A couple of months ago I met a guy through a friend He lives a few hours drive away and was only here for the weekend. We're both in our 40s and both single. We clicked immediately and chatted for most of the evening, at the end of which he asked if I'd like to meet up with him some time. I said yes. He gave me his phone number and email address and asked me to contact him. A few days later I sent the first email and we emailed a few times over the next couple of weeks.

Then I heard nothing from him for weeks. Just as I was giving up home he sent me a Christmas card and then a New Year's card. I emailed back both times - just chatty ones, never asking when we were going to meet up and he emailed back each time.

Then again I heard nothing from New Year's until Valentine's day and, just as I was giving up hope, he sent me a Valentine's card - signed. I emailed to thank him for his card.

I've heard nothing since and it's been 6 weeks.

I really liked this guy and am not sure what to do now. He has a demanding job and works unsociable hours so I have to take that into account. But I would so like to see him again, or even hear from him! Should I contact him or is that too pushy? What if he's changed his mind? I really don't want to chase, but he's fun and nice and he's the first guy I've been attracted to in years.

Thank you all in advance for your advice!

Wait for him to contact you!
Maybe he's in a relationship !

Hi Kitkat

He's definitely not in a relationship. I know this because he's an old friend of my friend and she knows him well. He's been single for a couple of years now.

All this waiting..!

Having experienced what you're going through, I understand completely the up-in-the-air nature of your everyday!

I would recommend sending him an email and saying what you've said there. Tell him that you haven't "clicked" with anyone for a long time and that you thought that the two of you shared something special. I would just be honest... because really, what do you have to lose but the uncertainty of "does he feel the click, too?"

Be honest with him, tell him what you said here, and see what happens. It will help you sleep at night and will answer the questions.

After you get the response from him, you take it to the next step, whether that is to meet up or to move on.

But you'll know. Best of luck.

Hi Historianchick

Good advice and yes I would know for sure. However, I'm worried I might scare him off by asking questions about how he feels about me. He may think I'm being pushy or chasing him!

You're right about grabbing opportunities when you can. But I suppose I'm worred I might make a fool of myself if he says he's changed his mind about me...

I suppose I keep thinking that if he is still interested then he'd be in touch. But, his job keeps him busy and you know how men can only think about one thing at a time..

I may be seeing him in about 4 months at an evening wedding reception although it's not definite he'll be going. Part of me tells myself to hold out until then... but what if I doll myself up and he never turns up..

Also, I've just re-read my question and it was actually about 4 months ago that I met him, not just a couple How can one man get into your head after only one evening..

Good Luck and I hope it works out for you! :)

Frankly after 4 months, he has done nothing but send you holiday greetings. I understand being attracted to someone, but that doesn't mean you have to hold out hope forever, as I don't care how he works, an interested person finds a way to pursue, through a lot of communications, so maybe you're attracted a lot more that he is.

I think the best course of actions is keep your own life going, and making it enjoyable, as he probably is doing his own thing, and you should be doing yours.

I just don't put a lot of faith in holding out hope, someone will eventually make time for me. You should not either.

I have to agree with Talaniman. If he were interested he would have contacted you. If you want to know how he feels ask him? It's better to know now than later.

Me,I'd let this go-sorry,but I've not yet met a guy who doesn't show he's interested by e-mailing,texting or phoning and actually suggesting meeting up in person.

Four months and after the initial emailing-holiday greetings?

I don't think you should waste any more time on this one.

Thank you everyone. You've basically agreed with my gut feeling which tells me not to waste any time waiting for him. The reason I stayed hopeful all this time is because I really liked him and believed he liked me. You're right and, if he really was interested, he'd have made time (a few minutes) to write an email even if he doesn't have time to see me. Very sad, but I'm letting this one go and getting on with my life.

Such a shame and he was obviously so keen the evening we met, even telling my friend afterwards that I was "lovely and funny" (ah shucks.. ).

My problem is that I was married for a long time and have been single for 2 and a half years and feel like a teenager starting the whole dating game again! A bit niave and nervous and petrified of making a fool of myself! But I haven't contacted. I may send him an Easter greeting next weekend and see if he responds. If he doesn't then I say byebye to any potential and get on with my (rather lovely and fun) life.

Thank you all again, Joanna.

Good thinking!
Enjoy your Easter and here's wishing you a happy life.