I am in a one sided relationship for almost three years now and sadly it has taken everything from me already even myself respect. I know that I am better than this however I can't seem to get myself out of this situation. Somehow I keep making excuses for myself as to why I am not able to make whatever move I decide on. Which is why I am expressing my feelings now.  I don't want to be in the situation I am in any longer for fear that just by staying with this person might get me in trouble with the law, I've been there and done that already and am ready to make a change for the better before it's too late.  M heart aches at the mere thought of leaving him but I have needs too.  The hardest part of leaving is not having a place to move to along with my three small dogs.  

What do you mean by one-sided?

If you have decided to move on and leave,start looking for somewhere to move to.

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The hardest part of leaving is not having a place to move to along with my three small dogs.

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Can you support yourself? If not, why not?

One-sided love is not fair to either person. Also, relationships are hard enough to keep even when both people are actively in love with one another. You cannot make it happen on your own.

It won't be easy but you can't possibly continue on this way with him especially if doing so might get you in trouble with the law!

You already said it yourself, you know what you need to do. Best to throw this fish back into the sea and look for love elsewhere.

One-sided meaning I'm always the "giver" in our relationship. Anything that has to do with my hapiness or for my benefit, he does not care for. I am also finacially unstable which makes it difficult or me to leave. Everything that we have right now are all fruits of my hard work.

Tell him to get out. Then work on being stable without him.

It's no longer a matter of finding love elsewhere, that eventually will come my way when the time is right. It's trying to build myself back together again is what I have trouble doing. I am emotionally shattered with no self esteem... He's robbed me of every bit of self respect I had left.

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Originally Posted by AmericanGirl01

One-sided love is not fair to either person. Also, relationships are hard enough to keep even when both people are actively in love with one another. You cannot make it happen on your own.

It won’t be easy but you can’t possibly continue on this way with him especially if doing so might get you in trouble with the law!

You already said it yourself, you know what you need to do. Best to throw this fish back into the sea and look for love elsewhere.

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You know what to do!
The answer is right in front of you!
But your real problem is finding the courage to do it.
Listen,close your eyes and be true to yourself... is it sadness or joy that is an occasional episode in your life?If its sadness,are you ready to live with it and enjoy the pain?If not,then what is it you want?Joy can only come when you let him go and look at a better tomorrow.
You must find the courage deep inside and hope to see that when you let him go,there will be someone else who will just be waiting to wipe your tears away and make you happy.
Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Mzgigi412

It's no longer a matter of finding love elsewhere, that eventually will come my way when the time is right. It's trying to build myself back together again is what I have trouble doing. I am emotionally shattered with no self esteem.... He's robbed me of every bit of self respect I had left.

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By finding love elsewhere I didn't mean look for another guy. You're obviously not getting the love you need from this guy so don't stay with him hoping things will change.

You need to separate yourself from this guy , this relationship sounds toxic. He's left you emotionally shattered, with no self esteem left, and at the same time managed to make you terrified of leaving him because you no where to go.

What I meant is you need to find love in yourself. You are worthy of being happy, you are worthy of being loved, and you are worthy of being respected. You really need to believe that and until you do, people like him will just take advantage of you.

Be strong. It's time you take control of your life.

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The hardest part of leaving is not having a place to move to along with my three small dogs.

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Probably the reason you couldn't live him is that you become very dependent on him. Once you put yourself in that stage of mind you yourself is your own enemy. Don't be afraid to live your life and make yourself happy. 3 years is long enough, be independent not dependent.

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I don't want to be in the situation I am in any longer for fear that just by staying with this person might get me in trouble with the law, I've been there and done that already

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why would you be in trouble with the law if you stay with him?

It's not easy to just tell him to get out, he's taken credit for all that I've done and blames all the screw ups on me. I tried telling him to leave but then he gets physical... This is where I shut up and tak in all the negativity without even a chance to defend myself, he gets physical. Another thing that bothers me is when everything seems to be going well between us. Within a blink of an eye his mood changes... All of a sudden he starts a fight and mentions a guy friend of ours whom I've had intimate moments with in the past. The mere mention of that guys names is enough for him to want to hurt me.

So he is physically and emotionally abusing you.
You need to get out-now.

Get help,call your local domestic abuse helpline,call the police and either get him kicked out or find a shelter for yourself.

His constant abuse has erroded your selfesteem,find the courage to save yourself and get rid of him.