Ok so long story short the father of my child is a pathelogical liar. I've know him for 6 years and we have dated on and off. The last time I got pregnant.. when I told him I was keeping the baby he changed his number on me. I ran into him and he gave me his new one claiming he didn't mean to. Then I found out the sex of our child went to call him and he had changed it again. The only reason I got it back was I left a very pissed off message on one of his websites. Now he's saying he's going to be there for his child.. he's tried to hit on me but I've denied his approaches because of his recent actions and because I know he is seeing other girls. He is now saying he is 4th year in med school yet has been working full time since I met him. A little while ago he said he had prostate cancer. He also claims to have bought a condo out of town but isn't moving now because of the baby. There are tons of other small lies and I don't ask him to tell me these things he just comes out with it out of no where trying to make himself look good or something. The only time I contact him is about the baby cause as the father I feel he has the right to know but I'm actually terrified he's going to constantly lie to my kid and oh I'm 29 weeks pregnant.. I'm scared of the influence he will be in my child's life and I don't trust him to be alone with my child once he is born. I really don't know what to do.. when I catch him in lies he gets mad and tells me I'm stupid and I don't ever listen and that he has told me 10000 of times about whatever he's lying about. He also has another kid that he claims to see all the time but the child lives in a different country? He also has no pictures of him with his child and told his ex girlfriend that the child was dead... would you want this type of person in your child's life? Any suggestions on what I can do would be greatly appreciated I want what's best for my kid and that's all.. but I wish the father would take off cause I think it may be the best thing for my kid.

There is no law against telling lies to individuals unless its on a legal document or under oath.

You knew he was like this for 6 years and yet you continued to see him... AND have his baby.

Immoral... unethical... certainly. But not illegal.

Why is this in the Family Law forum?

Based on your description of the circumstances it sounds like it would be healthier for you and the baby not to have that type of person involved in your life. I don't understand why you've continued seeing him off and on all these years if his behavior has been so deplorable. It is not always best for a child to have both parents in the picture if one of those parents proves to have unhealthy tendencies. Would the father bother trying to be a part of the child's life if you weren't contacting him about it in the first place? From your explanation, it doesn't really sound like it. I would suggest seeking full custody of your child if you don't want the father involved, but the choice is ultimately up to you.

Sorry I accidentally posted in the wrong category..

And my decision to see him on and off was not a good one however the lies didn't start until recently.. and it was always very casual when we dated..

My question was more of a vent session because I refuse to speak about this with family member to avoid from any negative reactions when him and my family are around each other because I thought he might come around and I thought he was a much better person then he has turned out to be.

I just want what's best for my baby.. and I wonder if having a liar as a father is better then not having one at all?

And Blue Angel - he does contact me only recently asking me how the baby is and then going off about himself and spilling out his lies... and I bite my tongue to keep the peace.. rather then calling him out on the lies.

The liiar is the father, you can't change that unless you get married and they adopt.

It was the choice you made when you had sex with them, knowing they are like this

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

the liiar is the father, you can't change that unless you get married and they adopt.

It was the choice you made when you had sex with them, knowing they are like this

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Well I should have expected judgemental responses.. however I get that he was not a good decision and the pregnancy was an accident.. it may have been a stupid decision but I believe everything happens for a reason and now I'm having a baby and I would not change that for the world cause I already love my son with everything in me.

So the question was not.. "duhh did I make the right choice?" The question was what should I do now. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and reaching out for some guidance.. and yes my decision may have got me here.. but who hasn't made decisions that have put them in awkward situations..

Yes, two months in and now you don't want him in your life, sorry legally it does ot work like that, he is and will remain the father unless he loses his rights by some extreme action on his part, ( perhaps long term jail time) or serious criminal history.

Its not being judgmental, its simply a fact of the situation. I'm leaving this in Family Law until you define what you really want to do.

The fact is he is the father of your child. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, he will have a father's rights.

What you should do is, as soon as the child is born, File for primary physical custody and child support.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Its not being judgmental, its simply a fact of the situation. I'm leaving this in Family Law until you define what you really want to do.

The fact is he is the father of your child. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, he will have a father's rights.

What you should do is, as soon as the child is born, File for primary physical custody and child support.

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Just curious, if the mother doesn't want him involved, and he doesn't want to be invloved (assuming this is the case), what are their options that you can think of legally?

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Just curious, if the mother doesn't want him involved, and he doesn't want to be invloved (assuming this is the case), what are their options that you can think of legally?

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The mother has no choice unless she can prove him a danger. However, she can't compel him to be involved she can only compel him to pay support. She can not ask for support, not even go to court, but if he wants his rights he can get them.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

The mother has no choice unless she can prove him a danger. However, she can't compel him to be involved she can only compel him to pay support. She can not ask for support, not even go to court, but if he wants his rights he can get them.

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But if she doesn't want him involved, and He decides that he doesn't want to be involved, can he just turn over his rights?

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

But if she doesn't want him involved, and He decides that he doesn't want to be involved, can he just turn over his rights?

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Nope, did you read the sticky note I wrote about this at the top of this forum?

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Nope, did you read the sticky note I wrote about this at the top of this forum?

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No I actually avoid the law forum but I was curious and I didn't know it was there. I'll check it out now though.