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-   -   How do I go about it? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=46030)

  • Dec 1, 2006, 04:05 PM
    movinon20
    How do I go about it?
    :confused: My husband and I have been married only five months. Since we've been married, he's changed into a completely different person and I don't know who he is at all. I recently found out that he has been cheating on me for 3 of the 5 months and when I confronted him about it, he physically attacked me. Now I am wondering how do I go about getting a divorce. I have no idea where to start and I can't afford a lawyer. Is going through a lawyer the only way to get a divorce? Is there a free way to go about it? I am not interested in attempting to get anything from him. I only want to take what I came into the marriage with and be rid of him. Please help.
  • Dec 1, 2006, 04:35 PM
    ScottGem
    That depends on where you live (an important fact you left out) and whether he contests it or not.

    The first thing I would do is contact a local shelter for battered women. You need to get out of the house immediately. Most such shelters or osupport groups will be able to advise on what you need to do to next.
  • Dec 1, 2006, 05:42 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    I had the same sort of experience in my first marriage. Scott is very right about get out asap, to a friend's house or a shelter even. Pack a bag and take the most important stuff with you. Either way contact a professional in domestic violence to help orchestrate everything to come, including hooking you up with legal aid and other resources. I eventually moved to another state after he violated the restraining order and finished divorcing him from there. We were together one year. Although its tempting, don't take any serious risks over getting all your stuff. Its just stuff.

    You are not alone.
  • Dec 4, 2006, 10:32 AM
    movinon20
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by movinon20
    :confused: My husband and I have been married only five months. Since we've been married, he's changed into a completely different person and I don't know who he is at all. I recently found out that he has been cheating on me for 3 of the 5 months and when I confronted him about it, he physically attacked me. Now I am wondering how do I go about getting a divorce. I have no idea where to start and I can't afford a lawyer. Is going through a lawyer the only way to get a divorce? Is there a free way to go about it? I am not interested in attempting to get anything from him. I only want to take what I came into the marriage with and be rid of him. Please help.
    I'm in Tennessee.
  • Dec 4, 2006, 10:59 AM
    ScottGem
    I would still start with an organization that supports battered woman. They can advise you about no fault divorces if available in your state. But if he refuses to cooperate then you will probably need an atty. The organization can hook you up with one who will be moderately priced or even free.
  • Dec 18, 2006, 11:11 AM
    cavalovness
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by movinon20
    :confused: My husband and I have been married only five months. Since we've been married, he's changed into a completely different person and I don't know who he is at all. I recently found out that he has been cheating on me for 3 of the 5 months and when I confronted him about it, he physically attacked me. Now I am wondering how do I go about getting a divorce. I have no idea where to start and I can't afford a lawyer. Is going through a lawyer the only way to get a divorce? Is there a free way to go about it? I am not interested in attempting to get anything from him. I only want to take what I came into the marriage with and be rid of him. Please help.
    I am going through the same situation, I have been married since march 2006, and my husband has done a complete 160 as well. I read your question and I know this is not a response, but I am trying to get an anullment done because I heard it is easier than a divorce. I would like to speak with you to elaborate further on the situation, feel free to email me and we can update each other on any information we receive regarding this process, this is very hard for me because it is my first marriage and I am only 23yrs. The difference in my situation is not that I have caught him cheating, but that he is never there physically or emotionally.
  • Dec 18, 2006, 11:12 AM
    cavalovness
    [QUOTE=cavalovness]I am going through the same situation, I have been married since march 2006, and my husband has done a complete 160 as well. I read your question and I know this is not a response, but I am trying to get an anullment done because I heard it is easier than a divorce. I would like to speak with you to elaborate further on the situation, feel free to email me and we can update each other on any information we receive regarding this process, this is very hard for me because it is my first marriage and I am only 23yrs. The difference in my situation is not that I have caught him cheating, but that he is never there physically or emotionally. Respond @ cavalovness @ yahoo.com if need be
  • Dec 18, 2006, 11:29 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    In Tenessee you can file for divorce yourself, there are even online sties that will do the para legal work for you, you can even go to places like Staples in TN and get divorce kits back in their legal forms section.

    First I will assume you have moved out and are living somewhere safe, that is the first thing you do. Get a job and start your life new.
    You have time to file in a few months if you want to. But the main issue is getting safe.

    If your husband will merely sign the divorce there will be no issue, if he fights it, then it gets harder and an attorney may be needed

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