Ask Me Help Desk - Is she on the rebound

Is she on the rebound

Girlfriend and I had been going out for 3 years. She was completely in love with me and depended on me for most things. However for the last 6 months of the relationship things got very dull as I think we both got too comfortable with each other and stopped making any effort. I therefore broke up with her and she sort of agreed that it was probably a good idea although she didn't want to do it at all. She was completely heartbroken. Pretty much immediately I thought I'd made a mistake, but for fear of putting her through it again, I didn't do anything until I was completely sure. A few months later I was sure, and tried to talk to her about it, but she says that she was over me in a couple of months, so didn't want to get back together, although it took her quite a while to make this decision. She is now dating a guy that a few months previous her and I had been joking about how ugly he is. Even speaking to her recently she admits he isn't good looking, but defends it as saying looks aren't everything (which of course they aren't, but physical attraction is surely important?).

I've reached a point where I don't really want her in my life any more. When I broke up with her I treated her so well and tried everything not to hurt her, but in the last few months after she turned me down she hasn't been there at all for me and has now just shacked up with this guy and plastered it all over Facebook knowing I would find out immediately.

So, the question is - is she on the rebound or just a selfish girl? Like I say, I don't want her in my life at all anymore, she just isn't the loving person I was in love with anymore, but am curious as to what you guys think?

Does it sound like she is on the rebound?

I think you are hurt and taking things a little personally. And of course she wants to put the word out everywhere so that you know she is better off than when you left her. It's a little spiteful but it happens and you really can't take offense to it. Just go with the idea that you do not want her in your life and get on with your life. Ignor her and get over the crap she is pulling to make you jealous. Remember you broke up with her and it is only logic that she had to move on. I am sorry she turned you down but it happens to the best of us. I simply suggest forgetting all about her until she is being more mature about it.

But to answer the questions, I think she is the girl you fell for but is hurt and boasting a bit. On the rebound... maybe not. Maybe she is just ready to get on with her life. And maybe she just wants a guy who is sensitive instead of big headed. (not calling you big headed but she may see it that way and may see the ulgy guy as less simply because he is not as good looking as you.)

You broke up with her,she says she is over you and she is dating somebody else.

Is it a rebound? Possibly,but does it matter?

Also,she isn't there for you because you split up,and she is with somebody else.

That's life.

Accept it and go live your own life.

Hello 123,

You asked " Is she on the rebound or just a selfish girl"? Selfish? No, I don't think she is being selfish at all considering YOU broke up with her, so now she is free to do what she wants. Rebound? Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to say. It sounds as if he was there in her time of need and there was some chemistry.

You mention in your post that you don't want her in your life anymore, so why do you care if she is on the rebound or not? Point being, is that you broke up with her, she found someone new, you don't want her in your life anymore any way, and that's all she wrote! So why torture yourself about this? It is what it is what it is, my friend.

Whatever the answer is it doesn't matter. She's moved on to another relationship. Whether it's a healthy one is none of your business.

Time for you to move on.

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Originally Posted by 123bobrunsfast*(

So, the question is - is she on the rebound or just a selfish girl? Like I say, I don't want her in my life at all anymore, she just isn't the loving person I was in love with anymore, but am curious as to what you guys think?

You no longer control her emotions and actions. You're jealous and hurt. It happens.

If you truly no longer care and don't want her in your life... then walk away and let her live her life. Disappear, quit the cyber stalking and MOVE ON with your own life.

Even after all the heartache, you still seem to be blaming her for not coming back to you. I don't blame her for not wanting to get back in a relationship with you. YOU kicked her to the curb for no more reason than the relationship had gotten "dull". I think you did a good job of proving to her just how undependable you are.

In a healthy relationship you communicate openly to survive the normal ups and down. Since she couldn’t depend on you to stay during the downs, maybe she found a new guy will be there for her through thick and thin.

Is she selfish? Absolutely not. Is she on the rebound? Maybe, but it's no longer your problem.

It’s over - Just move on and quit dwelling on it.

I think you move on with your life and leave hers alone. Stop listening to your ego, as looks have little to do with attraction, or having attractive qualities.

Stay off her Facebook, as I doubt she cares what you think of it. To take such public expressions personally is foolish, and self serving.

Yeah you probably wish she was pining over you still, but she isn't, so move it on.

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Originally Posted by 123bobrunsfast*(

When I broke up with her I treated her so well and tried everything not to hurt her

Except that you decided you were sick of her and then Dumped her , believe me you hurt her

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Originally Posted by 123bobrunsfast*(

But in the last few months after she turned me down she hasn't been there at all for me

So after Dumping her and her having to go through all the emotional turmoil of a breakup you expect her to be there for you , seriously :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123bobrunsfast*(

and has now just shacked up with this guy and plastered it all over Facebook knowing I would find out immediately.

Hurts losing yourself esteem doesn't it , Karma sucks

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123bobrunsfast*(

So, the question is - is she on the rebound or just a selfish girl?

Rebound maybe who knows and why should you care , Selfish? Definitely not , she did exactly what we all would have told her and that is forget about you because you dumped her , and get on with her life and then when she's happy with herself someone who wants her for who she is will come along.

Looks like she's happy now so leave her alone.

I bet she doesn't think you treated her so good after you dumped her. Its you who was selfish, thinking you could keep her around for your own reasons, and not caring if she was hurt or not. Thankfully she thought enough of herself to get her own life, and be happy.

So you found out the grass isn't greener on the other side, and that she wasn't going to play your little game of "let me break up and go do me while you wait and pine over me" and now your mad because she found someone that she has feelings for so you call her selfish. No it's you that is selfish for thinking you can have her at any moment. NEWSFLASH! Looks aren't everything, in fact some of the best relationships come from having an emotional attraction, mature people weigh that far higher than if the girl is a 10 but can't walk and chew gum You have a lot to learn