Well, a while back, I was dating this girl I knew for a few years. One day we finally came out and told each other how we felt about each other, but at that time I was going through some rough stuff in my life with school and my family so it was a pretty bad time for the relationship. Everyday I would be grumpy and depressed and she would always be happy and jumpy and I would take my mood out on her. I would usually block her out or get into an argument with her. I would always run away if I had a problem, she wanted to help me with my issues but I was always ran from my problems. Of course we made up. But one day, I found out my best friend had been in a car accident and died. She of course was in a happy mood and I was miserable, so I broke up with her and I told her she was annoying and how we weren't meant for each other. It didn't help I was talking about her behind her back. A few days later, I started to feel horrible for what I said and did to her everyday it's been killing me inside more and more. I eventually did get around to apologizing but she didn't believe me, she figured I was just bullting her so I would come back and do the same stuff I did in the past it would all end up the same. I still have some feelings for her and I wouldn't care if I could just be friends with her but I don't see it happening. She's still angry. I've seen stuff she's posted and a lot of it shows "I hate you (My name)". It's been about 8 months now, and I've been fine, but lately it's just been bothering me and it's all I can think about it. I know I was a selfish jerk and I've learned from my mistakes, I just want her to believe I'm sorry and just talk things out. If there's no hope then I understand I'll just have to move on and forget about her, but it's hard.. I messed up. I'm only human. I guess I just needed to vent, seek advice, as I feel uncomfortable talking about this with my friends or family and would rather talk about it "Anonymously".

No there is no hope, and its well and good you realize you very bad unacceptable behavior, so you don't repeat it ever.

Her hating you is understandable and she may never forgive you so, accept your consequences, and leave her alone, and move on.

I agree with Tal.

Just because you feel guilty for the way you treated her, you need her to know you're sorry so that you can move on and no longer feel like crap.

What about her? Do you think you contacting her to relinquish your guilt will do her any good? It's been 8 months, let her be. Face the consequences of your actions.

At least you realized that you made mistakes and hopefully in your next relationship you won't do the same thing.

Like I said, please leave her be. Don't be selfish by contacting her to make yourself feel better. Plus, you said yourself she doesn't believe you.

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Originally Posted by AmericanGirl01

I agree with Tal.

Just because you feel guilty for the way you treated her, you need her to know you're sorry so that you can move on and no longer feel like crap.

What about her? Do you think you contacting her to relinquish your guilt will do her any good? It's been 8 months, let her be. Face the consequences of your actions.

At least you realized that you made mistakes and hopefully in your next relationship you won't do the same thing.

Like I said, please leave her be. Don't be selfish by contacting her to make yourself feel better. Plus, you said yourself she doesn't believe you.

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You are both misunderstanding. I haven't contacted her SINCE 8 months ago. I'm not trying to relinquish my guilt, I messaged her a long time ago apologizing; she didn't forgive me, so I moved on. I'm just saying, lately I've been thinking back on it and feeling regret.

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Originally Posted by casm82

You are both misunderstanding. I haven't contacted her SINCE 8 months ago. I'm not trying to relinquish my guilt, I messaged her a long time ago apologizing; she didn't forgive me, so I moved on. I'm just saying, lately I've been thinking back on it and feeling regret.

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Sorry, I misunderstood. I assumed you contacted her SINCE you broke up 8 months ago.

Basically what we're telling you because you're feeling all this guilt again, is to NOT to contact her. There's no secret potion you can take that will make you feel better, a lot of people feel poorly about some things they did in a past relationship, but the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes. You were going through a rough time and you were unfairly took it out on her. Instead of allowing her in to help, you shut her out. You can't change that now, it happened. However, you NOW know that this was the wrong way to go about things, but that's the great thing about hindsight eh? You always realize it after the damage has been done.

The only thing you can do is ensure that in your next relationship you handle things differently. Have you taken some time to yourself in the past 8 months to ask yourself why it was you acted the way you did?

You may realize that this behavior was wrong, but until you figure out why you ran away from all your problems, or why you would shut her out when she wanted to help, it may happen again.

We all do things that we regret and to make matters worse, you can't make amends to your deeds (i.e. she won't accept your apology).

Though you might have done a lot of things in the past that you regret, you can't beat yourself up for it. Focus on correcting your past mistakes. Unfortunately, we can't turn back the clock, we can only move forward.

These feelings will probably continue to creep up on you in the future as well. You just need to find a way to contain the feelings. Instead of making the feelings go away, find a way to cope with them as they come up.

I think that the best way for you to deal with this situation is to write a letter, address it to her and say all the things that you need and want to say, vent your emotions completely and be totally honest with both her and yourself.

Then BURN IT.

That way you can express your emotions but are not burdening her with having to deal with your re-entrance into her life.

We all make mistakes, just make sure you learn from this situation and prevent it from happening again.

Best of Luck.

This relationship is long over, so don't even think about contacting her again. You've already admitted your mistakes and aplogized, so that should be the end of it.

You have done your part. Just remember - Apologies don’t have to be accepted, only offered.

I totally understand what you are going through my friend.
I'm experiencing the same thing right now. The feeling is crazy but
You definitely have to try your best to move on.