude but you are being a selfish little girl. You only want to keep your connection with your ex to fulfill your desires so you won't have to feel the loneliness and sadness in your life. Your using his presence to make it easier for you to move on, not because you want to stay friends but to satisfy your emotional needs. The longer you stay like this more you are hurting him. Let him heal and move on cause the longer you do this to him, the more pain he will feel once you find someone else in your life. Remember he is a human being, don't use his presence for you to move on. How old are you? And how long did you 2 dated
  • Mar 29, 2010, 12:16 AM
    Gemini54
    Let the poor guy go - sheesh, you already feel bad about what you're doing - surely that's a clue as to what you need to do.

    Try feeling lonely, instead of feeling bad about leading him on.

    It won't kill you.
  • Mar 29, 2010, 12:30 AM
    Jake2008
    It boils down to do you want to break his heart now, or break his heart later when you find another boyfriend.

    While your needs are being met because the relationship with your ex keeps you from feeling lonely, he, on the other hand, is in love with you, and blissfully goes along thinking that you feel the same. I imagine that you must have reinforced that at some point.

    Please stop playing with him, and step up, be a woman and break it off for good. He will hurt now, but it will be far less when you break it off now, as opposed to finding another boyfriend, and then breaking up with him.
  • Mar 29, 2010, 05:54 AM
    Romefalls19

    YES! Stop leading him on a filling him with false hope.

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