We both loved each other and when a situation came for marriage.. I introduced my boyfriend to my parents.. they didn't like him.. becoz of caste... he tried to convince them politely... they were not bothered.. I was strong enough in my decision to marry him.. I struggled to explain my love... that my life is nothing without him... my parents said they will surely die if take such decision.. out of no wish I got married.. my thoughts were around my love... could not concentrate on my new life... lost my job.. my boyfriend shouted at me not to talk to him anymore.. after that I didn't call him for 2 yrs... but this b'day he wished me through mail.. I was more happy and replied... he said about his career going and my thoughts are still there... again on his b'day I wished him.. he was so happy to reply me.. with more beloved words... I was in the extent of happiness.. Now I came to know from my friend that he is in love with his colleague.. eventhough I am happy for his life... something making me more jealousy and more worried... I feel for him more than when I got separated from him... by the way I started seeing mails every day for his mails in inbox... this disaapoints me... I love himm.. I want to talk to him.. I am crazy about him... if I talk to him once I will be OK... my heart is paining... nothing will console me except his voice... please I getting mad... help me

That's why it's important to listen to parents sometimes...

Wait, so did you guys get a divorce? Why did you not move on with your life in 2 years?

The only thing I would do, if I was in your shoes is ask him out for a friendly lunch or dinner and go from there, once you guys meet in person it will be easier to understand where each one of you stand... he would be happy to tell you more about his life and he will also ask you questions about your life...
Even "friendly" courteous words over the internet in emails can sound Romantic at times, so try meeting up with him if you can,

How does your friend know he likes the colleague?.

More of her story:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ms-456443.html

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sarv1999

My mother-in-law is a sweet person for everyone in my husbands home..I first i too thought she is true to me & my husband.but came to know later that she makes every plan for her wish to come true.from childhood my husband's only mantra is his mother's words..he never goes against...after marriage she had said not to mingle with my parents and sisters..and to maintain the distance..he will not greet my parents or talk to them when they arrive to my home...i am much worried how a mom could tune a son so nicely..to hear all of her words..if i advice him softly what u do is not correct...he will not mind and will continue to be the same..even if we get 2 days leave also i wish to go for some outing place...but he will rush to his native to meet his mom...and will talk to her for the whole day..till now after 3 yrs of married life he has not talked to me for more than 10 mins...he says he wants to marry me becoz he felt i would take care of his parents nicely..only for that reason he married me...even if u dont talk to me,dont cook me food i will not mind but please talk to my parents daily....make them happy..live for them..

I am fed up of him...he acts all as per mothers word...no self thinking...tried to max even going to psychiatrist but no use..he is mad of his mother and thinks he is a bachelore still to enjoy his time with parents..

I hate my husband...& my motherin law who make her wishes come true from his son

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You are married and having marital problems. Work on those and forget your ex-boyfriend. He is in the past. It does not matter who he loves or doesn't love. YOU are married whether your husband acts like it or not.

You have to train your mind to not think about the ex-boyfriend. When you find thoughts of him coming up, think of something else. Keep yourself busy with what you should be doing instead of pining after a lost love.

Do not contact him in any way. It will make it worse for you. Have absolutely NO CONTACT with him. Including through mutual friends spreading rumors. Stop being stuck in the past. Live in the present and build the future.

Thanks cat for your advice,
It is late to receive your advice.what happened is "one of my bestfriend expired some days back..she is known to him also very well" so I just want to inform.. I sent him a message through mail... immediately I got reply "he is much worried about it & want to know what happened clearly" I again sent him reply.. & just said I need your contact no.. he sent num immediately... I talked to him casually.. asked about his family members,his life everything.. came to know from his words that he is in love.. but he is not ready to accept it... he just said "u will come to know soon".. after I talked to him.. I didn't sleep for the whole night I was to the extent of happiness... my heart filled with joy.. since I now came to my native place to visit my parents... I thought I can talk to him whenever I wish... but my happiness didn't extend for long time.. I know already his free time after work is only during late night after11:30pm... he asked me the first question "why this time you call" casually.. I said "i wanted to talk to u..this is ur comfortable time..he just shared his work pressure...and only now he is ok after we lost our love life..he struggled a lot to come out of it..and now his thoughts are totally towards job & achievement and fear to get committed with other girl..for next 2 days same way i continued talking to him...he was not casual to me & always ask "why this time you are calling me" and he said for the last time " go for sleep it is late" we used to talk each day max 10 min that s it...even that matters me much....but seems like he is not intersted...next day to my shocking i received a mail from him...
1. First of all I wish to forget all those things what i did and face

2. Jas died, again we are speaking, everything is fine

3. your parents and brothers now ur hubby also not wish to speak with me

4. when i speak to you my thinks u r another wife

5. night u made a call thats not good

6. ur hubby thinks ur thinking, ur every action , ur making something new evrything only for him
7. when u sit seperate room he thinks u r doing something

8 No one thinks u r interacting some person that ur ex

9 no one believe u r doing something wrong

10. ur parents are very much understanding and believe with you

11. please don't call me and don't think me

12. u r not distrubing but i can not to speak with you

13 u r husband believe you u r not loved anybody

14 so i wish to end these thing

15 god gives very nice life

16 please dont call first erase my number

17 including mail also

18 i made mistake

19 sorry to all

20 please, they are very much belive you

after seeing this message i was vexed..my life is not moving...i feel like breaking myself...tears fill up me always...even when we got separated there was a slight hope for me that eventhough we are not married...i will be happy to be his friend & take care his wife,children....all dreams are spoiled...he strictly said "don't call me don't talk to me"
Oh god,my heart is painful... I am pregnant now.. & I should overcome this situation without disturbing him anymore...
My feelings should not hurt my baby... help me

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sarv1999

after seeing this message i was vexed..my life is not moving...i feel like breaking myself...tears fill up me always...even when we got separated there was a slight hope for me that eventhough we are not married...i will be happy to be his friend & take care his wife,children....all dreams are spoiled...he strictly said "dont call me dont talk to me"
oh god,my heart is painful...i am pregnant now..& i should overcome this situation without disturbing him anymore...
my feelings should not hurt my baby... help me

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Please accept my condolences on the loss of your friend.

My advice still stands. Stop living in the past. You need to work on your marriage and plan for your child.