Is this love? If it is then is it forbidden one?
Hi Everyone,
I am 23 yr. old Hindu gal. I never thought that I could get into such a situation. And, I never imagined that I will have to beg for help in such place like forums to solve my love problem. I have moved with my parents to Canada about 5 years back. Till last August I used to work at fast food restaurant as a Part-time job. After a year, I met a guy at my job who is 3 yrs younger than me and who is a Malayali Catholic. We worked together (at some shifts) for more than 3 years. He is really a nice guy not like other guys as per what I have noticed all those years. Everyone at my workplace likes him a lot.
At first 1-2 yrs it was all normal between us. We were like friendly but also enemies at sometimes. We used to make fun of each other, bugging and all that. But after that, one day a close friend of him who also works with us, whispered that this guy has a serious crush on me. I didn't believe about that crush and all but when I observed him hiding and watching me most of the time, I had to believe it. He started behaving so strange like talking less, no more fights you but bugging rarely, nervous while talking and all that. Like I noticed one day that even when he had no shift, he used to come and sit in his car and watch me through the glass window till my shift ended and follow me till I got into the bus (( He has been doing this sometimes till the last working day)). Since then I started feeling so strange but, nice and special feeling. In spite of all this, I took it easy but at the same time used to feel so nice, feel like talking to him but can't talk. I started feeling something is going on which is not right. So I started to ignore him few times even when he was trying to talk to me. After that days passed away like that and this was months before I was going to leave the job that I got an admission in an University. So I had to inform everyone that I was going to leave the job. I remember, his face got so upset when he heard about it. Since then he totally stopped coming in front of me or talk to me but still keeps watching me all the time hiding. But all his friends used to talk to me but not him. In fact his friend told me indirectly that ""someone"" had cried for that I am going to leave this job.
Then it was my last working day. Everyone of my co-workers came to visit me at my workplace to say me goodbye but he didn't come. Then my shift ended, when I was about leave , I remember my dad came to pick me up at the end of my shift. When I came out of the entrance and heading along with my dad towards my car, I see him sitting inside his car and watching me going. (he didn't park his car that evening where he used to to watch me)). And his friends were beside him. They were the same friends who came inside to say me goodbye. If he was there, then why didn't he also come and say bye to me. By seeing his eyes I felt strongly that he wanted to say something. I don't know what was it.
And I was so upset to leave that job but I had no other choice. I wished that he would have come and told me at least a bye that evening and I would have told him that whatever is happening is not right because it is not possible. I purposely didn't leave any of my contacts and didn't even try to contact anyone from that job because of all this. Even now when I read his wall in the Facebook through someone else's id, he sounds so sad in his conversations. I can feel that. This is making me more upset but helpless.
As soon as I finish my semester, I feel like going there visit everyone. But at same time thinking about my compulsion then I think it is going to worsen the situation. But it has been almost 7 months now and I am not able to forget him, his eyes. I keep reminding all those moments some of them that were friendly, fighting and sometimes arguing moments. I am totally confused about what was all that happened.
Please kindly suggest that if it is truly a love and if it is love then yet if it is forbidden one? Please kindly help.