Ask Me Help Desk - Teen problems at home, Alcoholic parents and some other stuff..

Well my names nicole and I am constently fighting with my parents my mom excecially.. she had me when she was 16v or 17 and when I was younger I sprent most of my time with my grandparents.its like she doesn't understand anything I say and she also won't talk to me about anything.. she has been married to this guy for along time now he's been in my life since I waslike 2 or 3 but I have never callled him dad and inever will.. when I get wrounded(which is a lot.. im grounded right now)she won't even talk to him about it to try to get meoff grounded because she doesn't want to fight with him about it.. I get grounded for stupid reasons right along with my other two bros.and my mom is always on his side because she doesn't want to fight.. im just really sick of it and very frustrated.. not only do we never get along but they go to the bar a lot and I'm always homewith the kids now more then ever because I'm grounded.. and the bar thing is all the time.. we now live in south dakot a but going on 2yrs ago we lived in minnestota and they were addicted to meth and now that we moved away they donedo it.but insteadof now being drugies there alcoholics.. for example last night was my moms 34th b-day and she camehome around 10:00 pm just totally wastes my step dad just got homehalf an hr before her.. well I went down stairs to check on her and here she is pasted out on the bathrooom floor I tryied to get her up but she was so bad that she could barley talk.. it was pathetic.. wut really gets to me the most is my little sisters there 11 and 9 I think and they know what a hangover is and when my rents are drunk.. and they laugh about iut and think its funny and it really bugs me.there little girls they shouldn't know about that kind of stuff you know? well I don't really know what to do so if anyone can help me figure this out that would be great.. Thanx

First, let me say how sorry I am that you are being brought up like this. This is not how a normal childhood should be. Life is passing quickly and before you know it you will be 18, an adult in most states. What are you doing in school to prepare for that? I know you may not want to here this, but school is going to be one of your biggest helpers here. If you can do really well, you can go to college and get a great job. Although your life as a child is hard now, you can still have a great life, because who you are as an adult is your choice.

How was life with your grand parents? Any better?

Well First Off I Know Excatly How U Feel Cause That's How My Life Was Minus The Drugs... im Now 18 And I Have A 3 Month Old Baby Boy... I Got Grounded Long My Brother We Were Grounded For 11 Months At A Time... the Best Thing To Do Is Try And Stay With Grandparents Or A Relative Because The Current Situtation Is Going to End You Up In A lot Of Trouble Either By The Police Or Like I Did I Got Pregnant... so When Their Both Sober And Home And In A Pretty Good Mood Talk About U Staying Somewhere Else...

Ps... I Hope This Helps U

Quote:

Originally Posted by momincali

First, let me say how sorry I am that you are being brought up like this. This is not how a normal childhood should be. Life is passing quickly and before you know it you will be 18, an adult in most states. What are you doing in school to prepare for that? I know you may not want to here this, but school is going to be one of your biggest helpers here. If you can do really well, you can go to college and get a great job. Although your life as a child is hard now, you can still have a great life, because who you are as an adult is your choice.

How was life with your grand parents? Any better?

Well I never acctually lived with my grandparents I was talking about when I was little.I have never lived with them now as a 17yr old or any of my teen yrs.. I plan to maybe go to college but I'm not sure I haven't decided yet I guess

Quote:

Originally Posted by rtdc

Well First Off I Know Excatly How U Feel Cause Thats How My Life Was Minus The Drugs...im Now 18 And I Have A 3 Month Old Baby Boy...i Got Grounded Long My Brother We Were Grounded For 11 Months At A Time...the Best Thing To Do Is Try And Stay With Grandparents Or A Relative Because The Current Situtation Is Gunna End You Up In Alot Of Trouble Either By The Police Or Like I Did I Got Pregnant...so When Their Both Sober And Home And In A Pretty Good Mood Talk About U Staying Somewhere Else...

Ps...i Hope This Helps U

Welli don't think I'm able to do that they don't listen tome me and my mom barely ever talk you know and when we do we fight so there's really no way that wouldwork.iguessu just have to knomy mom to understan.. thanks forur help it means a lot.

Hi Nicole, this must be very difficult for you, is there anyone you could confide in? You need help in this situation is there any adults at all that you trust whom you could talk to?

We have a phone line in Scotland its just for children who are having difficulties, it is called childline, do you have this in America? Could this be an option?

I don't know the law in America about you leaving home legally but you could end up in a worse situation than you are in now, that is not a good idea.

There are a lot of nice people here who will try to help you, so just stay with it. I send you my love and my thoughts will be with you.

Hi Nicole I don't no how much help I can be because I'm pretty much in the same position.
Just the other way around my mam and dad had me when they were 15/16 my mum died when I was 2 and my dad hates me.
But I think maybe you should get some help from friends and people who care about you and go stay with other people and bring your bros and sis's and try to make your mum under stand she needs to become a better parent before you can come home.hope I helped.

Where are your grand parents and your mother and father’s sister(s) and brother(s)?
You need a break and so do your sisters. Having arguments with parents that are abusing any substances is never a good idea. So, in the future do not argue with your parents for a drunk cannot be reason with.

When you see a parent drink move to a quiet place and call a family member to come and take you and your sisters with them. While you are going though this... tell yourself you are doing this for the love you have for your parents.

You can call the family and friends together later and have a family and friends intervention. The village (family) is needed here. Do not hesitate in calling the troops (family). Do you love your parents? If yes, then do what you have to do in order regain peace in your home.

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Originally Posted by shadyslady313

Well i never acctually lived with my grandparents i was talkin about when i was little.i have never lived with them now as a 17yr old or any of my teen yrs..i plan to maybe go to college but im not sure i havent decided yet i guess

welli dont think im able to do that they dont listen tome me and my mom barely ever talk ya kno and when we do we fight so theres really no way that wouldwork.iguessu just have to knomy mom to understan..thanks forur help it means alot.

Well if they don't listen to you then you have to take charge talk to your grandmother about you staying there then pack your stuff and do it because there going to have to notice wats going on and if they don't then your be wit your grandmother anyway.

Contact the counselors in school see what they have to offer.. if you are worried about them interceding to aggressively for you then just obtain info from them about certain scenarios.. also there are crisis intervention programs available through social services... do a search in your city or locality on the internet... It sounds like you are alone with no one to fall back on... if this grandmother is still in your life and she is trustworthy and able to help... pick up the phone and make it clear you need help right now... you sound very strong... I don't think things will get better for you unless you make it happen...